Family heirlooms oak table

[Needacupofteaandcrackers]

we have inherited an large oak table it’s old fashioned and big, we have no space for it. But I feel bad not keeping for the family 🫣

its always hard to part with things that have sentimental value but if its too big or of no use then maybe it is better to be rehomed

I have a similar situation. Sole beneficiary. I've sold it on eBay because I have nowhere to put it, to family complaints that I've sold it too cheap, but literally nowhere I tried were interested as it's not a type of wood which is in fashion right now. Not sure what else I could have done with it and as far as I'm concerned it's not the family's business unless anyone else wanted it (which strangely enough they didn't).

Unfortunately you have to be quite cold hearted with these things. It's hard, but it's the only way to get things done.

I ended up with a dining table from my great grandmothers house, which had originally been in my parents until they moved 10 or 15 years ago. Fortunately it was of the type where both leaves folded and it could be just sued a side table, which it was for many years by them and me. Eventually I decided to get rid of it, because no one in the family wanted it. Although they didn’t want it to go either! I sold it cheaply on Facebook marketplace in the end - I couldn’t bear to just dump it. But the couple who bought it were lovely, and excited about how they were going to upcycle it. So I was happy that, for the first time in, what, 40 years it was actually going to be used as a table again. A much better home for it :)

If there are other family members then offer it to them. Otherwise, get rid of it. Hopefully it will get a new home where someone will be able to use it. It is hard giving things like that away but sometimes necessary.

In a similar situation, I had a local carpenter fashion a box from the timber in which I now keep mementoes of my loved one but I do appreciate that had a cost. Have you a local ManShed that might be glad of it in exchange for something similar..a needlework box perhaps?

I looked on eBay randomly once, it wasn’t my habit. There was my grandparents dining table that my cousin was selling. I still don’t know why.

I am looking at moving on my own lounge suite that has been in my family probably since 1932.

It happens. Life moves on.

You are not responsible for objects other people have a sentimental attachment to - the memories and sentiments are theirs, not yours, so why should you be lumbered with housing a fugly oversized thing you don’t want or need?

That may sound cold, especially if the person who’s willed it to you has done so out of love for you as well as for the table, but ultimately it’s madness to let other people dictate what’s in your home (said has someone who’s spent a lifetime fending off ‘family’ stuff). And you can’t guarantee what’ll happen to it when you’re gone, especially if no one else in your family wants or has space for it. At some point it’ll inevitably be rehomed, so just bite the bullet now.

I’d give other family members the opportunity to take it if they wish, and if there’s no interest then sell it and use the money to buy something that you love, which will remind you of your relative whenever you use/wear/look at it.

If it’s very hard for you to let go without guilt, try the Kondo method, where you take a bit of time to fully appreciate the object and think about the person who gave it to you, and let it go with gratitude for its service and the hope it’ll have a new life being loved and appreciated by someone else. Sounds like a right load of nonsense written down, but psychologically it’s quite a useful technique for freeing yourself of that horrible feeling of obligation when getting rid of gifts and inheritances.

We’ve had this sort of thing in my family. Offer it round as widely as possible. Explain that you won’t be keeping it but if anyone else would like it they are welcome to it.

It doesn’t owe you anything and you don’t need to carry its burden if it’s not working out for you. I’m sure the relative wouldn’t want that

The Life Laundry lady would say: "These are not YOUR memories." Marie Kondo would say something about If it doesn't fit your current life then thank it and send it on to its next stage.

I'd say that an heirloom used to have a definite meaning in law. If you don't have a family estate that this chattel can be attached to then it's just someone's old stuff. It's value now it is precisely its value to you at this very second.