Mother in law kissed all the kids bye but not my daughter, really upset

[Zaina89]

Had a family gathering tonight, my in laws are Pakistani,

I have 3 kids 9 ( 10 next week) 8 and 22 months.

my mother in law has never really “liked” my daughter, often calls and asks about my other 2 children but always leaves my eldest daughter out.

wont go into detail but you can probably gather about how she treats my daughter by what I’m about to say,

tonight we had a family gathering, all 6 grandkids where there, she kissed each grandchild good bye but blanked my daughter and didn’t give her a kiss. I looked at my daughter and my daughter looked at me and she asked me after why she was the only one her grandmother didn’t kiss bye. My daughter notices a lot recently that she doesn’t care much for her.

im really worried soon my daughter will end up with some kind of depression from the way her grandmother leaves her out, she’s the most beautiful, intelligent little girl and that’s what she is a little girl yet for some reason my mother in law really,really dislikes her

My grandma will like this with me. I was the only female grandchild and she preferred the boys. I was ridiculed, goaded and humiliated by her regularly. I have never understood how she could be so unkind to me. She was also unkind to my dad when he was a child because she preferred his brother. Awful woman.

My MIL did a milder version of this with my daughters. My MIL had two sons and she just delighted in my two sons. Whenever she saw them her face would beam with adoration but she was never as impressed with the girls. This happened from an early age.
The two boys are older than the two girls and my MIL spent more time with them when they were little then, before my first daughter was born my FIL died. None of this excuses her obvious favouritism but I think it part of the reason.
She once hugged the boys goodbye and ignored the girls. I don’t think it was purposeful but I almost think her just forgetting to say goodbye to the girls was worse than doing purposely out of spite. Being so unimportant that your MIL is indifferent to you is brutal. My husband did speak to her and she did make an effort. It did upset my girls but I think the fact we all acknowledged it help.
One funny event was when the kids were teens and we were visiting for MIL birthday. My girls had thought to buy a card without any prompting and had got the boys to sign the card too. When they gave the card to my MIL she gushingly thanked the boys and didn’t even acknowledge the girls. My boys were having none of it and scolded my MIL. It was awkward, uncomfortable and funny at the same time.

Suprises surprise! my adult kids travel hours to see my lovely Mum and regularly invite her to stay with them. They really love her and enjoy her company. However they only visit my MIL when they have to and then they only do it as a favour to my husband.