My ex not taking our son on holiday

[zigzagstepandslide]

I’ve seen plenty of threads on here like this, 😔 but now to write my own unfortunately

my ex husband has a new family - engaged and twins who are about 3 years old now. We share our 8 year old son together. We split up not long after he was born and divorced.

this year they have been abroad twice and to a caravan several times. He has our son EOW but a couple of times he’s actually said he has to miss his weekend because they’re away, or told me his parents are having him instead! Over the 6 weeks holidays my ex’s parents have taken my DS on several days out (beach, theme park, swimming, etc) and of course I have too and I have used nearly all my AL for this. But I just find it really really sad that they don’t take my son at least some of the time. It’s upsetting my son and I feel like I should confront my ex now - I’ve kept my mouth shut so far but inside I’m so annoyed. My DS feels sad and left out. At the start of the summer holidays, they took their shared children to Disneyland Paris and my DS cried, he would have loved the marvel stuff! I’ve promised to take him next year but I’m on minimum wage and scrape by as it is even doing 40 hours a week, but I will keep my promise. I feel so sorry for him 😔 has anyone else dealt with this? Am i being unreasonable???!!

That's not nice. My best friends ex is like this, takes his new kids away but never the 3 he already had. Has anyone asked dad why? Just think when he's older he'll remember what you did for him.

How do you get on with him - have you told him how upset his son was about being left out of the Disney trip?

One way or another, you’ll have to find a way to talk to him.

Gosh that’s utterly horrible

Poor child

That's actually really nasty, could you mention your sons upset to his grandparents? They may feel similarly and be helpful making their son see how awful he is treating his son differently.

That is so horrible. Someone needs to tell him. He is still so little and he will be hurt. This will definitely affect him a lot as he will wonder why he’s different. Can you speak to the grandparents?

That’s so sad. I hate seeing threads like this, as it’s so awful and damaging for the poor children.

If you possibly can have a word, I would.

Similar situation but few years ago, ex had new family but they were not his kids, they went on several holidays they only time they took my two was when they were teens and to a caravan in Blackpool, we live 40 mins from there so not exactly new. They have never stayed over although step kids have a bedroom each, when they were younger they were put out now they say Dad is a weak pathetic man.

If I'm honest, I'd probably have a massive go at ex and tell him what a bloody shitty father he is - not very tactful I know but you can't help but feel rage when someone hurts your child. I hope you manage to save up and have a wonderful trip with your son next year 💐

That's totally unacceptable of him to exclude his son from a trip like that, I can see why he is upset and you are annoyed. He is really not setting himself up to have a good relationship with his son in the future. A

You are not confronting him, you are advocating for your son. I would just factually tell him how upset DS was not to be invited and leave the rest to him. I’d personally call and not text but that’s the norm for ys

The odds are low that a father who would treat his DC this way doesn’t know it’s wrong and terrible for his DC and will change behaviour because his ex asks him to,

I would nonetheless have to say something strong, ideally pre-prepared and in person. Focusing ob the risks this less favourable treatment gives rise to for DS, now and long term.

I wouldn’t make promises to DS about holidays etc, since it won’t address the main problems / risks for him which are the less favourable treatment by his father.

Your ex is being unreasonable. How awful for your Ds.

It’ll be because the new partner sorts the holidays and adding an 8 year old to the chaos of 3 year old twins isn’t exactly appealing re a relaxing holiday. Not an excuse, your ex should be making sure his eldest is invited for some of the time but if he’s not that useful on holiday I’d not want to add any extra kids to the mix in the new partners place either.

I am completely all for them wanting to go away just the four of them however they should also include a holiday where your son goes too.

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