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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to hand me down the nintendo switch from my step son?

39 replies

Slipthroughthenet · 31/08/2025 21:39

My step son (11) has grown tired of his old nintendo switch since getting a phone and he said he was going to leave it at our house (lives between us and his mum).
My DP, his dad, who originally paid for the console suggested he could sell it. (He is going through a phase of trying to teach him about finances, earning money, saving etc). My step son seemed interested in the idea. I was in the vicinity and at the same time as this was being said i said what if i would like to use it or could we keep it to hand on to my children when they are ready for a console (currently 4 and 1).
Now my DP and step son are making the suggestion i should buy the console from step son. i’ve been an active part of his life for 7 years and have, I perceive, to have been generous with, more often than not saying yes to his requests such as giving him my old kindle, letting him various possessions and things of mine that he takes a shine to over the years. But admittedly probably not to something or this monetary value. Now my DP is suggesting i offer a price to my step son to negotiate.
My DP said he would in his family buy things from his older brother such as a console, a bike, a car.
In my mind I feel for an 11 year old who was originally given it as a gift, if he is no longer interested in it it should be fair game for a hand me down? in my family we would hand me down consoles from my older sister to me. or surely if anyone would sell it it would be his dad who paid for it then to get some money back to contribute to the next expensive electronic item that a preteen might have on his radar. But if other people in the family want it and have a need for it wouldn’t it make more sense to just keep it? For reference the bundle is worth about £150-200. I feel it is just worth more being kept in the family. maybe if he was a bit older like 16 and put his own money in to buy it, it would make more sense to me? I don’t know it just feels weird. AIBU?

OP posts:

TortoiseMantle · 01/09/2025 00:03

Just let the lad sell it. You don’t really want it, your kids aren’t interested, what’s the problem?

FenywHysbys · 01/09/2025 00:10

I’ve just bought a MacBook off my eldest to give to my youngest - good price as well!

DiscoBob · 01/09/2025 00:14

It belongs to him. Why should you get to take it off him for your children far in the future? He said he wants to sell it. He wants the money now. Which is totally reasonable. So what that he's 11. He can still own personal property and decide what to do with it.

A four and one year old won't need an out of date Switch anyway by the time they're old enough.

Just get them a second hand one if and when they express an interest in owning a Switch. If such a thing even still exists at that point.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/09/2025 00:18

He can make money from it.

It'll be a long time before your DC are interested in it, It'll lose value.
I'd let him sell it.

Wearingmycrown · 05/09/2025 04:23

There is a new switch out now so the old one isn’t going to be worth as much as your DP thinks it will be. I wouldn’t be to quick to introduce these games to your kids either as it’s the worse thing I’ve ever bought my children. So in short I’d let them sell it & buy your kids the new one when the time comes. It’s not worth the argument I don’t think either of you is right or wrong, he is just trying to show his son the benefit of not being wasteful & discarding his belongings. It’s nothing to get upset about

dammit88 · 05/09/2025 05:46

Laura95167 · 31/08/2025 21:52

I think YABU because a 4 and 1 year old have no interest in a switch. So it would be you playing it..

As an adult i think you should offer DSS a fair price for it, look at cash converters or eBay sold prices and use that as a guide. Additionally this is DSSs item so really its on him to keep it sell it or gift it as he likes.

I may have agreed more with you if DC were 7 or 8 and interested in it. That if he didnt want it he could give it to a younger sibling.

But defo think you wanting his tech for free for a child who wont touch it for at least 2 years is unreasonable

I agree with this - generally I would agree with you but the age gap is too big here and I think your partner is trying to teach SS a good lesson too so I wouldn't argue on this occasion.

ItsNotMeEither · 05/09/2025 06:28

Our family doesn't sell or pass down items like this, we keep them all :-)

Our adult children have all moved out, we must have at least 4 different games consoles (plus plenty of hand held games). At Christmas, they will still drag out the old Nintendo 64 and play games together (all fully functioning, working adults). I know two of them own a switch, one upgraded to the latest. They don't do a lot of gaming at home, but will take it with them when travelling for work, as something to do in the hotel at night.

I can't imagine an 11 year old outgrowing a switch.

