Reposting for traffic
Sorry this is long and jumbled I need to get it out somewhere.
I've been with fiance for 5 years, engaged for just over a year and wedding is planned for next summer. He's bi which I've never had an issue with but before me he had a very serious relationship with a man he met at uni. They were together the whole 3 years during uni, maybe a bit more then kind of on and off afterwards. He's always described it as toxic, but said it was the first time he'd really loved someone and as much as they both wanted to make it work they'd hurt each other in different ways so it wasn't to be. I hated hearing that but I guess everyone has a past
When we first got together they still had a bit of contact, just the odd happy birthday on Facebook or whatever, nothing flirty from what I saw. Then about 4 years ago ex moved to Germany and I thought that we the end of it.
He's recently moved back to the UK with a girlfriend apparently but all of a sudden he's messaging fiancè again. Some messages come late at night which I don't like at all. Fiancè says it's just catching up and ex wants to meet up with him for a drink. I said I wasn't comfortable and he said I was being controlling and insecure and he can have friends if he wants.
But here's the part that worries me. Last Christmas I went in to the loft to get the decorations down and right at the front there was a box. Not dusty or hidden away so he must’ve had it out recently. It was literally right there on top of the Christmas things. Anyway inside there was things like his graduation photo etc, but there were loads of photos of them together and a pile of love letters from his ex, saying how fiancè was the love of his life, things about the future etc, I didn't read them all this was just one. There was also a letter right at the top that fiancè had written but not sent to him saying he still loved him and wished things could've been different etc. The date on it was prior to us getting together so I'm not worried about that but I've never been able to forget it.
I put it all back and never said anything but it’s been sitting in my head all year. And now with him back here and messaging again, I can't shake the feeling that if they saw each other again something could happen . Fiancè says it’s ancient history (they split up over 6 years ago now) and that he’s with me and marrying me so why would I think he wants someone else. But if that’s true then why keep all those letters? And why was the unsent one right on top like he’s been reading it again?
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to say no, don’t meet him, or if I am being controlling and paranoid.
AIBU?
Please don't derail this thread into a bunfight or biphobia.