To have the right hump?

[GumsAndRoses]

To cut a long story short, ex dh and I divorced in 2000, he is with a partner and I remarried in 2002.

He has nothing to do with our youngest Dd now 12 since we split up, has not seen her or shown an interest in her, does not pay maintenance, send b/day or xmas cards/pressies.

Dd by her own choice uses my married name at school, has done for ages, everyone knows her by this name not her birth name.

She needs a passport and wants it in Step Dads name, exH refuses to give permission and said see you in court!! oh but he says he wont go to court, just send his solicitor!!

Am so angry that he wont let her do what she wants, but refuses to be a Dad to her.

We have thought about step parent adoption, but have never felt the need to pursue it, she is ours (mine and Dh's)in every way, apart from the name, which bugs her more than us, but as posted by others, it is just a name and when I think about it, it wont change the person she is.

If she really wants to change it, then I will go to court for her, but if I can get her to wait until she can do it herself then she may get some closure on what must be a distressing situation for her.

problem with adoption is that you ex would still have to agree I think. Perhaps your dd could take her Dad to court over the name - then she would get legal aid?

You have all given me a lot to think about, I will sit down with Dd and talk about all the options we have.

Still get so angry with these men, who turn their backs on the children, yet still want to be called or known as a Father, it's almost an "I own her no matter what" attitude, they think its a right that needs no effort or care , but as was mentioned earlier, lets hope karma comes home to roost.