Why can't people take no for an answer?

[Whattodo76]

If I dont want to do something, I'm not going to do it. I will always be polite. For example work drinks, I have said no. I get messages saying please please just come for one. No? Ive said no.

I have no idea. I wish people would though or at least think before going on at you. Sometimes I can’t afford to go to things so say no. I don’t want to tell them I’m skint and for them to either feel sorry for me or offer to get me a few drinks or whatever. Just no.

Meh, couldn't get worked up about being invited out.
I'd be more annoyed at someone repeatedly asking to borrow money or my children constantly asking for sweets, toys etc every time we leave the house!

Ive even given a reason, not that I should have to. Ive got something important the next day that I cant be hungover for. Im still getting messages saying come for one. Leave me alone

Im not annoyed about being invited. Im annoyed that I've said no, given a reason and im still being nagged.

Had this recently. Turned down an event due to it being Sunday night and I didn’t want to go as I work Mondays.

The host then spent the week leading up to it, harassing my husband by text. Still not taking no for an answer.

Then she told my daughter that the reason I wasn’t going was because I was losing weight for my DD’s non existent wedding and I didn’t want cake! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Since then I’ve posted daily cakes on fb as a passive aggressive hint that I know what she said. The cakes aren’t all mine. My colleagues have sent me some too 🤣

It has truly irritated me.

Are you one of those people who are the life and soul when you are out? My sister is like that, when she is out she makes the whole night more fun somehow. She’s always got people pestering her to go out. Not just nights out but days out with the kids, holidays, hen ‘dos. You might be one of those people who everyone wants around.

I've got that too. Friends insisting on inviting me to take part of an activity they enjoy (which I don't), over and over and over. I keep saying no, perfectly happy to watch them from afar doing it but I don't want to. They say it's fun and I should give it a go. Forgetting that i did give it a go and i hated it. I ended up having to snap at them last time we went out. I love them and want to spend time with them but I wish they took me more seriously when I say I hate their activity. Good for them, it's just not for me.

Like some of the posters up thread I am more likely to become annoyed if I have said "no" and someone continues to pester me. I try to obviate this by making it as difficult as possible for people to contact me. I have found that if/when they do I use the classic mumsnet "no that doesnt work for me so I will leave it with you" and walk away.

Or, when someone asked if I could teach them how to sell on Ebay something like📧

"Ive never thought of doing that commercially but if I ever do I will give you a price."

I find that an effective conversation stopper.

No, wouldnt describe myself as life and soul.

Just tune them out. Don’t answer. They won’t keep asking unless you keep answering.

I have a friend who seems to think that it’s the highlight of my year to look after her children. She was going away and once asked if I could stay in her house and look after her kids while she was away for two nights with work claiming it would be nice for me because they have a spa pool. (I have no kids)

I said I couldn’t as I had long hours at work to finish a project so unlikely to be home before 7pm and loads of things on generally. Her response was ‘that’s fine Joan next door can look after them between them getting home from school and you getting to the house’.

I said well it could be even later than 7 and so can’t do it sorry and she said ‘oh they’ll be okay alone for an hour or so they’ll just be on their computers they’re dead easy don’t worry’

I responded saying essentially ‘no I haven’t got the time or the headspace given work is so manic’ and her response was ‘why don’t you ask if you can WFH?’

Fuck off! I said no three times!

This infuriates me too, but for different reasons

Do you want some help with that? ..no I'm good thanks..gets up and helps anyway

Do you want me to grab that thing from the shop? No thanks, I'm going tomorrow I'll get it then. Goes shop and gets it anyway.

Why does it annoy me?? Because I have to be eternally grateful for the help I didn't want in the first place, or for thing I wanted to get myself!

Ahh, when you give a reason it gives them room to negotiate.

No, I don’t want to leaves no room for negotiation. Or just “no”. It is, after all, a complete sentence.