To not want to show people around my bedroom?

[Isaweirdo]

For various reasons DH and I have very recently moved back to his hometown in a rental house. We are now much closer to the majority of his family and friends. Our previous house wasn’t really near anyone so we had little to no visitors at all.

I love his family and friends so I am very happy to have them over and also happy to visit their houses. I understand people want to see where we live but our downstairs consists of a nice lounge, a downstairs bathroom, a kitchen and a dining room. There’s plenty of room and no need for anyone to go upstairs. I keep finding people coming over and wanting a tour of the house and I’ve had to call them down from the stairs several times as I don’t see why they need to go up there. We are still unpacking so upstairs consists of loads of boxes and literally just bedrooms. Am I being really weird about this? I just don’t understand why they want a guided tour of the bedrooms. We don’t own the house, we haven’t done it up so we have nothing to show off up and there’s no reason for them to be up there.

They come down when I call them but I definitely get some eye rolls and several times I’ve been asked if they can see upstairs. I’m happy to be told I’m being unreasonable here and maybe a bit precious but I just don’t see why they need to be up there, especially when we have a downstairs bathroom! I certainly don’t expect a guided tour of the upstairs of someone’s house when I go to visit!

This astonishes me. Never once have I ever been given a tour of anyone's home or expected to have one. Is it really a thing? Maybe they think I'm light fingered or something and keep in in the living room at all times😁

YANBU but this has happened to us plenty of times too. People have even opened our fridge during a ‘tour’. I’ve come to accept that when anybody new comes to our home, I better make sure the kids bedrooms are tidy as they may well want a tour. I never do this at others!

Everyone I know does this when they move to a new home, they are usually excited to show it. Obviously it should be fine for you to say no if you aren't comfortable with it though.

I have never understood this when I moved many years ago I had certain family members wanting to see every room and even storage cupboards my sister is a nightmare for it.
I just wouldn’t dream of going around someone’s home looking in each room I go to see the person not the house unless they’ve had work done and are wanting to show it (I had a friend who had a loft conversion and she want wanted to show me) other than that no

How weird! No-one has ever offered me a tour of their house and I’ve never shown anyone around my upstairs, apart from the bathroom.
Why on earth do you want to see other peoples bedrooms? 🤷‍♀️

Unless it’s very close family who’ve just moved - and they want to show me - TBH I’m not remotely interested in seeing all over other people’s houses. We once visited an ex colleague of dh and his wife, and right after we’d driven for 3 hours to their house, they proceeded to give us ‘the tour’ for what seemed forever, when I couldn’t GAF about their decor and was dying for a cup of tea - or a G&T!

No need to ask you can just look on Zoopla

No its not a Scottish thing I've never done it nor has anyone I've ever met

In my experience whenever have gone to someone’s new place they have given guided tour including bedrooms so don’t think is that unusual. But also can respect you might not want to which others should be okay with too if you are asking them not to go upstairs.

This is so alien to me. Every time I’ve ever been over to see someone’s new home, they’ve shown me around. It’s literally part of the reason they invited me over on that particular occasion. I’d feel bloody rude if I didn’t turn up with a pot plant and exclaim ‘give me the tour then!’ followed by enthusiastic praise of their new pride and joy! My whole circle of family and friends are the same.

I’ve also always expected to show people around so have made sure my undies are away and made the bed 🤷‍♀️

I guess for me it’s an “I’ve moved house, big deal”.

Never have invited anyone around to specifically see it after we’ve moved in. To me it’s bricks and mortar and nothing more, certainly not my pride and joy.

Why WOULDN’T you?!

Same as looking to see what next door sold for on Rightmove, or peering through someone’s garden gate if it’s open or through empty knotholes if it isn’t to see what they’ve done to the garden, or a look down into basement flat windows as you’re passing, a good gawp in the evening when the lights go on but before the curtains are closed. Other people’s houses are fascinating! 👀

I think it’s quite normal when you live someone new for people to want to look around. They won’t do it every time they visit!

I’m with you on this op! I think it’s quite rude to expect to see people’s bedrooms! It’s certainly rude to go upstairs without being invited!

If it makes you feel uncomfortable then YANBU, that's how you feel. Just tell them you haven't unpacked yet upstairs, or distract them with a drink if they're really determined? Personally I don't mind letting people look around my house though and I minded even less when I lived in rentals and wasn't responsible for any weird decor choices etc!

I'm not Scottish, but my experience is that it is absolutely normal to show people round when you've moved into a new home.

My take is that people are supporting you in your excitement by showing an interest is the way I look at it. I was excited to show people round each of the places I've lived, so I presume other people are excited when they get their own new places too.

Ultimately, it's your home and you can refuse if you want, but unless you've turned your bedroom into an S&M dungeon and prefer to keep that quiet, I can't see why bedrooms are such a secret.

We only showed family the bedrooms when we bought our house and then only for the first few weeks.

Nope, I'm with you on this. Hate people roaming around my upstairs.

I remember that in the 70s when I was a kid, your parents would get the tour I tagged on because I was a nosey little bugger.
Also in Scotland.

Annoyingly my friends tend to have very lovely homes 😂 they genuinely are fab to look around. We are also all at the life stage of actually having work done rather than move so it’s a constant topic of (probably dull to an outsider) conversation about this or that conversion/extension so it’s natural to show each other what’s been done.

We never look round houses and if I am offered a tour I decline. If I stay at a friend’s home then you get to know the place. But otherwise, no. I really don’t want this: I find it awkward and performative. Unless it’s Chatsworth, no tour.

We've renovated a completely derelict home we never lived in. I've only offered a tour to close friends/family and would personally never ask for a tour in someone's home. I find that IF I show my bedroom, I open the door and stay standing there. Its rare that anyone proceeds into the room.

MIL is the worst. She said her neighbour, a carpenter, wanted to buy our old floor boards. We'd never met him. He had no intention of buying any wood! MIL then says 'Well aren't you going to show him around?'.

Another time, MIL met randoms that even she had never met, at a community fayre. They happened to live near her so gave her a lift home. She detoured them to our house with the full intent in telling us to give them a tour. DH accosted them on the drive and stopped them coming in. The bloody cheek of some people.

I think it’s quite normal to get a tour when you’ve just moved on, but not for people to routinely go upstairs afterwards.

I find it a bit strange that as soon as people move they immediately invite everyone round to have a look, even if you never get invited round any other time of the year! It just seems a little….show-offy. I mean, they don’t invite you round to see their new car/tv/sofa do they 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’ve had work done and I’ll redecorate quite often if I am bored with a room, but it doesn’t cross my mind to show anyone if they come around.