Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DC upset I made us walk out of ‘show’ due to rude comments

45 replies

Holidaysam · 30/08/2025 17:51

We’ve just returned from a few nights away in the UK.

A couple of days ago, we were walking along the harbour area and noticed a sort of free outdoor performance - think a local costume group involving juggling, some acting etc. Our two young DC were really keen to go so we took our seats.

This was about 10 minutes before the show was scheduled to start, during this time one of the group, an older man in costume, was shouting out to people walking past using a mic to try and get them to join.

He started making comments to random people which I felt were really inappropriate, especially for a children’s show. He asked an older couple if they were called ‘Fred and Rose’, speculated if two men walking past were friends or in a relationship by mimicking a limped walk whilst holding his bum, and then once a man and woman walked past he said ‘I wonder why he’s with her’ and pretended to cup a pair of breasts.

I told our DC to get up and walked away. My youngest then started having a tantrum and was crying that we couldn’t watch the show.

DH said to me after that we should have stayed for the kids’ sake and ignored the old man. I felt this was a completely unsuitable environment at the best of times let alone for a supposed children’s show. Would you have stayed or do you agree with me leaving?

OP posts:
claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 30/08/2025 19:46

chuggabo · 30/08/2025 18:42

I would have done similarly. I have walked out of Punch and Judy that had a plot of domestic violence. It really was not "the way to do it".

It can be hard being the fun police- but once you've seen something you can't unsee it. Good for you OP.

There’s a reason it’s not called a “Cuddle and Judy” show!

Createausername1970 · 30/08/2025 19:50

chuggabo · 30/08/2025 18:42

I would have done similarly. I have walked out of Punch and Judy that had a plot of domestic violence. It really was not "the way to do it".

It can be hard being the fun police- but once you've seen something you can't unsee it. Good for you OP.

Who knew!

hoarahloux · 30/08/2025 19:50

Where were you, Great Yarmouth?

ponyprincess · 30/08/2025 19:51

I would definitely have left!

I am sorry your dc were upset but your dh should have 'parented up' and supported your decision.

You could tell dc something like it was a show for grown ups ( I know it actually wasn't) or distracted them with something else?

Sounds a hard situation for you!

TheGreatWesternShrew · 30/08/2025 19:54

I think you were right - clearly it was an adult show and made you uncomfortable. He should be less offensive if it’s a public show with no age limit.

GlomOfNit · 30/08/2025 19:55

You were absolutely right to leave and I hope your leaving emboldened others who were hating it to leave too! What a nobend. Your children will get over it, I'm sure you were able to distract them as any parent would if something they wanted to do was no longer an option.

Your DH should grow a spine and get some standards

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/09/2025 18:04

TheGreatWesternShrew · 30/08/2025 19:54

I think you were right - clearly it was an adult show and made you uncomfortable. He should be less offensive if it’s a public show with no age limit.

I agree it was an adult show.

When I read your title I thought you were unreasonable. But on hearing about the cast members comments and supposed comedy.. it wasn't suitable for young kids at all... and his "comedy" was from the 70s which would have just annoyed me.

You were right to walk. Lifes too short to spend time watching rubbish.

Snakebite61 · 01/09/2025 18:04

Holidaysam · 30/08/2025 17:51

We’ve just returned from a few nights away in the UK.

A couple of days ago, we were walking along the harbour area and noticed a sort of free outdoor performance - think a local costume group involving juggling, some acting etc. Our two young DC were really keen to go so we took our seats.

This was about 10 minutes before the show was scheduled to start, during this time one of the group, an older man in costume, was shouting out to people walking past using a mic to try and get them to join.

He started making comments to random people which I felt were really inappropriate, especially for a children’s show. He asked an older couple if they were called ‘Fred and Rose’, speculated if two men walking past were friends or in a relationship by mimicking a limped walk whilst holding his bum, and then once a man and woman walked past he said ‘I wonder why he’s with her’ and pretended to cup a pair of breasts.

I told our DC to get up and walked away. My youngest then started having a tantrum and was crying that we couldn’t watch the show.

DH said to me after that we should have stayed for the kids’ sake and ignored the old man. I felt this was a completely unsuitable environment at the best of times let alone for a supposed children’s show. Would you have stayed or do you agree with me leaving?

