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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have drunk his cider?

36 replies

summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:11

I was planning to have a couple of ciders tonight but forgot it was Sunday and the shop was closed so I looked in the fridge and saw a bunch of of ciders and I looked on top of the fridge and saw a crate of ciders.

Realising I would probably pay more at the coop I decided to drink 2 of the ciders in the fridge which could easily be replaced.
DH is now really angry at me for stealing the cider that he was not going to drink tonight anyway.
AIBU to think as a married couple I should not be accused of theft over this?
I have not even drank the second one as he moaned at me having seen I poured it so I have left it on the side and gone to bed.

OP posts:
PlanetOtter · 31/08/2025 21:17

That’s a crazy set up. Do you have his n hers cornflakes / bread / chicken nuggets too?

Original poster
summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:18

PlanetOtter · 31/08/2025 21:17

That’s a crazy set up. Do you have his n hers cornflakes / bread / chicken nuggets too?

No not at all, that’s why I was so surprised at his reaction after 15 years of marriage

OP posts:
Gc1992 · 31/08/2025 21:20

A bit mardy and immature especially if he still had ciders in the fridge for tonight. If you drank the only cold ones and didn’t replace them then I can understand him being a bit annoyed but nothing more than that. Definitely not accusing you of theft! Him being angry about a few drinks is a bit much.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/08/2025 21:23

That sounds ridiculous of him. I can understand him being annoyed perhaps if you didn’t replace the cold ciders by putting two more from the crate into the fridge. But he shouldn’t be annoyed at you having any unless these ciders were special in some way.

AbzMoz · 31/08/2025 21:23

Not excusing it but are they speciality ones? We have normal drinks but also eg craft beers we’ve picked up from specialist breweries or ciders from certain trips. These are quite obvious tho and we each would ask if we fancied one / wanted to share it.

There is still a communication /childish sulking problem.

Original poster
summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:26

AbzMoz · 31/08/2025 21:23

Not excusing it but are they speciality ones? We have normal drinks but also eg craft beers we’ve picked up from specialist breweries or ciders from certain trips. These are quite obvious tho and we each would ask if we fancied one / wanted to share it.

There is still a communication /childish sulking problem.

It’s cans of fruit strongbow.

OP posts:
Original poster
summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:31

He’s tipped it away now and come to bed accusing me of being ridiculous for going to bed and not drinking the drink after I poured it and he moaned at me. I just wanted to relax with a drink after a busy day but he took the shine off with his reaction.

OP posts:
FlatErica · 31/08/2025 21:36

Sorry to be he one to break it to you, but your husband is a dickhead.

AbzMoz · 31/08/2025 21:37

What an absurd reaction. Why is the cider his by default? Or did he not want you to have a drink? I’d be somewhere between baffled and pissed off.

Original poster
summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:40

AbzMoz · 31/08/2025 21:37

What an absurd reaction. Why is the cider his by default? Or did he not want you to have a drink? I’d be somewhere between baffled and pissed off.

Because he bought it so it’s his. We share a bank account so if I want some I should buy my own.

OP posts:
over50andfab · 31/08/2025 21:41

The way the post is written, it looks like you buy your alcohol separately. DH plans ahead, buys cider in advance, keeping some in the fridge for when he’d like some so it’s nice and cold. You leave it till last minute, decide you want some, the shop is either shut, or you don’t want to pay coop prices so you decide to help yourself to the cold ones in the fridge. You could have perhaps asked him first, and whether he was planning to drink them or not, not communicating or having form for doing this sounds like the issue.
Childish and wasteful to leave the 2nd one poured and go to bed.

MyAcornWood · 31/08/2025 21:43

This is completely bizarre. If they were a special make, or a gift, or there was only one left, I could kind of understand his reaction a little more, but it would still be unreasonable to throw such a strop imo but an abundance of cheap cider and this is how he reacts over it?! He’s a twat.

AbzMoz · 31/08/2025 21:46

summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 21:40

Because he bought it so it’s his. We share a bank account so if I want some I should buy my own.

Show quote history

After 15 years!? Realistically, this is about £2 worth of drink - hardly even worth remarking on much less stropping about! Why spoil the evening?!

dogcatkitten · 31/08/2025 21:47

You should have just said you would replace them, were the ones in the fridge a special type? It doesn't seem like you pinched his cold ones if he didn't even want one. Buy your own in future and don't let him have anything of yours, like a sweet or a bit of chocolate or a biscuit.

rbe78 · 31/08/2025 22:04

This has got to be about more than just the cider. It sounds like you share bank accounts, food etc. (like a normal married couple) usually, so what has triggered such a weird and unpleasant reaction from your husband tonight?

No point pushing it tonight, at ten pm when you're both grumpy it will likely just turn into a fight - but perhaps explain tomorrow that you were really shocked by his reaction, and try to get him to explain what was behind it. Maybe there are other things you guys need to talk about and try and sort out, and cider-gate is just a symptom.

(Or he might just be a dickhead...)

ScrambledEggs12 · 31/08/2025 22:07

My partner once ate my last Easter Egg. But it was after Easter and I couldn't buy any more, so that was a bit different. I never got over it though.

Original poster
summertimesummershine · 31/08/2025 22:10

Anything he buys is for him and him only but anything I buy is for the family so it’s just about it belonging to him

OP posts:
ANiceBigCupOfTea · 31/08/2025 22:22

Eugh my dad acted like this growing up. If we drank his juice or ate 'his' food he would strop with us all and it was such a crap atmosphere.
I literally could not get worked up about my DH eating or drinking something. I always have chocolate in because I crave it something shocking in the days before and on my period and it's the only thing that's really 'mine' but I'd still never be annoyed if he ate it. It's just chocolate. Not being safe to eat food/drink drinks in your own home is gross.

RubyMentor · 31/08/2025 22:28

He bought the ciders out of a joint account, there is a crate of cider left and he’s giving you a hard time because you drunk 2 and he’s wasn’t intending to drink them? That’s wired behaviour 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yoir husband is a knob!

PinkButterfly56 · 31/08/2025 22:30

What kind of relationships do people have 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it wouldn't even occur to be to ask if I could have one I'd just take it if there was a whole bunch in the fridge. Maybe different if it was the last one or something special. Honestly but a label maker and start putting your name on what is yours

GlastoNinja · 31/08/2025 22:34

Your husband is a nobhead

but also (and I say this semi lightly heartedly because of the actual subject of the thread) cider is made of apples, all other fruit cider is an abomination

Thepossibility · 31/08/2025 22:34

He's a dickhead. I'd be tempted to be petty and start claiming everything I've bought in the house is mine. Just following his lead, isn't it?

AmyDuPlantier · 31/08/2025 22:38

My husband did exactly this to me earlier this year, so out of character for him. We’re separating now….

FleetFootedJanet · 31/08/2025 22:40

Go round the kitchen and write your name
on everything that you paid for or that is “yours”.

When he asks what you’re doing, tell him that’s what you assumed your new arrangements were.

kittenkipping · 31/08/2025 23:19

Yanbu. What an awful person your husband is. I’m sorry for you op. It’s hard living with selfishness.