When someone is stonewalling you

[ratatouille99]

What is the best way to respond? For example, a friend/acquaintance who you've always got on with ok in social settings, but now to your face will now speak to you and you don't know why?

I've never had anything like this before, and want to message to ask if she's ok or if I've done something, but know that it could leave me feeling wildly more anxious if she doesn't reply.

Also worried that we are in social settings together a lot and if I message her she may just start talking about me to other people about whatever it is I've said/done.

Honestly don't know what I've done wrong.

Honestly, just move on and don’t give it another thought. My whole family decided to do this to me as I removed myself from their lives as my mother is just evil. They told everyone awful lies about me and I refuse to waste energy trying to get the truth out. It’s worth being the villain in their story for the peace in my own life.

Honestly I would just see her face to face and ask her directly if there is anything wrong.

I think this is probably the best thing to do!

If you don't know what you've done wrong then chances are you haven't done anything wrong. What she is doing is a red flag, don't start running after her. If you say something do it in public in front of people you trust, and say something like 'I don't know why you are ignoring me. Is there is something you need to talk to me about?' Say it in a calm, matter of fact voice, don't get drawn into arguments or long discussions.

I'm following this thread with interest as this is what my neighbour has done to me despite us being previously friendly. I pet sit for her, helped move furniture, went for walks, the kids played together, the works. I have tried to approach her twice and she's just turned her back on me. Her husband just looks through me with a really aggressive look on his face and the children now keep their heads down even when I say hello to them. I know the catalyst; my other neighbours had a fight with them but we were not involved with it. I want to message but feel like the anxiety of having a blue tick with no reply will be worse. I hate being thought of or blamed for something I haven't done.

I'd also appreciate advice on what to do! It's hard as our kids get on well and our wee four year old keeps asking if he can play with their four year old but they just won't even look at us now. I try and acknowledge them and wave but they just stare straight through us, even when I'm letting them pass in the single track road.

Life is too short to worry about what to do in these situations. If you inadvertently offend someone, they can tell you. If they’d rather give you the silent treatment, just ignore them until they grow up - although it might take a few years!

What is the best way to respond?

The best way to respond is to accept that they don't want to talk to you, and move on.

I know it's hard when you don't know what their problem is with you, but if someone doesn't want to talk to you... ultimately it's their right to make that choice, and it's best just to respect it and put it out of your mind if you can. I'm not saying it's easy - none of us like not knowing what we're meant to have done wrong and it's hurtful to be treated like that - but the only appropriate response is no response.