Move Y4 daughter from private to state school

[Kelle12]

DD is about to start year 4 at a private school. It’s a struggle financially so we are considering moving her to a local state school. She’s been at said private school since reception and is very attached to friends. She also struggles academically and has benefitted from a small class and a lot of extra attention from teachers. She has a place at a local outstanding primary school but is devastated about moving. I’m worried it will really affect her confidence and set her back academically too. She’s always been sociable but I’ve noticed her withdrawing somewhat over the last year as personalities at existing school change and worry this may be a downward spiral. We could stay at current school and change at secondary but it would be a difficult 3 years financially. She would need to move again for secondary regardless as the school goes to year 6. We’ve also considered moving cities to help reduce living costs and reduce overall stress, and wonder whether we stay put now and make one big move and do it all then (between now and secondary starting) Really struggling with that’s best.

I think moving schools is always unsettling (whether state or private) but the majority of children do adapt really well. Ultimately, I think parents have to make the decision as most children will be reluctant to leave their current school.

isn it too late for this term as you would need to give a term’s notice?

better to change now than at a time when puberty will be knocking on the door and there will be the turmoil of settling into high school and at an age when friendships are more important.

It sounds as if she is always going to find the move difficult, not surprisingly.

If you move schools now, are you likely to be able to stay where you are in the same city? Or are the financial struggles more definitive than that - you almost certainly will need to move cities?

I came on here to argue for moving in yr 4 but I’m wondering now. There’s definitely a strong argument for doing the whole move for secondary. But a bit scary trying to do the secondary school choice very late on in a new place - you’d risk not getting a place a school you’d like.

I still think I would go for moving now, overall. Have an early talk to the new teacher and go all out with play invitations etc to build relationships in the new class.

I was taken out of private school and sent to our local village primary at exactly the same age. It was fine and I made new friends that lived in our village . Academically I was not affected and my best friend I made at primary is still a very close friend now..50 years later. I also still dog walk a friend from private school .

Make the change now while she can find her feet in the state system and get used to the bigger classes, plus developer cohort of friends so that when she moves for senior school she knows some faces in her next place

Use some of the money you’ve saved to get her a tutor (tutorful.co.uk) and to invest in after school hobbies.

If she is going to have to go to a state secondary with big classes and overall a larger environment, I would move her primary school now as well. Being in a bigger class at primary will get her used to being with more children so hopefully then the transition to secondary won't be as hard as going from a small class in a private school.

Socially she should be fine
If she’s struggling academically, i would invest the money you are saving in some 1-2-1 tuition.
We are at a private school, loads of people have gone to state, mainly a handful of outstanding state schools. Some (just under half) have returned to private.
Key feedback from parents we heard (obviously this is regional)

• bullying issues for neurodiverse kids (covering most of the ones who returned to private)
• kids getting disruptive as needs aren’t met (one teacher - 30+ kids…. no resources) - covering the rest of the people returning to private
• less/no challenging as long as kids are within “expected” - can be addressed by more work at home and some tuition (like an hour a week, its primary school!)
• no reliable before/after school care, so people had to change careers/drastically reduce hours (so actually no money saved)

Agree ^