How do I stop my children from killing each other?

[apparentlyapple]

2 girls 7 and 9 absolute chalk and cheese and spend all day squabbling, arguing and physically fighting.
Both girls are lovely on their own but together they just don’t get along, never really have but things seem to be going from bad to worse and summer holidays have just exasperated it.
They have to share a room too which makes things worse but as it’s social housing and they are both girls we can’t do much about that.

all this talking about not sharing a room doesn't solve the problem,
i agree with ignore the bad behaviour, praise the good,
and it may well be boredom/attention seeking. left to their own devices i bet they are much better behaved

I think some siblings are just like that. My kids are 9 and 12, opposite sex so have their own bedroom and are exactly the same as yours. They will not leave each other alone but are constantly bickering, fighting, telling tales on each other, it drives me insane.
It feels like I've spent the last 6 weeks telling them to stay away from each other but they don't listen to me at all.
All I can do is hope they eventually grow out of it.

Just be careful it doesn't escalate.

I didn't even have to share a room after being 5 but by then my sibling had already broken my nose. Once we moved and I had my own room I the had another broken nose, a broken finger (that never set right) and the worse one was holding a pillow over my face very hard, how I got out of that I still don't. My parents just thought I was clumsy but I think I tried to pass it off as playing when it wasn't.

I don't know op but I would say mine all have their own rooms and get still fight all the time.

We've tried different things and they work for a while but then something triggers one and the other two can't hold their tongue so it just escalates.

Myself amd younger sister never got on very well. As adults after our Mother died we just stopped seeing each other, no big debate, no saying what we thought. It’s six years now, made easy by a big geographical distance. I get on really well with my other 3 sisters.

Sometimes it's the way they think they have to behave. They were like this when younger but haven't adapted their use of communication to match their current age and skills.

Splitting their room isn't likely but also this provides an opportunity. What are their communication skills now? What are the challenges? How can parents create a plan with them to improve the current situation? Incentives for being respectful of others belongings, being pleasant (better to say nothing than be unkind or rude), etc. Noticing and verbalising when they work together, get them to say nice things about each other at the dinner table "what did you like about your sister today?" helps break down the feelings that this is a constant issue.

Sometimes parents can become frustrated when yet another disagreement is developing but demonstrating patience and a spirit of "lets work together to unpick it so that we can get along" can be helpful.

One of the things that we used to say to our DC was about what it was like to have to listen to them speak to each other the way they did. We asked them how they would feel if me and their dad spoke to each other the same way how they would feel about it.

Did you have your own room as a child OP?

Do you have any aspirations and ambitions to give your DC their own bedrooms by changing the house you live in?

I had to share a bedroom with my siblings and my DH had to share a bed! Because of this we both worked really hard and moved areas to make sure our DC had their own rooms and bathrooms.