To have blocked old neighbour?

[Camaraderie]

Sorry, this is a bit long!

My neighbour moved a few years ago; only a few miles away. She’s a bit of an over-sharer - she always had some tale either about her own life or one of the other neighbours. I always thought she was a bit odd, but basically nice enough. However, some of the things she told me about herself didn’t really add up. I won’t go into too much detail in case it’s outing, but I’m not entirely sure everything she has told me is true.

Anyway, a few days ago I had a distressing incident where a woman recognised me from our local Facebook page. She had seemed a very odd character based on her online behaviour, and the real life version was worse. She approached me, obviously having been drinking, and started ranting about something I’d said months ago on the page. She was slurring about how I wouldn’t be so
brave when I wasn’t behind a screen; that we were going to sort this face to face. She was also shouting about how she knew all about me from my neighbour, that she could show me the messages.

I basically told her to bugger off and that I wasn’t interested in the messages, if they existed at all. I just wanted to get away from her as she was clearly deranged. The whole thing was quite disturbing.

However, when I thought about it later, I realised that amongst the nonsense and wild accusations, she’d said things that she could only know from someone I know from someone who knew me. Nothing bad or that’s a secret - just things a stranger wouldn’t know about me. This makes me think that this loon had indeed discussed me with my old neighbour, who must have told her details about me, even if she did so in all innocence. Given that she has gossiped to me about others, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that she could make me the subject.

Even though the information itself was fairly innocuous, I hate the idea of this woman knowing anything about me, or having access to anything. I did consider confronting old neighbour, but frankly I wanted the whole thing done with. Given that she’s not someone I’m close to and who I don’t even see, I decided to block her to make life easier.

I told a friend about this and she seemed surprised. She said that, given the Facebook woman is obviously unhinged, she could have just made it all up about talking to my neighbour. I said it was possible, but given that she knew things about me that she couldn’t know otherwise, unlikely. Also, to be honest, an old neighbour isn’t really an important person in my life. If someone had accused a trusted friend of gossiping about me, of course I would have given them the benefit of the doubt and asked them about it. But someone I used to just briefly chat to in the street? I simply don’t care enough about her to go into it deeply.

I think I did the right thing. Did I?

Anyone?

As a general rule of thumb, it’s always best to stay away from the mad. You’ve done the right thing and I’m sure most of your neighbors have already blocked her.

I always think that people who tittle-tattle about others will inevitably be tittle-tattling about me. You were right to block your neighbour.

You only have to justify it to yourself, I think you've been quite reasonable. Your ex-neighbour's more an aquaintence on steroids, than an actual friend.

I would drop the rope with the old neighbour if you thnk she had been tittle tattling to the crazy woman.

I have a policy of interacting as little as possible with neighbours. Thry dont even know my name and I am not on the public electoral register. I dont offer my phone number or any information about myself nor do I become involved in tittle tattle. I do use social media for my business but not under my own name and very sparingly. No personal info or images of me, Any yes, I am one of thse mumsnetters who does not pen the door unless Im expecting someone or its a courier holding a package. Neighbours can be a pain in the ass.

You did it, why do you need justification. Own the decision you made.

What do you mean, “own the decision”? It’s not like I’m pretending it didn’t happen!

Own it means accept it.

Accept what you did and stop looking for justification.It really is pointless.

Well it would be helpful to know what you said on Facebook.

Yes share it all here OP so even more people know!

It sounds like the right option @Camaraderie.
Be selective in who you share feelings/information with going forward.
🤫

I guess if it really was stuff that's completely innocuous and couldn't ever be described as a closely held secret, then I might give her the benefit of the doubt.

In that I know she's the type to gossip so I already wouldn't tell her anything private. She shared it in general chit chat with this mad woman (presumably not realising how mad she was) and then she unfortunately repeated it. It's really the mad woman at fault more than the gossip.

But by all means keep your distance if you think you'll want to share private stuff that would get spread about.

The whole situation is bizarre but jeez, your old neighbour was barely more than an acquaintance, so why on earth would you have any angst about whether it's OK to block her? Of course it's OK to block her, for any reason you want. She's just some random you happened to once live near to. Block her and forget about it.

Yep… this! ⬆️ I had a neighbour like this some time ago, and vowed to never get involved again. Far too much drama.

Eventually, I moved away and tend to keep my distance now…some folk are very strange indeed.

Same. People seem to be getting stranger imo and I’m happy to leave them as strangers.

Why? It doesn’t have any bearing on my decision to block my neighbour.

@Camaraderie because the whole situation is just weird and you’re being vague. If a random woman came up to me and starting having a go I would have to wonder if what I said on Facebook was offensive. The fact she had messages on her phone from that friend/your old neighbour is irrelevant. She’s calling you out what you said. And we don’t know what you said. The woman could be right for all we know and now you’re playing the victim. Like i said, we have no idea.

Sooo bizarre. You’re never going to see them again so just block. But I do have a feeling the op isn’t telling us everything, like why can’t she disclose what she wrote on Facebook that the woman took great offence to it.

As with every thread on this forum, we have the poster’s side. None of them are required to bring proof. The OP has made it clear she isn’t going to post that information nor should she, imo.

@PiggingBastardPigs and? Does she need validation from strangers to block the neighbour of course they don’t. I smell a whiff of attention seeking.

It’s your choice whether or not to believe the OP, I was just pointing out she doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Some people like the gossip on here though so….

But you don’t NEED to know. I wasn’t asking “Was what I said on Facebook okay?” or “Was a complete stranger drunkenly ranting at me in public and threatening me justified?”. I would kind of hope it was obvious that that sort of behaviour is not justified.

I asked purely about my decision to block my old neighbour, which was based on the fact that she had shared information about me with this madwoman, and could again. Why do you need to know any more?

I smell a whiff of attention seeking.

I don’t see how this is any more attention seeking than any of the other thousands of threads on MN.

Again, why do you need to know? It doesn’t affect things.

You did the right thing. Don’t waste any more of your energy on your decision.

Fine to block anyone you want. Sounds like a distressing experience- hope you’re okay.