Weird behaviour with Dh and work colleague

[lorryandlaurie]

Dh once talked very fondly of his boss and that she was nice and understanding as opposed to his other male boss who he described as an arrogant arsehole.

He would often mention her in conversation or tell me about something they talked about at work and when we had our child he took the baby in specifically for her to see as she’d been out on the day he went in and had wanted to meet them.

Fast forward a year and he never mentions her and talks about how cliquey it is with her and other people and how he doesn’t get the preferential treatment that the favourites get.

AIBU to think something might have gone on with them before as it sounds like they were once really close and he would often mention her and now he doesn’t mention her at all and I notice he doesn’t say her name anymore to me just her/she or my boss instead.

Possibly but something has happened meaning he no longer likes her. It could be purely professional.

Perhaps she is a bad boss who frequently has favourites and he has fallen out of it.

Perhaps taking your baby specifically to see her was a way of trying to ingratiate himself to her.

If youre having an affair you dont tend to take in the new baby you just had to meet your affair partner.

It could easily be something work related. He liked her when he was one of the favourites, now he's been usurped by a new gang of favourites and feels hard done by. Some bosses are like that, they pick people then move on to someone else. I wouldn't leap to the notion of an affair gone sour.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds familiar! Like the above poster said - you don’t normally take your baby in to work to meet your work affair!

It sounds like maybe he had a little crush on her last year (the constant mentions would have annoyed me). And now he doesn’t for whatever reason.

She sounds like maybe she had favourites and now he’s out of favour.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds familiar! Like the above poster said - you don’t normally take your baby in to work to meet your work affair!

It sounds like maybe he had a little crush on her last year (the constant mentions would have annoyed me). And now he doesn’t for whatever reason.

She sounds like maybe she had favourites and now he’s out of favour.

I was going to ask the same as @Delatron as to whether you posted about this last year because I certainly remember the scenario of him taking the baby in specifically so she could see the child.
It sounds as though he certainly had a big liking for her. And something must have happened to change his opinion. Perhaps he found out what she was really like.

I don't think you can necessarily jump to conclusions. Perhaps he now doesn't get on with her as well as he did, maybe roles and responsibilities changed slightly and he's not working closely with him, maybe they just don't have chance to catch up anymore. It seems a stretch to say something happened and for that reason he doesn't mention her unless you have other causes for concern like he's increased his hours, he has more nights away, he's glued to his phone and messages her, you've seen receipts where he has gone for a meal with someone other than you etc.

You've posted about this before.

There is nothing that points towards your husband having an affair with this woman. You're being obsessive and weird about this.

YABU

I’ve had a similar experience (a lot of us probably have) where we really like a boss but then something happens and you realise they’re not as nice as you thought they were and they don’t have your back/stab you in the back.

In my old job my line manager was lovely and so supportive.
Until I realised she had been making up false accusations about me because the manager role was coming up and she knew they wanted me to apply for it but she wanted it.

I think you’re being paranoid OP.