Four months in to new job and heading for burnout.

[JennyWrenSeven]

Previous role 17 years, no regrets leaving, toxic environment, awful manager.

New job, 4 months in, public sector. Female manager, micromanaging every move, gives so much work to me and my part time colleague, while our other colleague (mates with the manager) doesn’t get given equal share.

I’m still in my probationary period and I’m heading for burnout. I’m mid 50s, have a chronic condition (which they’re aware of) and I’m in tears most evenings due to the stress of the workload being given. I do not stop throughout the day, 30 mins for lunch, back to it, never stop.

The manager loves to undermine staff, is one of the most toxic people I’ve ever met. You never know which side of her you’re going to be met with each morning. I think I’ve reached breaking point. It takes me the whole weekend to try and switch off as the whole week is so full on and stressful.

I’m not sure what my AIBU is, posting here for traffic. I know I need to leave and I’m constantly looking for other work but I just feel so tired, tired of the Sunday evening dread of facing another week in her company.

I could easily just hand in my notice on Monday and I’ve never felt like that before, not this soon anyway.

She was so different during the interview.

I don’t want to do anything that affects any future potential jobs, I’m worried about this, if I leave I’ll have to explain why. If I stay while job hunting I don’t know when I’ll have the time to attend job interviews!

My head is full of stress and the ‘what ifs’!

Sorry for the rant. Please share any of your experiences and your approach to it and how to cope with it in the meantime.

Heading out in a minute while DH takes me out for a well deserved late lunch, to try and take my mind off work for an hour or two.

You say public sector so I’m going to hazard a wild guess that it’s NHS?

It’s hard work for little return and good colleagues and manager can make all the difference.

Financially can you leave? Could you move sideways at all?

I’m a list person. Make up two: stay vrs go.

How easy is it to find another job?
How long do you think that will take?
Do you have a financial buffer?

Depending on the answers will determine if you look for another job before handing in your notice.

It’s not NHS but a very similar culture.

I’m constantly on the LA job site searching but similar roles are few and far between.

Unfortunately I don’t have a financial buffer but could look at accessing my pension, possibly releasing a small amount to tide me by until I kind find something else.

If you want/need to stay in the job I would get your little ducks in line. Document every task you do each day, with timings if possible. Document every piece of work she's allocated to you. Take your full lunch break, AWAY FROM YOUR DESK, every day, go for a walk with your packed lunch - this will help you get your head straight fit the afternoon. If anyone challenges you about it just say your GP has recommended it for health reasons. Do whatever you can in your 8 hours, then leave. You do not have to bust a gut to finish work that is really over & above what you should be doing.

Don’t dip into your pension. Start looking and only move with a job in hand. If you know you are going to leave, you can let everything she says wash over you.

Get started now so you feel you have already made some progress.

I’m in a similar position. Really need to leave but will piss off an awful lot of people if I do so.

I left a toxic public sector role (and posted about it). Similar conditions: an awful boss and culture made it impossible for me to stay. I was taking the stress home with me.

I would advise you to look into your sick leave entitlement and speak to a GP, at least in the short term. This will buy you some breathing space to look at different jobs or financial options that could tie you over for a few months.

No one should feel this bad because of work, OP. Look after yourself first. People will talk whatever you do.

Here’s how I am coping with a similar situation until I can get out.

1. applying for every single job I can.
2. document all asks, keep a list of ongoing tasks so I can evidence when I don’t have additional capacity
3. work my 7.5 hours and take my full lunchhour - and I never explain why or justify it.
4. i don’t have Teams or anything on my personal phone - when I am not at work I am NOT at work.

It sucks but just keep going til you get out!

Each and everyone of your replies have helped, thank you.

I have genuinely felt like I am cracking up. I’m struggling. At 55 I NEVER expected to feel this way.

I’m hoping I will find a way out of this hellhole.

I’m constantly searching for any local jib right now, just to escape. My mental wellbeing means so much more.

You are not alone op. I seem to lurch from one crap workplace to another ! I'm currently desperate to resign but will leave my department in a right mess if I do as I do the vast majority of the work and am the only one with certain skills that the department relies on. I'm going to give it a couple more months and if it's still so bad I'm going to look at cashing in a small lump sum pension to tide me over. I hope things get better for you soon.

@JennyWrenSeven Start to look for a new job by updating your CV and sending it to a few recruitment agencies. Do you have transferable skills that can easily work in a different sector to the one you're currently in?

Look outside your industry and see where your skills are in need. For example, if you work in finance or admin then those skills aren't sector specific so you can work in either public or commercial sectors. This approach will help widen the net to more suitable jobs.

https://www.jobs.ac.uk/

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs

https://www.uksport.gov.uk/jobs-in-sport/search-all-vacancies?tags=176|164&sort=r

https://www.womeninfootball.co.uk/jobs-and-courses/

https://jobs.theguardian.com/jobs/

Thank you so much for taking the time to share these links 🙏🏻

I will no doubt be up at 4-5am (due to my rubbish sleep pattern) and will take a look.

I’m wondering if it’s my age, is it!? I feel like I’m cracking up.

I’m hardly sleeping, hence why I’m still posting now at 1am and with work in the morning!

17 years in a role will not make you look like a job hopper and looking elsewhere after 4 months in this job means you gave it a chance despite knowing this wasn't for you. I have faith in you OP.

Thank you, this really does help and put everything into perspective.

I’ve had every bit of confidence chipped away in the past 4 months.

I’m going to start this tomorrow, it’s something I need to do.

I have notes of procedures spilling out from everywhere, now I need to start noting down everything I do within the 8 hours I’m there.

I do try and leave my work station for at least 20 minutes during lunch, otherwise I still check my emails etc.

Solidarity, I am in a similar job aged 51, made the jump nearly 2 years ago and regret.it.

What happened with me was my useless manager pushed me too far. Constant negativity and criticism. Literally said the only good thing about me was that I turned up and was conscientious.

I called him out, I said that due to him not valuing my work, that it seemed we had reached the end of the line and there was no value in me staying in the role and continuing the relationship with the organisation.

He looked amazed, backtracked, and we never spoke of it again. Something shifted though, and the barrage of criticism blame and negativity has abated somewhat.

These types are awful, but they are canny enough to realise that you do a shit ton of work and they don’t actually want you to leave. They are weak managers with no people skills and likely promoted above their competence.

i continue to apply elsewhere but the job market is appalling and competition for what roles there are is fierce.

Don’t mean to be patronising and maybe something you are already on top of - but are you on HRT? And if you are, are the levels right?

Your job sounds shit but the self doubt / not trusting yourself/ crap sleep could be affected by menopause.

Now you know it is temporary, let it wash over you as much as possible. Not your circus not your monkeys. Do your job in your hours and then leave. Do something healthy for you to clear your head (read a book, sing loudly in the car, go for a walk etc…) Then plug away at finding a new job while playing your “fuck you” song at high volume.

(I like Rachel Pattene’s Fight Song)

You are in local government so in a sector with strong procedures for raising grievances. First of all, jpin the union if you aren't already in it. Document your workload and instances of bad behavious/biullying from your manager. Raise a grievance with union support once you have evidence.

In the meantime;

1. Take your full lunch break way from your desk.

2 See yiur GP about support with menopause if you think that might help. 3 cast your job search wider than LA. You have transferable skills. 4 As last resort, get signed off with stress if it is that bad. Make sure GP puts cause as 'work related stress'. LA sick pay is one of the strengths of working in LA,!