To ask if I have a case to report this colleague at work?

[Freak0000]

I used to work in the same office but a different team, I now work in the same building but a different office.
He's early 50s and I'm mid 30s. Started off being friendly and talking about hobbies, work etc.
He was also friendly with another male colleague of mine, I was happy to chat around the office occasionally and on Teams.
Made sure to mention my partner and took my time to reply, I was polite but made sure there was no suggestion that would be anything else.
He told me I had 'really nice teeth' and was 'really slim' , and I just felt uncomfortable.

I said I'd been swimming and he kept referring to 'breast stroke' and then 'pussy cats' when I mentioned my cat.
I was mentioning something about my contract and he said something like 'I reckon you like being in control"

He's a dirty perv but I know it's all very subtle. I just completely ignored his messages and he hasn't interacted with me since, luckily I don't see him around.
He followed me on social media and sent me 2 pervy 'joke memes' , 1 about sex, and 1 about boobs.
I just ignored and removed him.
As I say it's all very subtle so don't know what I could do? I've been advised to give him a warning but I find that these types try to gaslight you and say they were only joking and you need to chill out.

Also because the Social media memes happened out of working hours and they're not on a work platform.

Warn him, with a witness, then when he says he was only joking make it clear you don’t find it funny and would like it to stop. It is unprofessional.

no doubt he will whinge to others, but they must know what he’s like too.

and block him on SM.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I am all for banter but this seems like he’s trying to intimidate you.

My way of dealing with him would be stare him straight in the eye and quietly but firmly say ‘ I know what you are trying to do and it won’t fucking work’ without anyone else overhearing. However that’s something I’m comfy doing and I get you might not be.

He sounds like a total bell end.

Where is the subtlety?

Email him clearly stating that his communication is inappropriate and you only want to communicate in relation to work activities in work and he is not to make contact with you on SM. You are keeping records of the inappropriate comments he has made and any further instances will result in a complaint/escalation.

Then follow through if he continues.

Revolting man. I would send him an email saying “please stop contacting me outside work and making sexually inappropriate jokes”. I would copy somebody from HR.

Well I thought because he hadn't used an overtly sexual term towards me there may not be a case but indeed the memes are not subtle...he makes my skin crawl

Block him on all your social media and next time you bump into him at work, if he says something creepy like pussycat etc just tell him that you find him odd and he makes your skin crawl…
That should sort him out..

I have chaired disciplinary hearings where we have taken social media messaging into the hearing. This resulted in dismissal for the man who was harassing multiple women in and out of the workplace
I'd report him to HR

This - you dont need to go in to details. But keep a record of what you have sent

Do you still have the messages and memes as evidence? I wouldn't try to warn him I'd go straight to your line manager or HR and let them deal with it. I'm in my 50s. None of this was acceptable 20 years ago and he's an absolute idiot to think he can get away with it nowadays- doesn't matter if it's not on a work platform. HR can advise you on what to do- it's what they are there for. Trying to deal with it yourself can make it worse.

I'd go to my line manager, too. I wouldn't deal with him directly. What's the point? He's show you complete disrespect. Itemise all the things he's done and take it with any evidence to your line manager and say you want to make a complaint.

If you showed your message to HR he absolutely would / should be subject to at least a warning. I’d tell him it isn’t 1975 anymore and to shut up, but the HR route might be more effective!

As PPs have said, emailing him telling him that his behaviour is unacceptable. Keep the email. If it happens again, report him to HR. A man in his 60s in my workplace behaving like this with a woman in her late 20s or early 30 was sacked for this.

Block him on socials and give him a warning.

@Freak0000 no idea what social media platform you use but pretty sure you can block anyone you want! do not accept people you dont like!

Block him. Warn him. Then HR.

Raise it with HR, even if they can't directly do anything on your case they'll 100% take social media memes into account. And likely there'll be other people who'll come forward at some point and it all adds up. If he's a union rep they'll potentially recommend he leaves before there's anything on record

Another vote for HR, you probably aren't the only female employee he's harassing. It's not banter, it's crude, unnecessary and you should not have to put up with it.

I find that these types try to gaslight you and say they were only joking and you need to chill out.

He probably will say that, but you would then be perfectly within your rights to say 'I know you were only joking, but I'm not comfortable with those kinds of jokes from a colleague. I don't care if you think I need to chill out, but you do need to stop.'

I would have reported the social media jokes to HR (if they were openly sexual as you've said). It doesn't matter that it's not a work platform, it's massively inappropriate and it gives weight to other comments he has made in the office.