Husband never takes kids out

[Ella19902]

My husband never takes our 7 and 4 year kids old out anywhere. At weekends I am doing all the party and activity drop off/pick ups and taking them to the park etc. My husband never takes them anywhere on his own. On an occasion I’ve got something on one weekend, I will get back home at the end of the day and find that they’ve just stayed in the house all day with tv on and as such they are both wired and restless. I am absolutely exhausted and feel I am never at home on my own. I’ve tried to make some suggestions to him about places he could take them too but he just doesn’t engage. The worst thing is that I never get any time at home to myself so our house is messy all the time as I struggle to get much housework done. I’m really frustrated - when I’m out at the park and parties etc I see lots of other dads out on their own with their kids and I just wish my husband would be more involved.
AIBU for feeling frustrated?

I saw a great quote earlier today, roughly along the lines of…

“Marry someone who wants to be a husband and father, not someone who wants a wife and kids”.

Your husband is pointless.

Ironically you’d probably get more free time if you were separated.

Have you communicated this?

I honestly couldn’t be with someone like that, I’d find them so utterly pathetic.

Sorry, OP. Must be infuriating.

It’s also sad that your time alone is to clean up!!
have you spoken to him about it?

My kids are 11 and 14 and my husband has never taken them anywhere
Its always been a huge bug bear of mine. He was very engaged with them in the home and if we went out as a family but he just would not/will not take them out alone.
He is not a social person at all and didn't want to go anywhere where there would be chit chat with other parents such as parties, on the football side lines, picking up from brownies, etc.
I did everything and still do. My daughter is very close to him as shes a home body so they do spend quality time together within the home.
But my son is very active, sporty and likes being out and about. My husband has had 14 years of opportunity to play football with him, take him fishing, to matches, whatever and never has. My son feels very disconnected from him and has very often felt upset as he saw other dads doing these things with their sons. It made him and me very close as I took on the role of mum and dad. Unfortunately now they hardly have any relationship at all, husband pays for everything but they hardly even speak to each other. Its horrible and I berate myself daily for picking this man as their father .

Get a cleaner and a babysitter, tell DH he is paying. Take yourself off for a lovely day of shopping, then go for dinner with friends. I’d basically make a habit of dumping them on him every other weekend and leave a list of instructions, i.e take them to party at x o’clock.

Its laziness .. tell him to start taking them to the park it will do himself good to walk in fresh air ... surely he will see the kids enjoyment and know it's good for them.
He might get talking to other dads ... is it because he is in work he wants to just sit around the house I'd go crazy doing that.

If the house is a mess because you’re out all weekend with the kids why isn’t he sorting the house out? Does he just sit on arse and wait for you to do everything for him? How have you put up with that?

Same here. Our daughter is now a teenager and he complains that she doesn’t talk to him
or want to spend and time with him, and it’s because he never made the effort when she was young. And still doesn’t now.
Let your husband know that his future relationship with his kids is in his hands, they won’t chase him for long.

He sounds like a shit dad and a shit spouse.

How do so many useless men find wives?

I say this all the time. Too many men want wives and children but don’t want to be husbands and fathers.

My ex husband wouldn’t take the children anywhere alone in case ‘people’ thought he was a single dad or unemployed.
He is a single dad now.

Why are you still with him!