As other have said, it's what you and your DP have grown up with, neither right or wrong. Nuy your kids the new one, as a family gift, when they're old enough, then, keep it forever. My way 😂

MaybeItsNotReal · 05/09/2025 07:02

My kids always used to trade in their old consoles to buy new games etc
It's his and he could get money from trading it in, so yes you should offer him some cash for it.

Minnie798 · 05/09/2025 07:44

It makes more sense for him to sell it for use now. It's just going to sit gathering dust, losing more value at your house. By the time your dc are interested, it will be dated.

brunettemic · 05/09/2025 07:51

Slipthroughthenet · 31/08/2025 23:20

This was the culture I was brought up in, if an item is gathering dust you suggest to the child to pass the old thing forward when they get a new interesting toy, it’s part of the motivation and perk of them getting new things especially when they are the first born and usually get newer items.
i think the assumptions in a lot of the comments above are that it’s possible to afford without a stretch new consoles for all the children. there’s an argument for cost saving and resource conservation within a family. also i don’t think it sends a good message about consumerism and the push of individualism goes a bit far. he is receiving many gifts from us, why shouldn’t we be encouraging him to also continue to flow? They are his siblings and that does mean something; i am by no means stating that he is obligated to pass things on but having a sibling does also have some meaning. to clarify, of course he can do what he wants with it, it is his and he owns it, it is not my step son who i’m questioning is being unreasonable by any stretch- of course an 11 year old if presented with the option of passing something on or selling it will choose to sell it; but he had no instinct to do this at all until it was suggested to him. if it had been suggested to him first to pass it on to the next child considering he has just got a new phone and is likely to get a new console at some point this year he would have happily just gone down that route. i question what was unreasonable is why would the first instinct of my DP not be to suggest he share it or return it so we could contribute to his new items in future if he no longer wants it, given there are other children. for the cost that it was originally paid for it and what it would get back second hand from a family finance perspective this makes most sense.
Also for commenters who are saying the console will be too old, and the children won’t use it, my DD is almost 5 and so it would probably be fine in around year for her, and we wouldn’t want her getting something too shiny and new an older console would be more ideal so she can get a few dings on it.

Show quote history

So how is the culture you were brought up in right and the culture DP was alluding to wrong?

It’s his switch, he can do what he wants with it. My DS sold his original switch to DD so he could upgrade his own. If he hasn’t sold it to his sister he’d have traded it in and used that to part fund the upgrade. Thats a very good lesson and financial sense.

I assume if you’re getting a new car at some point that you’ll happily gift it to someone rather than use it as trade in to part finance a new car? If not, why not?

CurlewKate · 05/09/2025 07:56

In my family we have personal possessions and family possessions. Something like a switch would be a personal posession and the owner would get the money if he sold it. Something like a Wii, or whatever the current version is would be a family possession and no one person would benefit from sell in f it.

NeedyDenimQuail · 05/09/2025 08:12

You’ve already been generous with your possessions toward your stepson, so it feels a bit one-sided that you’d suddenly be expected to pay.

The real tension here isn’t about the Switch itself — it’s about which family “norm” applies. Your DP is applying his childhood model (buying/selling between siblings), and you’re applying yours (hand-me-downs). Both are valid, but you’ll need to agree on what works going forward for your blended family.

FourIsNewSix · 05/09/2025 08:15

I was brought up in a "gift for you, but it is a family who owns it" and it was uncomfortable in a way that I'd never felt I really own something enough to take a board game outside of home (and risk losing parts when playing with friends) or exchange a book with my schoolmates.

You'll need to find together with your DP a system which will work with all three children.
Let him sell it, but

if he is old enough to sell, maybe is old enough to contribute to buying the next thing.
hand me down agreement can be seen as a contribution?

Fangisnotacoward · 05/09/2025 08:19

He should sell it. The switch is an old console now, by the time your children are ready for it it'll be even older.

That said, there would still be plenty of games and stuff, and could be worth considering so your kids dont have something brand new in case they dont really get into gaming so you've not wasted loads of money on new. Plus the switch will have lots of age appropriate games. However, you should offer him some money. Consoles are expensive, its not like a book or toy thats barley worth selling.

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