to wonder why there's never been a thread on people who keep having children when they are on a low income?

[shitstirrerstirsthefinestshit]

Not a judgement on my part, I must stress.

But given we always seem to have people attacking the choices of those who are SAHM/WOHM I realised we don't tend to have threads one here about those on low-incomes who have a few children.

Why do we think this is?

Oh there has been.

I started one unintentionally once when I was having a whinge about the fact I could not afford any more children.

yeah been loads of them

Just seen your name, I think my reply was a waste of time or I have unintenionally entered a wind up.

not a judgement on my part - yeah, right

Well, personally I think those people earning under let's say, 30.000 should be forcibley sterilised.

not

Sorry, I'm the OP, forgot to change my name back from a previous thread. Was a genuine question. Perhaps we have had them on here then.

I just keep noticing the old SAHM/WOHM argument coming up. But in RL I often here "why have children if you can't afford them". It was a genuine observation that there doesn't seem to be much of that on here. I genuinely wondered why that was.

(I think it's a good thing we don't have these kind of attacks, btw, and yes rubyslippers, I don't hold that opinion myself.

but then how does one define being able to "afford" them? Should people be completely denied the chance to have children because they don't have enough money (suppose it would curb the worlds population problems ).

I don't know FAQ. Like I say, it's not an opinion I hold myself, but I hear it bandied about a lot in RL. That's why I'm surprised I haven't heard it discussed on here.

Of course it does depend on what you mean by afford and how much you really want the children. There are other factors in my case and I suspect I just don't want children enough to make the scarifices necessary.

If I were to carry on working I could afford more children but I would like dp or I to be at home and we can't afford to do that. Well actually we could but we don;t want to make those scarifices

I don't think people should have more children than they can afford to support themselves (if they're able to work). Like that man the other week whose family is on benefits, living in a small, dirty house and his wife's just had their 11th baby. And he wants more.

FAQ, surely most people can afford to have an average-sized family, so they wouldn't be dnied the chance to be parents.
It's when it's getting to six- seven, eight or even more children and the parents have no means of supporting all the additional children. That's when it's taking the piss.
I'm not saying there should be a Government-imposed limit on family size but people should be a bit sensible about it.

I don;t think most people could afford to have an average size family that they support themselves.

Butterkist?...

Butterkist?...

ra ra ra anyone?

I can't afford butterkist, will asda's own do?

for the OP's question, I reckon it is because, quite rightly, there would be far too much anger as many here would feel very very judged. there are many women here who are on benefits, and they would feel slated and demorilised for their choices over how many children they have.

however

it does make me cross when I hear of the ((thankfully very few)) families who have baby after baby, all the time on benefits and not making any effort to support their family in any way.

I personally know of one family who have just had their 13th baby, neither work as they both claim they are disabled and yet I see absolutely no sign of said disability (dad says he has a back problem yet goes out on his bike and gardens and does cars etc, mum says she suffers permentant PND!). they have spoken of their desire for a bigger house, and personally said to me once that they will have more babies until the council gives them said bigger house.

now, that makes me mad, but then, is it the family;s fault for having no bigger ambition in life than the one they live, or the government for allowing such families to occur???

this is the extreme I know........99% of people on benefits are on them to allow them to still have a fairly decent standard of living while still working, as we all know that many wages are under the decent amount that we all require simply to exhist...and it is our right also to be able to have a family, but sometimes, people do take the piss, and it is so unfair as it then rubs off badly on those who are not....IYGWIM.

BUT

it is not for any of us really to judge others, until we live their lives........

I think if we all sat down and worked it out financially before having children, none of us would think we could afford children. They are bloody expensive, so as parents we do our best and make sacrifies if need be.

Ther have been hundreds

They all elicit a sense of deja vu

Affordability is all relative, what I may say my family can afford on the exact same income, you may say your family can't.

IMHO, It's not really anyone else's business, I do wish people thought more about why they wanted children when they have them, and what it all entails, both financially and emotionally but that's a different story altogether.

Also YABU, there have been quite a few threads, often getting quite heated and offending people.

Makes you wonder how they managed it centuries ago with no social net.
It has to do with what people are willing to sacrifice for the sake of having a big familly.
Just that some people have no morals and will take as much as they can when they can.
The rest of us are far too nice

Yes of course - means tested children - why didn't I think of that?

Seriously though I do think there ought to be some form of course or something which we all have to pass before having children ... I mean years, no decades of formal education and no-one ever got round to teaching me the first thing about babies and children.

The first time I'd ever held a baby was when DD was born. Seriously.

OP obviously felt like reviving the topic knowing full well these threads exist - come on, look at their name...

Why is it a problem for people on low-incomes to have children. Are they asking you to pay for them?

bearmama, OP has said she had namechanged for something else, she is actually freddysteddy

Quattro, at my secondary school they taught us how to cook and how to sew but not how to look after a baby. it was an all-girls school so chances are the vast majority of pupils will have had babies at some point. It should be added to the curriculum.