To yearn for my old life when things were simpler?

[Footache]

I took a career break when dc1 was born 12 years ago and had 4 kids in (very) quick succession. Worked late nights part time self employed for 6 years, just enough to buffer dhs salary, doing work I enjoyed that wasn’t overly stressful. I absolutely LOVED those times. Looking back now, we lived in a smaller but turnkey house, and didn’t have loads of money, and yes, it could get stressful and monotonous with the kids. But I had such a lovely routine going, walking with the buggy every morning, then home to do some tidying, then prepping dinner.

Obvs I know there’s an element of rose tinted glasses but I so long for the simplicity of those times now. I went back to work in 2020 and threw myself into a stressful job that made me miss a good chunk of dc4s first 3 years. Ended up burnt out and had to take a year off, during which we moved to a bigger old house in the countryside, which I love, but is much harder to keep up with housework and maintenance. Plus, although I love being rural, I also miss the convenience of our old urban area.

I went back to full time work 2 years ago because a job literally fell into my lap, something that I’m very good at that’s well paid. Unfortunately the work environment has deteriorated over the past 6 months and I feel like I’m at breaking point again 🙈

I just want to be back in that old life pushing the buggy and listening to podcasts again!!

Can't really relate as the before times sounds boring and 4 children seems a bit resource greedy

You pays your money and you takes your choice 😉

This time will pass though. How lovely to have four children too.

It sounds like you really need something in the middle but not at all U to hark back to quiet times if you're burnt out now.

I found babies hard so whilst the life I lived sounds good I hated it. It became overwhelming when I went back to work so I made some changes - lowered standards in some areas, said no to things, made damn sure dh pulling his weight in all areas, considered what I wanted my life to look like and worked towards that.

So I'd say make a plan, decide what you want life to look like and the steps to get there, then begin.

You need to try and get some of that simplicity back, thats what you are missing from your life now.

Working full time with four children sounds hetic. Is there any option to reduce hours?

Thank you, it really is lovely, and we are absolutely very lucky to have all 4 of them 😀 And I am truly grateful for the time I had at home with them when they were younger, I know that some people don’t get that, and others are forced into it with no other choice.

I know it’s a situation I can get myself out of by making a decision and bringing about a change, but I just feel stuck!

I know the feeling OP.

I don’t really want to reverse time, but I do sometimes think how simple life was when I had no kids, no responsibility at work, no stuff and basically only had myself to worry about.

Unfortunately no option to reduce hours 😢 I have lowered my standards over the past few years, and Dh is great at pulling weight, but it’s still very hectic.

I know I need to to make a plan, taking the first step is always the hardest isn’t it 🙈

I think what you're feeling is really important information about how you want to live, it sounds like it's time to make some changes.

Times were simpler pushing a buggy, tidying up and cooking dinner? No, that would not be for me. Maternity leave was the most depressing time I've ever experienced ...

I know I need to to make a plan, taking the first step is always the hardest isn’t it If the first step feels too hard, then break that down into sub-steps and start there. So long as you're doing something, it's fine to take it slowly.

Just go on the Dole? Aparrently loads of people do it...

Yanbu but you need to get on with it.

and how are your DC now? At this time of year when I have a bunch of 6footers clumping around my kitchen I’m quite glad to be at work.