Flakes R US

[Freak0000]

I don't think I'm being unreasonable so I suppose it's just a rant.
I know nobody owes anyone anything and so on, but are you only supposed to have conversation and interaction with people in your immediate vicinity? If acquaintances and so on don't respond are you meant to accept that as normal and just accept not speaking with many people?

Friend recently had second baby, about 2 months ago. I guess it's unreasonable to let them know you'd love to come and meet their new baby whenever they feel ready for it, yes I know theyre overwhelmed and tired etc. But they've been posting plenty on social media, 2 weeks ago and no reply. I should've just shown zero interest.

I'm renting my home out and a lad came to view it, told me he wanted to take it and put down holding deposit etc. , I sent him the details and never heard from him again. He could've sent a quick message saying sorry I've changed my mind?

A childhood family friend who also had a baby, as a family we sent her a gift and never even got a thank you, another one where I said I'd love to meet her baby and never heard back again?

I must frighten young children, or these people perhaps don't want anyone other than their 'little family bubble' involved?

I leave it a few weeks if babies small. I do agree op oh we super busy. Then glued to social media. I tried a few meetups recently just felt nobody committed. Its def more flaky now yeh nobody owes me anything but manners are gone

I can 100% see why people don't reply to you

"Time on mumsnet has shown me that the last thing mothers of babies want is people messaging them or suggesting coming over/meeting up. Especially if said people are not mothers themselves!"

OMG, people in real life aren't as unfriendly.
And as for, rejecting any friends who are not mothers themselves...

I agree with you OP. It only takes half a minute to reply to a text or a WhatsApp. These people are just rude.

When you have a baby you have an endless stream of people wanting to visit or meet up so that on top of the fact your body has just been through something extremely traumatic and you have a tiny new human to learn how to care for it can be very overwhelming remembering to reply to everyone, organise visits or say thank you for a present.

This in SPADES! Bringing home a newborn isn't all sitting cuddled on the sofa, drinking tea and receiving visitors! Your body is bruised and bleeding, you're horrifically sleep deprived, possibly trying to establish breastfeeding, working out how to change nappies, dress them, wind them, sterilise shit, deal with the health visitor, feed and shower yourself and get both you and the baby out for some fresh air.

We didn't even open the presents that arrived for about 2 weeks because we were in the trenches, then we didn't write cards for another 2 months, because when you barely have time to go to the toilet or get dressed you are not prioritising sending a lovely handwritten card with a photo to everyone who's kindly sent a present. They can wait. Your screaming baby or leaking maternity pad cannot.

You also get about 100 text messages when you give birth from pretty much everyone you know, many of whom want to come over. I wanted to spend time looking after my new baby, not glued to whatsapp arranging visits and then dealing with visitors gawping at me and wanting cups of tea.

Kindly, you need to back off the new mums.

Having a baby is a really intense time, it doesn't help that lots of people are only interested in a new mum when the baby is fresh, and will want to be their best friend until the novelty of said new baby wears off. If you don't speak often to these friends, they could be keeping you at arms length for this reason to protect themselves from feeling isolated in a few weeks.

Sometimes a lack of contact is a temporary thing while people adjust. I have an only child, but all my friends have 2+ kids. I've noticed contact naturally lessens in the first 6 months, and then gradually increases. It's not personal. They're just adjusting to their new normal.

Oh and for the record social media isn't indicative of how busy/available someone is. I know lots of parents of infants who will upload on social media really late at night when the baby is awake, but who will only keep close contact with their immediate circle on a day to day basis, because keeping a new human alive is incredibly overwhelming and time consuming.