Fear of flying

[IDoNotLikePlanes]

How do I get over it?! I’m flying on Monday and suddenly all the intrusive thoughts have hit again - like the fear of crashing, or something going wrong. I can’t stand it, how do I move past it?! My only option is usually to knock myself out with a Nytol the night before the flight and hope it keeps me drowsy enough to sleep on the flight

Your chances of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 11 million!

I think you'll be fine.

Whats your reason for flying? Think of the end result!

Join love fly on Facebook . I found that really helpful and listening to their podcasts .

I've just googled commercial flight safety and found the following:

"The risk of fatality from flying is extremely low, with some data suggesting a risk of one in several million flights, and the general trend shows a continued annual improvement in safety."

One in several million flights, OP!

The problem is your fear of flying is producing anxiety and anxiety defies rhyme or reason, (I know I have generalised anxiety.) What I've found effective is to label the fear and then counter it - "that's just my anxiety talking and I am going to be perfectly, perfectly fine." Then I break the activity down into small manageable chunks praising myself in my mind for achieving each small step. In your case: get yourself to the airport/check in/ board the flight/ take off/in flight/ land/ leave airport. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!

This probably doesn't help OP, but flights are the safest form of transport.
Yes, it's noisy, annoying, unnatural... but it gets you somewhere you want to go.
You can take Nytol, but I would prefer to be present. Do a lot of BREATHING (relaxing breathing such as box, or 4-7-8).
Are you flying alone? With a partner/children?
If flying with another adult, let them know and get permission to "squish their hand". If with children, please try not to pass it on to them: "we're going on holiday, this is SO exciting", "look out of the window, what can you see?".
If you have an iPad or phone (handheld), just plug it in for a distraction. Or, long haul - plug into films ASAP and constant.
Breathe, distract.
The pilot and air crew know their stuff and will keep you safe.

I have it and absolutely hate it, but the yearly flight to go on holiday is totally worth the stress.

Your brain is instantly thinking of the worse case scenario almost as a form of protection. I wont let myself relax as feel if I do, something bad will happen. Its totally irrational but so hard to change and very easy to spiral in those days before you fly (ive been there many times).

For me, I look through photos of past holidays and the holiday we are going on, think of all the car/train journeys ive done in the last year (in which there would be a much higher risk of an accident) and also have a wine at the airport! 😅 It genuinely does help take the edge off it even if it doesn’t go away.

I know its so hard to do but try to keep yourself busy, get some good distraction for the plane and it is absolutely the safest form of transport. We are very lucky to live in a country that had extremely high safety standards and planes are maintained to the highest standard. Ive been in what I would describe as ‘bad turbulence’ and the air stewards never flinched so can’t have actually been bad at all.

I know they’re the safest, but that doesn’t stop My intrusive thoughts! I nearly cancelled after the stories in the media at the start of the year

A hypnotherapist would soon sort that for you. In the meantime, look to download a hypnotherapy recording to help you. They are reasonably priced and available immediately on download.

I had hypnotherapy and it worked. I'll never love it but I don't think about for weeks beforehand anymore and it doesn't spoil my holiday now.

This sounds odd and counter intuitive but is working really, really well for me. I watch flight radar and have notifications on for 7700s - this is planes logging the emergency code.

I then watch them land safely. It has really helped me realise that there are literally thousands of planes in the sky, most 7700s come from light aircraft and it’s just a call to air traffic like if you had a warning light on a car.

Watching safe landings for these is really reassuring - just be aware there can be a tiny time lag/geographical lag at airports so they’ll show being stuck at a couple of hundred feet or overshooting a runway before correcting themselves after a couple of seconds.

I started this ahead of a flight to Madeira last winter after hearing how difficult the runway is - particularly in high winds. So I obsessively watched flights landing there including quite a few that came in to land and had to divert last minute. As we came in to land I was probably the calmest I’ve been on a flight knowing (and almost expecting) that some flights have to pull and abort landing (We didn’t). I recommend watching Madeira flights in a stormy day if you take my approach, as where you are going to will likely be an easier, more sheltered landing.

Enjoy the holiday x

I have a fear of flying … I’ve tried hypnotherapy, read the book, been on the course, know the stats … I still have a fear of flying.

Medication & Alcohol are the only things that work for me

I detest flying. I know all the statistics, that is not the problem - but I just hate. It is, as someone pointed out, unnatural!

I do not fly now - both because I hate it and also because I think that one of the reasons that the world is in such an environmental mess is because there are simply too many flights. Maybe we all need to accept that we cannot simply go where we want when we want for the sake of our children and theirs.

OP - you will be fine! But maybe consider another form of transport next time for reasons other than fear!

I understand everything you are feeling but those terrible stories in the media about planes happen with thousands of cars/buses (and sometimes trains) everyday across the world.

They only make the media with planes as they are so very rare and the media know what a plane crash story will do for news viewings. We are in a fairly quiet area and I can count at least 3 very sad stories in our local media in the past few days of road deaths which would sadly never make it to the news (because it just happens too often).

As hard as it is, try to think of the end goal, keep yourself distracted and remember walking out your house and driving along the road (which you probably do most days) is much higher risk.

Distraction. Take a puzzle book, or read to keep your mind occupied. Telling you statistics isn't going to help, because you know that your thoughts are irrational!! Practice breathing techniques. When you have a thought, in your mind have an imaginary box and imagine opening the box and putting the thought inside and sealing it up. If a thought comes into your mind, start thinking about something that makes you happy - imagine yourself doing it.

I take up the offer of wine, and then try to keep myself as busy as possible. I can't relax, so busy tasks help too, like walking around, taking DC to the toilet, 'freshening up', onboard quizzes etc.

I am Catholic. I find holding onto my rosary extremely helpful during turbulence. It helps to distract and ground me. I recite rosary prayers, but, from a Mindfulness perspective, having something to hold/fidget with, while reciting a helpful mantra (along the lines of 'this plane can handle turbulence easy peasy' or 'when we land I will have that sangria by the pool').. this could get you through the tougher moments (usually take off/landing/turbulence- all of which do not last long!).

I didn’t ask to be lectured.

I take perhaps 2 commercial flights a year, maximum. The issue comes from private jets

Another adding that hypnotherapy worked for me.

Therapist was keen to work out why I'm scared and with some consideration together my fear is more about lack of control, rather than having been through a scary experience. I rarely drink alcohol as I hate the lack of control that being drunk brings. (alcohol could never be a prop to help me fly).

Two sessions were enough to begin to address my fears. A year later, before flying again, I had another two sessions, one recorded. Now I listen to the recording two or three times in the week before I fly.

The therapist also asked how I wanted the flight to be. I wanted to enjoy it, time for me, let’s face it when do any of us get three hours+ to do not very much. I wanted to be able to read, rest, eat, have a cuppa. Now I do.

Each time I fly, I improve. I use the techniques she shared if needed, though this is less and less.

I no longer consider that I'm scared. The therapist stressed that fear is a choice, that I can control this’.

It has been truly life changing, after years of dreading the flight for weeks prior, not sleeping, being terrified at every ‘bump’, gripping my partners hand, never moving from my seat, clock watching (sure it had stopped!), no food or drink I can enjoy a flight.

I am a very nervous flyer and this article really helped me.
https://www.neverendingfootsteps.com/how-i-overcame-my-fear-of-flying/
It has book recommendations as well as practical things you can do. I’ve flown twice in the past year with only mild anxiety each time.