AIBU to consider the furthest away secondary school?

[3pears]

My daughter is in Year 5. Her closest secondary (school 1) is a 5 minute walk from our house and the one all her friends will probably go to. Her older sister goes there and is happy there but the extra curricular activities are slim pickings. Older sister doesn’t mind this as they do the one club she likes which is netball. Youngest loves drama and rugby and neither of these are on offer.

School 2 is a half hour drive away. There is a bus and I think it’s going to cost about £200 a term but could be more. School 2 is bigger and has more club options including girls rugby and does a big school production each year which dd2 would love. None of her friends will be going there. DH thinks I’m a bit mad to consider it when there is a perfectly good school round the corner.

outside of school, DD2 does netball and mixed rugby but won’t be able to carry on with mixed rugby in high school as she won’t be allowed and there is no local girls rugby club. She doesn’t do drama due to cost (and doing her sport) but would love to do musical theatre. She is very outgoing and makes friends easily.

academically, both schools are similar with similar subjects on offer for GCSE.

AIBU to even suggest School 2 as an option? I haven’t mentioned it to her yet. I think she’ll jump at the opportunity for it. dh think she should go to the same school as her sister as it’s closer, easier and DD1 is happy there. And we don’t have to worry about bus fees. What would you do?!

Hands down closest school

no way! I’d focus on saving that 5 hours plus a week commute on finding creative outlets near home

Surely they do drama in school lessons and I guess do drama gcse? That might be enough. There are loads of drama classes after school or weekends or she can do a summer intensive? Too risky to choose a school just for a drama club as they might not get in the productions.

Ask your DD which she would be happiest doing.

For many people, a 30 min bus ride is to their nearest secondary school so the distance is reasonable.

Not true, schools haven’t been allowed to prioritise people who put them as first preference for many many years. Applicants should place schools in their true order of preference - if school 2 does turn out to be OPs first choice but she doesn’t get in she still has exactly the same chance of getting into second preference school 1 as she would otherwise.

The only exception would be if OP didn’t put school 1 as a preference at all, which would be very unwise as then she could end up being offered something undesirable miles away. This is why LAs will always advise putting your catchment (or equivalent under other criteria) “banker” school as one of your preferences. Doesn’t need to be first preference though.

That's not how it works.

She'll be assessed by basically this order for each school.

Ehcp, looked after, siblings, I catchment,our of catchment...no room, computer moves to school 2 on list... Applies the rules etc

Also, our school says it has girls rugby and football teams but they cancel the after school club A LOT! And then the handful of games they organise each year is usually just selected from the PE groups. Very glad I didn’t choose the school for this alone.

Absolutely this. EC clubs are not a guarantee and children are likely to have different interests and hobbies as they grow.
The benefit of a close school is HUGE.

Thats a 1 hour round trip every day. Probably more once all the traffic, drop offs, problems are encountered. I know because my children did exactly the same trip.

It was my DS choice at the time and my DD followed suit. Encouraged by my partner. It benefitted them not a jot and in my eyes it just waisted 1 hour of their day, every single day of their school lives. Thats without discussing the money it cost.

I would rather put the money into a bank account ready for their final year and pay for some extra tutoring.

We debated long and hard about the local (10 minute walk) school or one of several in the next town. After a couple of meetings with the local school we opted for that, and it was 100% the right decision.

The early couple of years didn't make much difference (although obviously a short walk was advantageous), but once teens gain independence and want to go out in the evenings with their friends, go to parties etc, them being able to just walk to each others houses is a huge deal. I'd underestimated the importance of local friends!

Like several pp have said, your daughter can join clubs etc.

I think you need realistic timings. On a school morning, walk to the bus stop at your DD's pace, get on the bus, get to school, walk the other end, how long is it really? If the bus is full when is the next one? Same coming home if it isn't a specific school bus what are the timings? How bad would it be if it was absolutely pouring with rain on the way there?

