AIBU? Worrying about school & SS

[MummaHud]

Hiya, my daughter went to school today first day back after school holidays and started year 1, she’s been very openly talking about it and asking questions over the past few weeks, her new teacher is very strict and even said ‘Your kids probably won’t like me for the first few weeks, I set ground rules’. which I’m not disputing.

last night my little girl was complaining of a belly ache and kept telling me she had butterflies and needed wees, I could only pin point this to a bit of nerves and unsure what to expect, I reassured her it’s the same school and same friends, just a different classroom and a new teacher. She went to bed.

she woke up this morning; saying she feels sick but eating her breakfast, - I told her ‘if you feel really sick, or you’ve been sick at school, tell your teachers, they will call mummy’ - we got her dressed for school and as soon as she saw her friends on their scooters, she was loving life and went in without looking back.

at pick up the teacher said ‘She said she was sick last night and that you wanted to take her temperature, she’s also been saying she has a belly ache today’

I said ‘no, she was never sick?? She was just very nervous about starting back after the summer’ the teacher looked at me like ???? But then I said ‘was she ok otherwise’ to which the teacher said ‘she was fine!’

my daughter told me she ate all her lunch and all her snacks aswell

I am now worried they think I’m lying, I’d never send her to school poorly, I think she’s a 5 year old trying her luck to come home.

Will they report this? Or am I over thinking? I’ve never had such a thing happen before 🙈 I’m sure they hear worse, but I’m a genuinely anxious person and only want the best.

she’s been home 1 hour and not mentioned her belly or feeling sick once, she’s been running around, demanding snacks as usual.

Honestly they might role their eyes but they won’t report. They probably have lots of parents send in kids who have been sick, but kids can feel sick without being sick. Definitely don’t worry

You're overthinking.

Plenty of parents sent their children in who are actually vomiting. The teacher might not believe you but they can’t prove otherwise and if you don’t have any history of sending in children who should be at home, they should give you the benefit of the doubt.

Next time just say that yes she said she was sick but she meant unwell and not vomiting. I sent her in today in line with the school’s absence policy and trusted you would send her home if she deteriorated further. However, I was satisfied at drop off that she was well enough to be in school.

Thank you. It’s a difficult one, my daughter suffers with IBS. So she can have a ‘turned’ belly at the slightest of things as we are learning slowly what triggers her, it took a while last year for the reception teachers to understand this.

Report what and to who?

Plenty of parents send their kids in having vomited, but equally kids make stuff up and exaggerate, especially if they’re hoping to be sent home. Teachers have no way of knowing which is true.

Perhaps it worth having a chat with her new teacher to remind her of this?

I hope your daughter settles in ok. I have an autistic daughter who suffers with tummy pains and constipation or diarrhoea all the time as well anxiety. I can appreciate that sometimes it’s hard to know what the right thing to do is.

I am a teacher and they will definitely not report you to SS so please don't give that a second thought. It's a common occurrence for there to be some confusion when/if a child was actually sick.

Hopefully things will settle down with the new teacher. I know some teachers who live by the 'don't smile until Christmas' saying (not me!) so they can set the expectations of the class. A strict teacher isn't a bad thing but your daughter shouldn't be scared going to school. If she doesn't settle in a couple of weeks I would contact the school and ask for a meeting to outline your concerns.

My daughter was very nervous this year as she had a rumoured strict teacher but she has been back a few weeks now and really likes her. Some children like the comfort of knowing where they are with someone and that the children who are misbehaving will be dealt with.

You did everything right in this situation so have nothing to worry about - nothing will be reported.

If they'd really thought she'd been sick the night before they'd have phoned you to pick her up

I think about 5 kids a day tell me they have belly ache. Mostly they've got nerves, friend issues, ongoing stomach issues or ran a lot immediately after eating/need the loo.

Very occasionally, they are actually ill. I'd say once every month or two. Once a month or so someone will send in an actively vomiting child. None of these would be reported.

The actually ill kids we'd make note of, in case of picture building later on, but sickness would never trigger any kind of report alone. Don't worry, OP.

Whilst SS get a % of absolutely ridiculous referrals on a daily basis this wouldn't be one.

I work in a school and you are totally other thinking this.
As a TA I might pass info on to the teacher if a child says they were sick the night before and they might then speak to the parent..this is more because of the 48 hour rule where children should be off if they have been sick or have diarrhea. It relies on parents being honest and not a lot can be done if a child says they were sick, seems fine at school and parent says this isn't true. If a child however becomes unwell at school, says they were sick the night before, then they get sent home and we will perhaps record it noting that the child said they were sick but we're sent in unwell.
At this time of year a lot of children will say this and it just be down to anxiety so teachers and staff will just keep an eye on them and try to distract them once in school and help them settle in.