Page 2 | Would you move back home if you could be mortgage free?

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 2025-08-27T13:35:06+00:00

Live abroad, we were able to buy a house years ago at a great price in a wealthy area. We have £100 K owing on the mortgage (we’re mid 40’s) Recently had it valued and we’d be able to sell with a profit of enough to buy a house outright back home in the uk (nothing fancy but enough for us-two adults, one Dc and Ddog) so we’d have no mortgage, car already bought, with just bills, food, petrol to pay for each month. We wouldn’t be able to sell and get anything better where we are as it’s all very expensive. There are many other positives for wanting to return to the uk, but being able to be mortgage free is surely a no brainer? Dh doesn’t agree

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:26

So where you live…
no decent school
no sense of community
and unfriendly

what drew you to the country in the first place?
do you speak the language?

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:27

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 18:26

He wants to stay where we are, his parents have sadly passed and he says mine won’t be around forever and we can’t live life for others. He doesn’t want to be back in the uk

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So he does regard the country you’re in as having a decent local school for his child? Sense of community? Friendly? Or he’s not bothered about those features?

Original poster

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 18:28

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:26

So where you live…
no decent school
no sense of community
and unfriendly

what drew you to the country in the first place?
do you speak the language?

Edited

I speak the language

We do live in a nice neighbourhood, but I know I can get that in Cornwall too

Schools are awful, Dc would do better in the uk and enjoy school more i’m sure

We came before Dc, now it’s not about us as much as it is about her

OP posts:

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:29

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 18:28

I speak the language

We do live in a nice neighbourhood, but I know I can get that in Cornwall too

Schools are awful, Dc would do better in the uk and enjoy school more i’m sure

We came before Dc, now it’s not about us as much as it is about her

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So the schools where you live are “awful” and your husband is fine with his child attending nonetheless?

Original poster

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 18:30

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:27

So he does regard the country you’re in as having a decent local school for his child? Sense of community? Friendly? Or he’s not bothered about those features?

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He thinks school is fine, but doesn’t have much knowledge of the schools here or in the uk (I’m a former teacher and have much more involvement)
He thinks some people are friendly, some less so, he feels it’s a big uprooting, but that’s not a reason to just simply stay

OP posts:

ExtraOnions · 27/08/2025 18:33

We are Mortgage Free, and I love it. It was paid off when I was 49 & DH was 58. There is just so much less pressure. Whey restructuring was happening at work, I was not worried about it, because I wasn’t worried about the money. I’m 53 now, and thinking about when to retire.

pilates · 27/08/2025 18:34

From what you have described, yes.

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:37

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 18:30

He thinks school is fine, but doesn’t have much knowledge of the schools here or in the uk (I’m a former teacher and have much more involvement)
He thinks some people are friendly, some less so, he feels it’s a big uprooting, but that’s not a reason to just simply stay

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Happy marriage? Are you planning on digging your heels on this or do you think he will?
when is your daughter due to start school?

he is ignoring his teacher wife telling him the education system in the country they reside in is shit?

Meadowfinch · 27/08/2025 18:39

If it would give my child a better future, yes, I'd move without hesitation.

Does the country you are in give your DD an opportunity to build her own life. Or is it somewhere women have fewer rights? Is it safe? Is it somewhere with guns and violence. Those are the things I would look at.

Why does your dh want to stay? Just a dislike of upheaval or are there lifestyle aspects he prefers? More money? Warmer weather? Or just selfishness?

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 18:41

Meadowfinch · 27/08/2025 18:39

If it would give my child a better future, yes, I'd move without hesitation.

Does the country you are in give your DD an opportunity to build her own life. Or is it somewhere women have fewer rights? Is it safe? Is it somewhere with guns and violence. Those are the things I would look at.

Why does your dh want to stay? Just a dislike of upheaval or are there lifestyle aspects he prefers? More money? Warmer weather? Or just selfishness?

Me too
sod all the other issues
I’d be heading back even if I wouldn’t be mortgage free
no way would I be accepting a shit education for my child because i enjoyed the lifestyle of a country
and wouldn’t respect my spouse if they thought differently

Original poster

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 19:05

Some people think it’s a good education here, I know 100% she’d be happier and thrive more in the British system
Thankfully, it’s very safe where we are, safer than the uk, however, I would only move back to Cornwall, nowhere else and i’d say it’s a safe place?
Warmer weather is a plus yes, but it’s not above the other things, I also miss proper seasons, admittedly we’ll probably find winters hard at first

OP posts:

Tracklement · 27/08/2025 19:10

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 27/08/2025 19:05

Some people think it’s a good education here, I know 100% she’d be happier and thrive more in the British system
Thankfully, it’s very safe where we are, safer than the uk, however, I would only move back to Cornwall, nowhere else and i’d say it’s a safe place?
Warmer weather is a plus yes, but it’s not above the other things, I also miss proper seasons, admittedly we’ll probably find winters hard at first

“Some people” aren’t his teacher wife who is the mother of his child

How do you reckon this is going to be resolved op? When is your child due to start school?

Tracklement · 28/08/2025 06:10

Going to presume that actually there are issues within the marriage.

OP, I’d be researching homes, schools etc in Cornwall (well not Cornwall for me, but that is your chosen location) and present to your husband. You don’t cover jobs etc so presuming they are transferable? Either way, this is your child’s education and future and you think the education is “shit” in the country you reside. If your DH ignores his teacher wife on this issue…. Well, I’d be researching divorce lawyers

Charlotte120221 · 28/08/2025 06:32

If you live abroad, then the UK house is not your main residence.

if you sell it then the capital gain crystallises and there will be a tax bill to pay.

so you might not have as much to spend as you think.

Hairshare · 28/08/2025 08:35

Being mortgage free is a nice feeling and frees up money for other things, but it’s not the holy grail of happiness.

mamagogo1 · 28/08/2025 08:37

Depends on so many things, just do the overall maths. I moved back myself as living abroad wasn’t easy and health care was crippling us

Tracklement · 28/08/2025 08:46

Charlotte120221 · 28/08/2025 06:32

If you live abroad, then the UK house is not your main residence.

if you sell it then the capital gain crystallises and there will be a tax bill to pay.

so you might not have as much to spend as you think.

I think you’ve misunderstood what the op is thinking here

Brothisbest · 28/08/2025 14:51

Yes quite clearly this is an Op with more to share regarding her marriage but doesn’t seem to be able to yet

Original poster

Wasthatanautumnbreeze · 28/08/2025 18:18

Charlotte120221 · 28/08/2025 06:32

If you live abroad, then the UK house is not your main residence.

if you sell it then the capital gain crystallises and there will be a tax bill to pay.

so you might not have as much to spend as you think.

I know, they do take a large amount, but its still just about doable

OP posts: