Rubbish gift from MIL

[MyBabyAteTheDingo]

Son’s 19th birthday today, mil dropped his gift round. It’s a free Jesus audio CD that she receives from some Christian subscription.

I'm fucking fuming on his behalf. He has no interest in religion. This from a woman who spends over £300 on a small tube of eye wrinkle cream so money’s not the issue here. They get on well so I’m just puzzled at this.

I know it’s the thought that matters but this seems more like an insult.
She’ll be calling later so any suggestions on how to respond to this?

This is brilliant! What.on earth were they thinking?!

Everyone has a quirky present giver in the family. It’s inexplicable but uniquely them, Don’t take it personally, I don’t imagine she had a malicious intent

My ex husband was given a casserole dish on his 18th by his Aunt.
He gave it to his Mum. I don't think he was gutted though. Thought it was funny.

Was going to say the same thing. That can be her gift this Christmas.

Oh my god, please just send it back to her!! With a note: “Hi MIL, it’s very kind of you to gift DS a CD that you got in your subscription, but we don’t have a CD player or even a laptop that takes CDs. So we thought we had best give it back to you so someone else can get use out of it”

I have a December birthday, so one year for my birthday MIL got me an iron.

And an ironing board for Christmas 😂

I’d just tell your MIL she should have asked you what your DS would have liked? Maybe she’s got no idea what males want (eg your DH’s choc advent calendar?)

She has always had a bonkers side, we meet up frequently and can’t say I’ve noticed anything different but after reading a few posts now about mental decline has worried me. DH is going to call his dad later and find out if he’s noticed anything ‘unusual’.

Mils are their own species!!
For my dds 18th, mil gifted ‘ garden birds of the uk’
Dog eared of course!! I mean wtf!
Honestly all you can do is laugh

One Christmas my husband unwrapped his Christmas present from his mum which was a body warmer, not really his thing but ok he’d wear it in the garden. Then he opened his present from his aunt, another body warmer, ( luckily they weren’t with us at the time) because we started laughing and by the time he opened his present from his nan, a third body warmer we were in hysterics. Turns out they were actually all together when they bought them. I mean who thinks, oh yes that’s a good idea, I’m sure he’d like 3. Well my aunt and my dad both got additional Christmas presents that year😂

My last birthday present from my MIL was a red plastic child’s handbag with a matching bracelet. Which she posted across the Atlantic.

I’m 54 and have no kids. She doesn’t have dementia, its been stuff like this the whole 25 years I’ve known her.

You just say Thank You and forget about it.

I actually don’t know why he texted her to say thanks. It’s an insult of a gift and he’s not thankful. So why pretend?

If the lack of ‘gratitude’ prompted some come back then good. It would be an opportunity to explore why she thought it was appropriate. I don’t know why people feel they have to say thank you for absolutely thoughtless and mean spirited gifts. It’s baffling to me.

I was on here years ago, trying to get MIL's thinking interpreted by the hive mind.
That Christmas DD1, aged four, received a generous amount of well thought out bits.
DD2, aged 2, received a TV tie in book, for something we didn't have access to from a charity shop with the previous owners teeth marks.

Apparently, this was to match the other grandchildren a 3 and a 1.year old who we rarely met up with. The thinking being the one year old wouldn't mind.

It's got worse over the years, but I rarely find out the logic now. We get cooked a tiny, mean curry, the others get meals out, holidays, pocket money, fuel, jewellery, cakes and half a dozen pasties.

Any visit is bookended and constrained by SIL & BIL's families, their childcare needs, gifts shopped for locally, it's bonkers. Took me years to see properly.

The kids are 18 and 20 now, so I feel no need to put a positive spin on that branch of the family.
It was £25 for the 18th birthday. They spent more on pasties for BIL's family.

How old is she? Sounds like she might be losing the plot?

If the present isn't to you, then you don't need to say anything at all. It's up to DS what he says or does.

This 👆

My grandma once gave me a bag of present bows wrapped up for Christmas. I was confused but polite and said thanks. It was definitely the start of her mental decline.

Not your circus so keep out of it. If you adult son wants to take his GM to tasl that is for him to do, not you. He's not six!!

DH received a novelty handbag shaped like a bustier from grandma. BIL got an empty photo album with a long-ago year on the front that wasn’t the year he was born or anything.

She was a millionaire and didn’t have dementia. She just didn’t give a shit.

That would be a totally normal gift from my barmy nan, but she has form for that sort of thing. If it’s unusual for her which it sounds like it is, I would be thinking wtf?

I think I'd have to ask her about it. I'd have to send it in a text / WhatsApp though, I couldn't hold a straight face if I spoke to her in person! Something along the lines of "Hi MIL, was just wondering about DS's birthday present, he's not very religious, so I just wondered why you bought him a Christian CD, am I missing something so I can explain it to him?". My MIL is very Catholic and bought my daughter a children's bible when she was little. I just rolled my eyes and told my daughter it was a book of old stories... She found it boring apart from Noah's Ark. And we all love a story about animals, so that was okay! 😂

If your MIL is coming around later I would wait until she's been around before you comment. It could be that she is bringing his 'real' present around later 🤔

Ok, but she will call later and ask me what did ds think of his present? (like she always does).

She’s 70. Has regular cheek/lip fillers and Botox. DH response to me saying “maybe she has the start of dementia” was nah, probably just too many chemicals pumped in her face.

I think it would be appropriate to give it back and say, thank you but we don’t have a CD player.