AIBU to ask for a handhold while I wait for my c-section…

[TheBerry]

Just at hospital waiting for my section! There were a bunch of emergencies today so it’s been delayed and I’m not even sure it’ll happen today now.

I want to get it over with but I’m also really nervous.

I have autism and I’m so squeamish and don’t always cope with this sort of thing very well.

I had a natural birth with DD a couple years ago, but had a bleed due to retained placenta so a section seemed safer this time. I keep remembering how horrible it was when they were trying to put the cannula in - they had to try about 8 times because my veins kept collapsing. Then for the epidural they had to keep giving me numbing shots because I could feel it every time they tried to put the line into my spine.

I’m just not sure what to expect this time. They’re moving us to the gynae theatre to try to fit us in today and I’m not sure it’ll be fully equipped or have the same staff. I’m meant to have gas and air to keep me calm but I’m not sure I will be able to. I don’t want to start bleeding out again!

It'll be really nice and calm (I've had two!) if you haven't already make a nice playlist on spotify most place let you have music in theatre.

Apparently lion king is a popular choice for them they lift the baby over the curtain 😅

Of course the theatre will be equipped and appropriately staffed. Remind them about the entonox as you’re leaving the ward so they can pick up a cylinder on the way.m if they need to.

They won't send you to a theatre that isn't fully equipped and doesn't have correct staff

Aww, I feel for you! The theatre will be well equipped and I imagine you’ll be absolutely fine. Have you got anyone with you right now to help distract you a little? Good luck!

Bless you OP. I've had 3 sections and each one was a breeze. The spinal was totally fine for me. I just sat there thinking, a few moments of discomfort is soooo much better than hours of labour! Planned sections are so relaxed. Radio on, everyone jolly and chatty. It's a really lovely experience if you just go with the flow. If you're nervous, just keep telling them you can feel the cold spray, then the block will be made that wee bit stronger. Its's completely pain free, you just feel pushing sensation. The anaesthetist sits by your head and will chat about baby, chosen name etc. Just tell them if you feel light-headed and they top up your drugs. Think of the end result - you're almost meeting your baby! Good luck!

Thinking of you!
I had my first by elective section 3 weeks ago (also autistic) and despite losing more blood than expected it was a really positive calm experience
The spinal I found uncomfortable/scary but manageable and for me personally that was the worst bit of the whole experience
It did feel weird when they were pulling her out but not in an overwhelming way (idk if they might have given something to keep me calm?)
Honestly I think choosing a section for me was the best decision I ever made, the absolute relief of a calm untraumatic delivery

Good luck!!
If it's elective they won't even think about doing it in less than optimal staffing conditions etc

I know it’s weird but I find music a bit too emotional when I’m feeling anxious!! I’d rather DH just talked to me I reckon.

You’ll be fine. I’ve had 2, it’s very chilled. Before you know it you’ll be holding your baby with none of the huffing puffing and pushing. You’ll be ok OP. Thinking of you 😍

Oh sending you so much love. I remembeing being in the exact same situation, even with the cannula problems.

Its really hard building up to it all day and not knowing when you will go in, especially for us neurodivergents.

Distract yourself as much as possible, ask for a sip of water if you need it- I bet you've not had anything all day. That will help with the cannula too.

Make sure you voice all your concerns and get your partner to speak up for you. There may be things they can say/ do to make you feel more at ease, so dont be afraid to let people know how you're feeling.

Sending you a virtual hug xx

I should also say the c section was absolutely fine!! It was totally the build up that was difficult and the not knowing 🩷

Handhold here OP, I remember being so anxious during the wait.

With regard to your concerns about the cannula I spoke to the anaesthetist and told her how worried I was about it and they used I think a portable ultrasound or something similar to see my veins so that they could get it in first time. Worth asking about if you’re feeling anxious about it.

Fingers crossed you’re cuddling your baby soon.

It’s been delayed!! Probably until Sunday. Pretty gutted, just wanted it done.

I’m due on Monday as well.

The wait is really stressful 😣 I had an elective last week but with very little notice. I’m high risk so it was very stressful.

the actual process once you’re waiting is only a few hours and to say my c section was a breeze I’m not lying.

I didn’t want music, just another thing to think about.
the staff talk to you the whole time and take your mind off the section.
It feels like rummaging around and pushing and pulling and then 5 mins later baby is out!
totally surreal but so easy
just accept you’re not in control and they are the experts. Just go with the flow.

in terms of recovery I managed to get my catheter out as soon as it started to annoy me. Midwives change your pads as you won’t feel your legs
i was only in over night and discharged around 4pm the next day.
just make sure you get up and walk around and prove to them you are passing urine.

i slept and slept when I got home and you really need to rest from major surgery

a week on I’m healing well. I absolutely would have another c section. Zero trauma or complications.
I overheard some of the women on the ward saying they’d torn or had PTSD from their labour.
So many of my friends have horror stories about giving birth so I feel I lucked out x

This is awful for you. I’m so sorry 💓

You will be ok OP. I have had 3 sections and was only terrified on my third, I couldn't stop shaking for some reason.

The Anesthetists are always absolutely lovely and do a fantastic job of being kind, supportive and completely professional. They will look after you. All the best.

Op I waited around all day and got sent home too. If you come back tmo ask them to fit the iv drip and hydrate you early as two full days of nil by mouth is awful

Use this time to rest now, you’ve got everything ready so just rest

From what I’ve heard from friends, a planned C section is pretty amazing and calm, it will be fine!

Oh that’s pants!
I’m surprised they haven’t done it sooner if you’re due on Monday anyway. What if you go into labour spontaneously? Would they prioritise a C-section then, or expect you to have a vaginal birth? (Sorry, don’t know the ins and outs of these things).

I don’t know 🙁

They just had too many emergencies.

It’s meant to be one of the best maternity centres in the UK but it’s clearly still under-resourced, under-staffed…

I’m worried the care won’t be as good on Sunday. When I had the bleed with my last birth and the midwife pressed the emergency buzzer about ten people rushed in immediately and saved me. On Sunday I don’t even know if I’d get that response.

It probably won’t even happen on Sunday anyway, it sounds like they have a huge backlog.

If someone goes into labour ahead of their scheduled section then they’re advised to make contact asap. When they arrive they’re assessed and if they still want/need that section it’s done in order of clinical priority depending on whatever else is going on on the ward at the time. Occasionally, if a woman presents in advanced labour and there isn’t a medical contraindication to a vaginal delivery, then it may be safer to have a vaginal delivery, but most often women just get the section as planned.

Labour ward will be as well staffed on a Sunday as it is on any weekday. It’s a little unusual to do elective sections at the weekend and the timing will depend on the ward activity.

Thank you for this 👍🏻

There will be lots of staff in the theater, so you don’t need to worry about not enough people being there. I was really surprised how many women were there. I had my C section on Saturday. At least two consultants were performing C Section and there were other nurses, senior nurses, anesthesiologists and other staff I can’t remember who they were. You are not going to be left alone or wait once you’re there. It’s a major operation and you’ll be taken care of. Everything is going to be okay. Good luck!

I know you’re probably not even remotely thinking about this but if your C-section is on Monday then your child will probably be the oldest in their class at school, as opposed to the youngest if they’re born tomorrow.
Like I said, that’s probably not even entering your head and you just want your baby here safely and NOW but I worked in an infant school and these things come into my head!
Good luck!