Hi, so a but of context. Myself and my ex coparent our 4 year old son, there is nothing formal in place but we have recently attended mediation, i took him as he kept threatening 50/50 and I was sick of the manipulative tactics. Anyway, one good thing that came out of it was the use of a shared calender, which reduces communication. We both work full time, him shifts, myself office hours but due to pressure at work sometimes more. Currently, my ex is meant to put dates into the calender im advance, as he knows his pattern well in advance. Can I ask how people decide school holidays etc. ive told him he will have to cover some weeks as I dont have the leave (who does). But aside from holidays im the one who always is the default if there is no childcare. I dont think it even enters his head.
Tomorrow I have had to withdraw from a senior level presentation because we have nobody, yet he can just swan off to work. I feel this whole thing is controlling, he dictates his days and I have to just work theough him. I tried to establish a fixed routine in mediation, but he just rejected all suggestions because he thinks he can only submit flexible working if its shared care, which I have said no too due to travelling distance and our son being so young. I also dont think his reasons are genuine.
Hes put himself down for mainly weekends next month, no pickups from school for three weeks. Im really worried about what im going to do once hes at school! I can use wrap around, but again I dont want to put too much on him all at once.
any advice?