My son's school had buses cancelled and a new timetable which really messed up start times for children. Luckily mine walked the 20 minutes so it didn't affect them but it did affect their friends. Mine had a waterproof cover that went on their rucksack and an umbrella but both Dh and I were available to run them to school and collect them in bad weather. Can you? Buses also get cancelled in snowy weather too.

For extracurriculars as above if a teacher leaves, becomes pregnant, breaks a leg, gets promoted and has more responsibility or whatever, that club can stop. I would definitely be looking at local clubs for both rugby and musical theatre and see if you can work the timings doing both.

I would choose a school on the basis of offering the best education for your dc, rather than the clubs that are on offer. Being close enough to get there herself and meet up with her friends is a huge bonus. She's still got opportunities for outside activities at the weekends plus she may discover additional interests that her new pals like doing already.

I would only consider a distant school if it was the only one that was suitable for my dc. If school A will work for your DD, I would be putting it down as my first preference and the further school as my second.

once teens gain independence and want to go out in the evenings with their friends, go to parties etc, them being able to just walk to each others houses is a huge deal.

This x 1000. One of the joys of secondary school is being able to make arrangements spontaneously with friends and not have to check first to see if a parent is available to drop and pick up.

Plus it's good for them to learn to get about indepedently, using public transport, or finding their way on foot.

That said, I wouldn't choose a school solely because it's where existing friends are going.

Up to your DD really, if she can get a bus independently and you can afford it I would at least suggest the option to her

Don't just think about the journey time, consider what time she would have to leave the house (eg to walk to the bus stop) and what time she would get back so the length of the whole day.
I was packed off to an "excellent" school 30 mins drive away but with a long bus route plus all the extra travel 10 hour ish day. It was too much at 11 and I really struggled. Plus as others have said friends were miles away (what if best friend is 30 mins the other side of school?!)
A really local school that's good is a great choice and I would try and make up for the gaps through clubs etc. Or perhaps she can try different sports and creative outlets too?

Yes, this is true and pretty much the situation where I live, but I think that a long journey to school when it's your only option and everyone else is doing it too is rather different to a long journey to school when there's a school down the road which the vast majority of local kids attend.
My DC travelled 20 miles/30 mins by bus to school and there were others at their school with much longer journeys. In our area that's common and because so many live a long way away you don't get the situation where a friendship group spontaneously decides to go into town after school but only one can't go because they'll miss the bus, or where everyone is walking to someone's birthday party on a Friday night but just one has to ask their parents to bring them. Most of the pupils have friends spread over a large area which yes, can be a bit of a pain in the backside, but pretty much everyone is in the same boat, nobody is ever the odd one out because they don't live near school. Nor are they distanced from the kids from home because more or less everyone from the same villages will be going to the same school on the same bus. And if that bus is late, can't get through, breaks down or whatever they are at least with a big bunch of other pupils from the same area and families rally round to help. If you're late because the bus is late, so are 60 others and school know it's genuine (the bus company usually phones in fact). If you want to stay after school for an activity there's a good chance that others who live near you are staying for something too so you can lift share or get a bus together.
I think that is very different from being a lone traveller every day, who potentially can't join in out of school activities with their classmates because they live too far away but is also likely to become isolated from local friends because they're all together at school.
If there is a reasonable number of children who travel from your area to the school and it takes quite a lot of pupils from outside the immediate area it could be a good choice OP. But if your DD is likely to be one of very few in that situation I'd be wary. If she does go there I think you need to be prepared to invest quite a lot of time and energy to facilitate her friendships and out of school interests. That's something that as a rural parent I have lots of experience of, but at least I had other families in the same position to share the load with and it was both expected and unavoidable.I'm not sure it's a position I would have put my children or myself in if there was a decent school on the doorstep. Or at least the benefits of the distant school would have to have been significant.

Thanks so much all, lots to think about and I’m now leaning more towards school one after reading all your posts. Quite a few points I hadn’t considered so am very glad I posted