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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex dp just phoned 'when am i picking ds up -

18 replies

itbird · 31/05/2008 18:15

He collected him from me this morning at 10.30 didnt take his car seat as they were going out on a train, he called at 4pm - i was out - he wanted to drop him back then i said not possible - he said about he had no car seat so couldnt drop him back, i think i said oh well or suchlike- anyways he just called demanding that i collect him as he had no car seat, he has a booster as he is nearly four so i big cushion would suffice in an emergency, he said ' cant you do anything' well i laughed farkin cheek of it. he sees him once a month if ds is lucky. waiting for him to turn up and trying to hold my anger together as he is such an abusive person who has not respect for me - sorry for the rant but i have had enough one afternoon off and i am accused of malingering!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 31/05/2008 18:18

oh yeah and he pays the princely sum of 80 misreable pounds a month - and does zilch. I work and look after two children alone - i could happily murder him

OP posts:
charliecat · 31/05/2008 18:21

and breathe.......I can see why you are angry. but had he not used a car seat and brought him home would you be annoyed about that? ( I know I would)
Its not just this its the whole bloody thing added in and stirred isnt it...so no...YANBU

Earlybird · 31/05/2008 18:23

Sounds like a prize twonk - you're well rid of him. For your ds' sake though, I'd try to keep things pleasant at handover. Don't let your ex bait you, or provoke you. An argument/scene will only stress your ds, and any positive value he may have got from the time with his dad will be compromised.

Just be glad this 'winner' is no longer in your life.

posieflump · 31/05/2008 18:24

My first thought is to feel sorry for your ds tbh
Hope he didn't hear the conversation as it sounds like 'I don't want him come and get him', 'I'm not coming you bring him back' which for a 3 year old would be very sad to hear... sorry but I think yabu

NotABanana · 31/05/2008 18:29

It wasn't an emergency though, was it?

mankymummy · 31/05/2008 18:37

well i have to hand it to you, i thought my ex was a twat but yours sounds on a par.

dont let it wind you up. and dont give in, if he's anything like my ex give him an inch and he'll take a galaxy!

btw what time was he supposed to drop him off?

Original poster
itbird · 31/05/2008 18:47

Well girls he has brought him back, i did not shout or holler just politley requested that he did not talk to me like he did, in exceptional circumstances bearing in mnd that i have no breaks from the children other than when i am at work an afternoon spent doing things like catching up on laundry etc ( we have just come back from a weeks camping holiday) is precious to me and i think i deserve a little me time. It wasnt an emergency it was a logistical problem that he has to sort out himself not me - he choose not to drive here this morning, he normally does, so he should think things through and not accuse me of doing zilch. I hardly call him up if i have a problem day to day as i am able to sort my probs out.

Anyway he is a loser and thats that!!

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 31/05/2008 18:56

wasnt given a time when he would be returned

OP posts:
mankymummy · 31/05/2008 19:46

maybe you need to put some boundaries down...

i had to, my ex otherwise was turning up to the house, asking me for breakfast, doing f all with DS and then leaving the house in a tip, not to mention seeing him every week for a bit then not for 3 months because it suited him.

now he comes once a month and has him for set days and times... much better for DS and for me !

well done for dealing with it so calmly though.

how old are your dc's? did they have a nice time with him?

kiskideesameanoldmother · 31/05/2008 19:54

setting rules should therefore include: you take him from the doorstep, you bring him back to the doorstep.

hope your evening improves.

Judy1234 · 31/05/2008 20:35

Mine has never had all 5 in 5 years so it could be worse I suppose but the real problem is the law - that it does not force men to help with the children, that it gives men a right to apply to court to get contact but gives the children no rights whatsoever to force the man to look after them.

raisinbran · 31/05/2008 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

raisinbran · 01/06/2008 02:35

I must apologise, I think my son must have typed above when I left this thread up on the screen. I hope he didn't realise what he was doing but he is about to be grounded big time when I speak to him in the morning.
I dont know how to withdraw the previous posting. I am just so shocked and sorry if any offense has been caused.

hellish · 01/06/2008 03:11

lol rasin, how old is your son?

bigknickersbigknockers · 01/06/2008 08:21

lol at raisins son,

raisinbran · 01/06/2008 12:59

Hellish Ds wil be 10 next month.What's worse he is denying he did it. He could be a lawyer with all the excuses he has come out with.
I am not even divorced yet and my son is going off the rails.....

sillybillybee · 01/06/2008 13:09

raisin if you want the post deleting, click the red exclamation mark and ask MNHQ to remove it. HTH

raisinbran · 01/06/2008 21:40

Thank you I have just done it.

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