To say no to being executor?

[Stakhanovite]

I have an elderly friend that I’ve known for about 5 years. We have a meal together every couple of weeks and I’m very fond of them. They have asked me to be executor of their will. I haven’t met any of their children, so I’m not sure of the dynamics. I’m financially pretty literate so in theory could probably do a good job, but I’m a conflict avoiding introvert and I’ve recently emerged into a peaceful life after a stressful few years. It’s such an honour that they’ve come to me with this, but I’m not keen. Am I awful to say no, and if not, what do I tell them?

Say you are very sorry and you can't, but maybe if they don't want to use their children suggest they name a solicitors firm (who will charge).

Or if they just think children not up to it, name a child but also include note that solicitor should be used paid for from estate?

No, you are not awful to say no. Frankly, it's a huge ask. It's a ton of work. You will be dealing with rounding up all bills and paying, getting together paperwork, going to the courthouse, setting up an estate account, making sure all estate debts are paid, then comes sale of property or distributing assets. You could be looking at a year + of issues with this. Does she expect you to do this for free? Because executors can bill the estate for the hours spent working on it. I don't know about there but here in the US there's also a fiduciary duty involved and there's potential for personal liability. I suspect there could be conflict and that's why she's asked you rather than a family member. You've only known her for 5 years.

I personally would say no and stay far away from this matter.

No, I'm not going to be able to do that. That's all you need to say.

I usually act as executor for close family but no one else. I did both my parents and my FIL but refused to do MIL's (due to family disagreements which I wanted no part of refereering!).

I get lots of clients asking me to do it which used to be slightly embarrassing years ago when I refused, but more latterly, it's become where "professionals" need to be registered/regulated, and as I don't have the qualification/registration to act as a professional executor, it's easier to say no and explain why.

Basically, if there's nothing "in it" for the OP, they are quite within their rights to say no. At the very least, the friend should be including a bequest in their will to cover the time and inconvenience, which WILL be extensive even for simple estates.

Basically, I think the "friend" is just wanting to be a cheapskate and avoiding paying a solicitor to do it!

Hell no way, tell them you will happily get some quotes for paid executor when the time comes and hans it over to them but you aren’t doing it yourself.

No, I’ve done it for my df and my uncle, I will do it for my mum but in all these cases it was very close family who wouldn’t be cross and kick up a fuss if I got it wrong. If you make a mistake, you are not covered by a solicitors company insurance, it could get very very messy and I don’t know how liable you would be.

Our family have always had spouse, children and our solicitor as executors.
Pretty unusual to have someone thats not a beneficiary be an executor I’d have thought.
Suggest they ask their solicitor.

I don’t have any family. My best friend (since I was 10) is my executor but she is under instruction to use my estate to pay for a solicitor and just to oversee the firm’s work to ensure transparency. She is not a beneficiary but her children are along with other children I care about and various charities. Having been executor twice with my parents, I can’t put her through all that admin. With my dad’s death we paid my solicitor to do it.

When we update our wills I have no idea who we would name as executors. My DC will not be academically/organisationally up to it. Current named are 60+ so maybe only viable for another 10 years.

Say no; this is why solicitors exist!

Thanks so much to everyone for your advice. If I had any doubts about turning this down you have well and truly exploded them! I’m self employed so my time is precious. I dealt with both my parents’ affairs and have consciously tried to de-complicate my life.