To think women complain about patriarchy but benefit from it just as much as men?

[ThisJustGreyFinch]

Yes, patriarchy disadvantages women. But AIBU to think some women benefit too - being financially supported, not expected to fight wars, lighter prison sentences, custody bias?

Women benefit as much as men? Yabu and ridiculous

No.

Financially supported = taking the greater load in bringing up his kids.

Not expected to fight wars. What? Is that a regular issue for you? Assuming that we did jump into an old style total war next week do you really think that women would be safe from the impacts?

Lighter sentences. More information needed, compare by crime, do female shoplifters, dealers, murderers get lighter sentences than male shoplifters, dealers, murderers?

Custody bias? WTF is that? Have we gone back to spidermen running around on roofs again?

Oh FFS.

What is with these threads today. 🤣

I personally can’t say I’ve ever benefited from any of that. I’ve never been sentenced for a crime. I’ve never had a contact arrangements dispute with anyone to be favoured in (though where are all these menfolk fighting to do all the graft of raising children?). I’ve never lived in a country where there has been a general draft (nor has my Dh).

The only time I’ve been “financially supported” by Dh is because I was forced out of my job due to having cancer. And being unemployed and needing Dh to cover our household finances didn’t happen because I was a woman and he was a man, but simply because I was the unfortunate one of the two of us who drew the cancer card. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I financially supported him though when I was working and he was still in uni though, because that’s what you do in a committed relationship where you share responsibilities together.

No, women do not benefit as much as men from the patriarchy.🙄

The majority of women are not financially supported, even when they were it was often at a personal cost, often involving rape and assault, violence and no autonomy.

I think even the majority of males are left disadvantaged by the patriarchy... it's a pyramid scheme, only a select few get to be at the top.

Im not sure longer prison sentences for men is a result of patriarchy? Also, don’t women now fight in wars? Re being supported, I love my husband but I seriously doubt I still would if we had a traditional patriarchal family structure. The support isn’t usually “free”. Women make a different contribution - one that comes with a distinct lack of control.

I think “patriarchy” is over-used as a shorthand for inequalities, where realistically many of those inequalities (whether they favour men or women) need to be addressed individually, taking into account their specific context. It’s easy to say “ooo patriarchy”, but it doesn’t solve anything.

If anything there’s a custody bias against women. If courts went with preserving the balance of parenting children got before separation it would be overwhelmingly female, but they are actually pretty keen to go 50/50 where they can. There as pros and cons to that, but it’s def not a pro-woman bias.

Also, I don’t have the stats to hand but I believe women tend to get harsher sentencing than men for the same crime. They get less harsh sentences overall because they tend to commit much more minor crimes. So yeah, YABU.

I’m not saying women benefit equally, clearly patriarchy disadvantages women overall. I just meant there are areas where women are cushioned (like custody norms or sentencing stats) while men get the harsher end. Doesn’t erase the wider imbalance but it complicates the ‘only men benefit’ narrative.

Are we in the death throes of the school holiday silly season? I do hope so.

I don’t think all of these examples can be pinned neatly on patriarchy either and you’re right that the trade-offs in traditional structures weren’t exactly free support for women. My point was more that sometimes inequalities cut both ways depending on the context and it’s too simplistic to frame the system as only benefitting men. Like you said, it’s probably healthier to look at each inequality in its own context rather than just shorthand it all.

Let's temporarily ignore that women do fight in wars now and agree that it is still mostly men—who are they fighting?

This is like the old trope that women and children benefit from men protecting them—who are they protecting them from?

It ain't women and children starting wars or committing violent crimes.

With patriarchy, financially supported=financially dependent. But also, majority of women work.

I'm in full support of women being conscripted into military. Problem is that the more conservative men don't want that. Also, with the amount of rapes and assaults women experience in the military..

There is no proof that men are disadvantaged in custody arrangements. If they go for custody, they usually get it. They just choose not to.

As for prison sentences. Can't comment much, but they take indicidual circumstances into account.

I assume you are a man?
No women do not benefit from the patriarchy.
The women you say are financially supported are women who have sacrificed their careers to be the main carer for their children working just as hard and in most cases harder than their husbands. And not only do they sacrifice their career they have reduced pension and vastly reduced financial independence.
Your argument about prison sentences is nonsensical, men commit the vast majority of violent crime and murder the few women who commit those crimes are sentenced equally with men and are actually usually vilified more than men who commit such crimes
There is no custody bias the court has to take into account only the rights of the child not the parents wishes and there have actually been numerous cases where women have been forced to let their abusive and violent ex partners have contact with their children.
I don't live in a country with conscription so the comment about fighting in a war is irrelevant but both male and female soldiers fight in war zones and have done since 2018.