It can be hard when you don't have many close friends

[Papadopoulos78]

The schoolfriends I have don't seem bothered about me anymore, they were happy for me to pay a fortune to go to their hen dos, baby showers and so on but God forbid they should come and see me, I'm about 50 mins away, bought a home here and was trying to arrange a housewarming but they just ignored the invitations,
2 of them had a baby each and I expressed I'd love to meet their new baby at some point when they were ready, again just ignored.
I bet if I had a hen/baby shower/wedding they wouldn't even go.

I get on well with colleagues and there are occasional social events, but I'm looking to move jobs to earn more money and I'm sure it'll be a case of out of sight out of mind, I've seen it before where you move and despite best efforts they're just not interested in staying in touch.

Hobbies are a good way to meet people but I find the nature of people so flaky these days. I think I have a nice personality, I'm not a nutter, I don't think I'm super intense or desperate, I think I'm 'normal' but ghosting is so common and I'm experiencing it quite a lot.
It's just tough really, I'm mid 30s and see people my age having these 'girly nights in/out', holidays with friends and just a close bond and I just don't really have that.
I have some acquaintances I see occasionally but that's it. Feels like you've got to have an amazing, super fun, charismatic at all times personality to get people interested.

Someone will come along and tell me that being 'nice' isn't enough, you also have to be wxyz combination of things. Ok I get that, and I never said I was just nice, on the other hand I see people with lots of close friends and they aren't exactly Michael McIntyre, Einstein or Taylor Swift levels but still manage it.

Hi op I dont have big circle either. People super flaky now or the must catch up soonxx. I definitely suit myself more. I met an old school pal and she was keen to meet. Weeks to plan it. I just thought do I need all this drama!

I feel you! I used to have lots of friends, very sociable. but I'm 40 now and I have 1 "friend" that only reaches out when she wants to brag or needs to rant. Its so hard to make friends as an adult isn't it. There are sites etc, but I find that very weird. I will not reach out to anyone as they don't either. also my life has never been so peaceful x

People are definitely very, very flaky now.

Its one of my biggest issues. I'm increasingly relaxed about friendships, if people are drifting off so be it, but I find hard if people just won't ever commit to meet up in any way shape or form

Yes, this resonates. I was in a car park the other day and 2 women were outside their cars talkingn about clothes and gossip and their next meet up and I'm sad because, as much as I love DH, he doesn't care about my Primark finds and if I'm constipated or having PMS cramps and celebrity gossip for Instagram over wine. It's hard!

I just don't understand it, it's so weird. We're always reminded how we 'never know what others are going through', well they don't know that about us either and how their behaviour makes us feel?
I'm sick of this nobody owes you anything culture. They wouldn't act like that in work or with their spouse.

YANBU It has always been a mystery to me that deeply unpleasant people always seem to have a huge circle of friends.

Frustrating agree. People so flaky now. Im slow to plan things now with people. Then they dont reply. Sigh