to be numb about the half kitchen refurb.

[DIYfatigue]

We've lived here 20 years with a make shift, unfitted kitchen. Four months ago I pushed to get it sorted in a more conventional (pleasant) way.
DH loves to tackle everything himself, so it took a month for him to build from scrap a very lovely double cupboard.
I insisted on other units that were constructed and painted. These have been delivered, DH has plumbed, done electrics, fitted all while working full-time. The time booked off was minimal and eaten into. (Last year he didn't take all his leave)

The whole thing is going to drag on for months more and I'm just tired of it all. I've been keeping the whole thing going by strength of imagination but have run out of gratitude and fun for the whole bloody enterprise. No, I don't want to put my old saucepans in the new drawers when we'll no doubt have to pull the unit out again.
Any suggestions? Anyone want to keep me company, share their DIY epic timeframes.

I could have written much the same! My late husband was excellent at everything, but time and money constraints meant it all took ages to complete, by which time most of the children had moved out.

My FIL has finally agreed that if he wants to sell his house and downsize, he needs to get the kitchen done as no one will want it in the current state. The current kitchen is still not finished, he started installing in 1986.

If it helps at all, OP, while my DH has zero DIY skills (and luckily no desire for it either)…we’re around six weeks into a 9+ month reno project and even with all of the professionals in the world, I’ve already hit the same stage as you.

Already had things go badly wrong, every room bar two look like building sites, I can never find anything that I need and those two rooms are trying to stand as the most full storage rooms ever in an attempt to keep just a slight portion of our belongings vaguely clean and untrashed. And I’m eight months pregnant 😭.

I just want it all to be over and done and can’t believe we’ll be living like this for the next 7.5 months at least. I can’t get excited about it anymore, I have no interest in what’s happening or even picking things out…I just want to wake up tomorrow and it’s all sorted. Instead, I’ll keep wearing my shoes to go to the loo in the middle of the night and living out of my suitcase in a room with broken, unplastered walls and no carpet.

I can completely appreciate your view on this - if the reason I was stuck in this place was because my DH wanted to do it all himself, I’d have lost my shit with him well before now!

@DIYfatigue was your dh actually making the units out of sawn wood himself???? was he growing the trees to source the wood?? cannot believe 20 years and it still isnt finished! what have you and he been doing? did you not want to learn yourself and get it done much quicker?

@Bloatstoat 40 years???? jesus h christ!!! what the hell has he done in between?????

We have been renovating our house for six years now, even with the assistance of professionals. Admittedly the renovations have been very extensive (and expensive) so they've had to be done bit by bit. The downstairs is lovely. The bathroom upstairs is still as it was when we moved in - I don't like it (blue bath and sink, though white toilet - not tiled) but it's probably the last thing we will do. We've just had someone make us a new built-in wardrobe in a spare bedroom so that we can close off the closet in that room and open the space into our bedroom, then pinch a corner out of our bedroom to make an en-suite tiny shower room, but DH is finishing the work in the spare bedroom first as it involves putting new drywall in the space where the closet door was, and painting that wall. We will get professionals in to do the en-suite bit, but in the meantime we'd have to decamp to another spare bedroom, which at the moment is full of all the stuff we turfed out of the one that's currently being worked on. Oh, and we moved the front door to another side of the house (our house is on a corner lot) and it has been unusable for the last four years so all access to the house is through the side door into the kitchen. I just hope we don't have a fire... I am told the porch may be done this autumn, but I'm not holding my breath.

He nearly finished a patio, built a garden shed that was intended as a woodworking workshop but ended up full of random off cuts of wood and bits and pieces of furniture he planned to fix up, and has made endless plans (he got as far as planning permission at one point) for an extension.

Every time we get a tradesman in to do work on our house, he lectures DH on how much cheaper and better it is to do the work yourself. We smile and nod and carry on with the professional!

I would have been tempted to get someone in whilst he is away say it was a surprise to save him killing himself working so hard and even though you need the kitchen finished asap you need him more and the kitchen is taking up too much of his free time. Good luck op the kitchen is really important to have it out of action the least of the time.

My kitchen ‘functions’ perfectly well as a kitchen, but it’s old (22 years), tired and grotty. So I’m getting a new one. For me.
OP it sounds painful and infuriating.

I've been waiting nearly 2 years for mine to be finished. Ordered from Wren on Autumn 2023. Partner took a week off work ( self employed f electrician) which ended up not being a fun week in the end but did get all the appliances fitted. Since then he has had sudden spurts so did most of the floor ( but not sealed the edges) most of the splashback ( but not finished off). Still needs the pelmets and side panels fitting. No word re when it's going to be done. Then these the bathroom to do! Suggested getting someone in but he ' wants to do it all himself'.

I’m not meaning this to sound rude…but I just find this so selfish…that these men put their want/pride of “doing it themselves” above everyone else’s need to live in a completed house.

This is very frustrating for you. My next door neighbour is doing their kitchen 2.5 yrs. It's absolutely dreadful for everyone. They both work full time, he insists he is a builder she insists that DIY is the easiest thing ever and so much fun doing it together. But... They start drilling and hammering at 6pm Mon -Fri this goes on until at least 11pm, every sat and sun from 8am/9am for most of the day they're at it. It drives me mad, I just wish they'd take 2 weeks off work and finish it if it's so easy !

While you're dh is away just get someone in to finish it. I just can't be arsed if I have the money and can pay someone to come and do the work in a reasonable time frame instead of these DIY jobs dragging out for years wrecking everyone's heads.

Yes quite. I have retaliated by refusing to clean the bathroom. I clean the new bits of the kitchen but i can't clean the splashbacks properly as they are not sealed so water can get under them. Probably has already. The kitchen is livable with and all the cupboards contain, it's just the finishing touches.

Speaking for myself, I could probably manage with my one-ring camping stove and my Instant Pot. I just don't want to 😀

Some of the descriptions on this thread are giving me flashbacks to my childhood, I must say. I think the thing that always drove me nuts was that if my dad had been paid to do the work by someone else he'd have applied himself and got it done in a couple of weeks!

@DIYfatigue No regrets, we needed a bigger house and bought what we could afford. It is a very solid 1930's semi and was owned by an elderly couple who had let it go due to ill health. We have had some giggles over the years with it. The first time we renovated and replaced the kitchen we knocked about 1 1/2 tonnes of cement render off the walls, in between taking the youngest to the bathroom as she had decided to potty train herself. Coat hooks in various places and picture hooks were 9" nails and they were everywhere. The kitchen had a red shag pile carpet, under that was lino and under that the original red quarry tiles, sadly cracked ones had been replaced with random mismatched tiles so we couldnt keep them. The estate agents details listed "recessed display area to chimney breast" these were actually bits of old wardrobe.