What's With 'Would You LET Your DH. . .'

[mbosnz]

Does anybody else find this wording like nails down a blackboard? I don't 'let' my DH do anything. He doesn't 'let' me do anything! We're autonomous adults! Sorry, this has really been bugging me.

I've noticed that recently too.

Surely two adults can function individually without the other playing ‘parent’. You got married; not glued together!

Not letting a partner do something, or “not standing for that” seems fair game on here. It’s just “having boundaries”

well… unless it’s a man saying it.

There seem to be a few of these about at the moment! I wouldn't contemplate 'letting' another adult do anything, let alone a partner. It's odd phrasing, I wonder if it's become contagious.

I agree with your reasoning however it is also "would you accept this behaviour from you dh/dp" - i don't let my dh do anything - he is free to do what he wants - however if he wanted to behave in a way that was unacceptable to me and vice versa-then we have to consider our relationship.

Obviously depends entirely on context.

'Let my DH have sex with me when I'm not in the mood' - fair use
'Let my DH spend all the family income on his hobby' - fair use

'Let my DH go out once a week with his mates' - unfair use
'Let my DH wear his scruffy jeans when we go on a day trip' - unfair use

It looks controlling written like that, but seems to be mostly shorthand for, "How would you react if your DH said he wanted to do this thing?" Which is the sort of discussion that's one of the cornerstones of Mumsnet.