I'm afraid this is increasing with an increasingly right wing country.
A lot of people are turning into something horrible.

freerangethighs · 01/09/2025 18:06

I'd have some sympathy with your husband's take IF it had been a bystander or audience member shouting these things out. But a member of the group putting on the performance, and the other group members didn't intervene? I'd also walk away. It's not that I'd think the DCs would be negatively influenced, just that I wouldn't want to support the group even by just adding to the crowds at the performance and wouldn't want to amplify or normalise homophobia and misogyny.

It was rightly your decision though, as you were the parent present and your husband was not there. Fine for him to give an opinion (as long as he's not undermining you to the DCs) but it's pure hearsay and I'd not be impressed if he continues to make an issue of this.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 01/09/2025 18:09

chuggabo · 30/08/2025 18:42

I would have done similarly. I have walked out of Punch and Judy that had a plot of domestic violence. It really was not "the way to do it".

It can be hard being the fun police- but once you've seen something you can't unsee it. Good for you OP.

Why in heaven’s name did you go to the Punch and Judy show in the first place?!

Op won’t have known the show would descend into homophobia but Punch and Judy generally does what it says on the tin….

Americano75 · 01/09/2025 18:18

God, imagine how shit the actual show would have been?

I'd have walked away too, guy sounds like the worst kind of arsehole.

BunnyLake · 01/09/2025 18:23

I think I would have walked too. It sounded too cringe and old fashioned to carry on watching. The kids will get over it. I’d have wanted to shout ‘what a load of rubbish go back to the 1970s where you belong!’

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 01/09/2025 18:41

That sort of behaviour belongs in the last century. Sometimes you need to vote with your feet.

independentfriend · 01/09/2025 19:04

I think with that behaviour before the show has started when you can't know how much worse it'll get, leaving was a better choice than staying with young children. Older children you could have had more of a discussion but there's no need for young children to see 'edgy' art (or inappropriate jokes) that you'll spend days having to explain (different to panto jokes that go over children's heads but wouldn't upset them). You avoided the sunk cost fallacy.

FeetLikeFlippers · 01/09/2025 20:21

It’s so difficult in a situation like that, when your kids are kicking off but there is no quick easy way to explain to them why it’s bad - so, good for you for standing your ground and setting a good example to your kids. It’s people just brushing this stuff off that allows it to continue. You could explain to DC that the man was acting like a bully and saying nasty thing to people, I’m sure they are old enough to understand that and it saves you having to get into the actual content of this knobhead’s comments! And I would report it too - it’s not just offensive but also a criminal offence to make sexist/homophobic remarks in a public place.

Ap42 · 01/09/2025 20:22

I would've left too. By staying it implies the man's behaviour is ok, its really not.

SirBasil · 01/09/2025 20:24

chuggabo · 30/08/2025 18:42

I would have done similarly. I have walked out of Punch and Judy that had a plot of domestic violence. It really was not "the way to do it".

It can be hard being the fun police- but once you've seen something you can't unsee it. Good for you OP.

to be fair: Punch and Judy is ALL about the domestic violence, and always always has been

Better not even to go in to one of those.

Letsgoroundagainnow · 01/09/2025 20:40

That’s not funny! You did the right thing.

Imfat · 01/09/2025 21:23

It's hard enough to parent your child.
I also would have walked out.

A few years ago on holiday in Spain. At an advertised show for families we walked out
after the first words out of the comedians mouth were 'fu*' and 'cun'
We weren't the only ones.
It was supposed to have been a female comedian followed by the balloon artist.

Noononoo · 02/09/2025 09:12

But in Punch and Judy doesn’t the audience all side with Judy and Punch gets his retribution by being eaten by a crocodile? Or does he get hung ?something shocking. And isn’t the policeman silly and not doing his job? And audience knows that domestic violence is wrong? It might be old fashioned but it’s not as if domestic violence doesn’t exist any more and that children might know about it first hand. And then there is cartoon violence as well which has always been enjoyed and the puppets like cartoons are distinctly unreal…Unlike this man doling out embarrassing jibes to encourage people to go to the show? the only way to protest is to not go. Doesn’t sound remotely funny just crude and cringey.
i never took my kids to Punch and Judy but if we had run in to one would not have rushed them off. I wonder what was attracting children to this show? Surely not the man’s patter? Was it colourful and jokey looking?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page