To make my DD push through ?

[uncredible]

My DD14 is brilliant but is prone to trying to ‘get out’ of school/ training when she is tired or a bit under the weather.

We are 4 days into school and tonight she doesn’t want to go to training as she has cramps (day 4 of period so i’m surprised as she normally doesn’t really suffer) To add some context her Dad is the coach and is having a rare evening off meeting friends.

What would you do. Put the foot down and send her (cue screaming) or just let her sit it out. I think I know the answer which is send her ???

Training for what? Will her absence let anyone down?

I think you're near the end of 'putting your foot down' for training to be honest, whatever the training is for. Pick your battles as they say.

Push on through for school - yes. Activity / hobby training - No and yes she'll have to reap the consequences, but that's part of growing up

Well yes, they are starting a championship this weekend and she’s on the 1st team so they need to prepare.

Also her Dad is the main coach and a team of volunteers manage these sessions. I think unless they are genuinely ill the girls need to show up.

If the training is part of a wider commitment then she soldiers on through, otherwise she should consider giving up that commitment.

If its paid for, she goes, end of!

Depends. Is it a hobby she was pushed into doing because her Dad is the coach? Has she lost interest? If so then don't send her. If it's because she wants to do it at other times other than being tired then yes should go. Either commit or don't it at all really. Period pain is awful obviously and it depends on the activity really.

Unless genuine make her go..

Sounds to me like she’s only doing it because her dad is the coach.

No she does enjoy it and is very good at it but she does tend to want an easy life to be honest

Then off she goes.

Id say if she doesn't train she doesn't play at weekend. Her choice

It's a tricky one.
On one hand, commitment and resilience are big lessons that sports can teach, and especially in team sports if you're on the squad you need to learn not to let your team mates down. I coach a sport and by 14 I do expect that the kids who want to compete are regulars at training. So I understand the "make her go" approach.
But she's 14 and the drop out rate for participation in all sports and exercise is huge in teenage girls. If you want to keep her engaged then gentle handling may be more successful than forcing her to go.
Also, being the coach's kid can be awkward so I might be inclined to delve a bit deeper into why she's not wanting to go. Coaches' kids often good, both because of genetic factors and because they have usually been exposed to the sport from an early age and more intensively than their peers because they tend to tag along with Mum or Dad even before they're really old enough to play. So the sport can become a big part of their lives by default but as they get into their teens they sometimes realise that actually they don't love it. There's a lot of pressure on teens to continue with something they're good at and have done for a long time and if your parent is the coach then there's added pressure. There are sometimes also difficult relationships with other team members to navigate if your parent is the coach, ranging from people thinking that you're only on the team because you're the coach's kid, to having unreasonable expectations of a higher standard from you for the same reasons. Friendships can also be tricky, some team mates may feel they can't trust you as you'll report what they say back to your parent and others may be trying to use you to curry favour with your parent. There are all kinds of reasons why a teenage girl might start to go off a sport and when it's a sport that clearly means a lot to Mum and Dad things can be even more complicated.
Unfortunately, if she's anything like most of the teenagers I know she probably won't come straight out and say "Dad, I know this really means a lot to you but I'm sorry, I want to do X instead" or "I really love the sport but Mary and Jane are making my life miserable" or "When you're not there Dad Coach Susan is really hard on me and says she expects more of me than the others" or any number of other possible reasons. Of course none of those things might be the case, but in my experience when kids, especially teens start "not feeling well" it's usually either a precursor to them dropping out or a significant that there's some kind of problem that I haven't spotted yet. It's something that usually triggers me to do a little bit of investigation, especially if it's a new behaviour.

I used to say if you miss school you miss training and if you're well enough for school, you're well enough for training. Training was the incentive and school wasn't.

I assume as she’s 14 she’s in Year 10?

Why does she even have to do ‘training?’

She must be rising 15. Let her choose.

Another consideration is that the menstrual cycle does affect athletic performance even in women and girls who don't have any particular problems with their periods so she might genuinely not be feeling good.

Well despite my reservations, she got very upset, crying etc so I let her stay off.

I just need to keep an eye on this becoming a pattern