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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset about weight comments

17 replies

pamelat · 31/05/2008 10:18

my little girl is 19 weeks old.

I put 2.5 stone on during the pregnancy, and have 9lbs or so to lise - which I was really happy with!

I am sensitive about weight issues, was previously a bit of an exercise freak and just started to get back in to it (I am 9st 9lbs now)

Anyway all my family members, and mil, seem to think its acceptable to make comments whenever I eat something "bad"chips, cake etc about how I will never lose the weight!!

OP posts:
MissingMyHeels · 31/05/2008 10:19

YANBU - what arseholes, you're doing really well.

cupsoftea · 31/05/2008 10:20

Just put your fingers in your ears & go lalala

How rude of them.

Anna8888 · 31/05/2008 10:21

How horrible of them - you sound like a naturally slim, and consciously healthy, person who is losing your pregnancy weight at exactly the right pace and without dieting. Good for you.

Original poster
pamelat · 31/05/2008 10:23

Thank you, its just an area which sensitive about and I think it is rude of them but hubby says thyey only "joking" and dont mean it - its not really a joke thing? especially for in laws?

Am a bit hormonlal at mo so perhaps slightly over reacting?

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 31/05/2008 10:24

I would be very firm with them if I were you. They are very rude - tell them so, and that you have your and your baby's health and weight under control and don't need their comments.

ChukkyPig · 31/05/2008 10:33

Are you BF? As then you could point out that dieting is the last thing you should be thinking about. And that you need plenty of extra calories to make all the milk.

If not, just tell them to get stuffed anyway.

At about 19 weeks my brother looked sharply at my belly and asked if I was pregnant again!

Can you get your DH to have a word with his mum and let her know that even if she is joking, it's upsetting you, so can she put a sock in it?

lardylumps · 31/05/2008 10:34

Bloody hell. I put on 5 stone when pg with my dd.

I was always watching my weight before, I was a size 6 and weighted 8 1/2 to 9 stone before.

My dd is 14 months and I still weight 10 stone........

I think the way your family are behaving is terriable. You have done so well I wish I only had 9lbs still to lose rather than 1 and half stone.......

cupsoftea · 31/05/2008 10:35

bf also uses up stored energy - a great way to use up preg weight.

SmugColditz · 31/05/2008 10:36

Would it help if you fixed them with a steely glare and said "Do not be so fucking rude!"

hertsnessex · 31/05/2008 10:39

tell them where to shove it. ignore them, you are doing really well.

SpookyMadMummy · 31/05/2008 10:40

YANBU.
Take time to enjoy your baby and tell them all to feck orf!

Lizzylou · 31/05/2008 10:45

YANBU
I put on 4stone with DS1 and 5 stone with DS2.
Took me a year both times to lose the weight, which I did steadily with diet and exercise.
You are at your most sensitive at the moment so people are really mean to be "joking", however lighthearted they mean it.
Enjoy motherhood

MindingMum · 31/05/2008 10:48

reading this makes me so cross
People have no idea how hurtful and damaging these comments can be.

When my DD1 was born, my Grandad came to visit me in hospital and his first words to me were "Good, now you can get some of that weight off you"

I can't tell you how that comment made me feel - I was very young, only been married a year and had fallen pregnant whilst on the pill (that was devestating in itself as we didn't want children) and was extremely self concious about my baby weight

I cried there and then and was told by my mother that I had upset my Grandad by reacting that way!!!

All that happened when I got home and any of my family mentioned my weight (they did so often) was I would eat out of there sight, in my car or another room

You have done extremely well and tell them so and if you feel really brave point out to them that you know what you can and can't eat as you were very body concious before so to keep their noses and comments well meaning advice to themselves

madamez · 31/05/2008 10:50

Smile sweetly and then make the nastiest comments you can think of back. In a kind, caring, I'm-only-saying-it-cos-I-care way ie Mil have you ever thought of Botox? Fil what are you doing about being a baldy and can you still get it up? WIth luck one or more will splutter and say 'Don't be so rude' to which, smiling even more sweetly, you go 'Ooops. that was what I meant to say in the first place...'

ZacharyQuack · 31/05/2008 10:50

YANBU. It is never unreasonable to be upset about weight comments.

Listen to Colditz.

Dottydot · 31/05/2008 10:51

19 weeks old?! Just ignore them - stupid people. At this stage you should just be worrying about getting enough sleep and making sure you're eating enough to get through each day - it's hard work!

Can't remember which pregnancy book I read which said 9 months on, 9 months off, but it's probably true.

Be kind to yourself and ignore everyone else who isn't.

Original poster
pamelat · 31/05/2008 11:16

Stopped breast feeding 2 weeks or so back, so now a few remarks have been how now its time to watch what I eat as otherwise it will go straight on my hips etc etc

I just find it bothers me, I did leave some of the meal as a result and was then starving!!

Older generation are rude, my own grandad is even saying my litte girl has "fat" legs - she is MEANT to, she is a baby, arggghhh!!

Anyway, I feel better for knowing I am normal to be miffed by it!!

OP posts:
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