neighbour blanks me

[Mylittlegreycat]

I am 75 and always been friends with my neighbour who lives at the back. Occasional cup of tea and chat, at his house. He has been single for 42 years. Two years ago my husband died he knew him, but not to chat to and since then he has been round to mine for coffee. He would call or email and say coffee at yours? We chat and I never thought anything of it but then he made a few comments which seemed a bit odd. We were discussing talk of a local brothel and he said I will have to investigate ha ha. Another time he said he was meeting a lady for coffee but made a point of not romantically. On another occassion h e said he would see his friend if "we werent doing anything". I just let these things pass. Then the last time he came round he asked me if I thought I would ever have another relationship and I said very firmly. NO. I havent seen him since. I have emailed him about local issues once or twice. Do you think he meant for us to get together, it never entered my head. I miss the chats but would not want to encourage him in anyway. (he is an ex alcoholic sober for many years).

It sounds like he did think there was a chance op. I suppose now you figure out how you feel but also how much you miss him either as a friend or more than that and work from there x

Sounds like the trash took itself out.

You need to find nicer people to be friends with op.

Such a shame he’s made these comments. It seems to spoil what sounds like a nice friendship.

My elderly male neighbour tried to start a relationship with an elderly female neighbour who basically told him where to go. She’d been widowed for years, his partner died more recently. She had a big 3 bed semi, pension etc, he lives in a one bed downstairs council flat and told us he’d never planned for retirement. I don’t know if he thought they should get together romantically or for practical purposes. Both then carried on with their friendship, but lady was much more reticent with him. Bit of a shame.

How long has it been since you saw or heard from him?

It does seem like maybe he has been enjoying your company and possibly thought there was something else there, or maybe could be in the future, so was sounding you out.

Sounds like he may have been hurt by your very firm NO. Was there any reason why you felt you needed to say it so firmly?

Seems like you have hurt his feelings a bit and there may be a bit of a bruised ego there also. He may also be protecting himself, and his own feelings, by staying away. Who knows?

I think you need to decide how much you value his friendship, and how much you miss his company, and if you want to reach out to him, as a friend, and try and sort this out.