My husband and his family have a long standing tradition of holidaying to the same place year after year. For extenuating reasons we have not been able to go on this vacation for many years. The last time we went was a particularly challenging trip for me, just before we got married and before we had children (not really feeling accepted into the family, sidelined a lot, opinions not considered). This year we went as we thought it would be nice for the children and is somewhere my husband enjoys. We have decided we don't want it to be a yearly thing as we want to explore other places and we don't want to create the expectation that we will always be there. But we do plan to go again at some point.
After the trip this year I found out his mum was upset that we considered going to a different beach from them one of the days (even though we ended up at "their" beach anyway). They have since rung us to say Grandma will be going next year (hasn't been for like 5 years because she can't cope with it) and is going to go next year and it might be her last time. We'd talked about going somewhere else next year which I'm really keen to do but now I feel like we have to go on his "family" holiday - and the beach thing makes me feel like we will be judged for doing our own thing. I know my husband will feel like we should go in these circumstances and I feel like a bitch for holding our/my boundaries and planning an alternative holiday under these circumstances. I generally get on well with my in laws but they have form for making me feel this way.
Am I right to feel a bit manipulated or am I just being sensitive?
Note to add - I've tried to get the ball rolling with organising other weekends away for us all to spend time together at other times but no one seems bothered or wants to go then 🤷.