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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that porn mags are a "lesser evil" compared to internet porn?

49 replies

Muffsies · 27/08/2025 13:55

A couple of times recently my 11 year old son has drawn my attention to porn mags on the top shelf in newsagents we have visited. I have not noticed this in years, so I'm assuming that some people have gone back to using magazines since the introduction of age verification on internet sites.

At first I thought this is a bad thing, I'm not particularly happy having to explain porn mags to my son, and I don't like having to see this sort of thing myself, particularly in a public place.

But then I thought maybe it is a 'good' sign if this change is because people are starting to move away from internet porn? Magazines are likely to be far better regulated, and what you see won't as easily lead you into worse content, like happens online. Is it the lesser of two evils (I don't think porn is actually 'evil' btw, but we have to somehow balance freedom of choice with reducing the known damaging effects on young people)?

Afterwards, I also realised that I'd had the conversation with my son at a crucial time before he starts secondary school, we'd spoken before about puberty & healthy relationships, but not porn. I warned him about the internet and how damaging the content can be and how it has ruined some young men's lives, hence the change in the law. So I guess some good has come of it.

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MyGreyStork · 27/08/2025 16:06

At 11 years old your son will know about sex and porn mags. If he has a phone he might have even looked at previously.

Muffsies · 27/08/2025 19:21

MyGreyStork · 27/08/2025 16:06

At 11 years old your son will know about sex and porn mags. If he has a phone he might have even looked at previously.

He doesn't have a phone. He has a chromebook, but his internet access is locked-down on age appropriate material. He may well be aware of what porn is, but he'd never seen a porn mag in a shop before (neither have I for a long time until now). He was surprised, which is why he asked me about it - he's comfortable discussing most things with me.

Of course he knows about sex, we've had that discussion more than once, and so has the school.

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MissJoGrant · 27/08/2025 19:27

No one is going from Internet porn to magazines. The age verification is laughably easy to get around (loads of free VPNs) and the new laws are, at best, ineffective and at worst the thin end of the wedge.

You sound like you are handling your son's Internet access brilliantly and we need more parents like you.

It's not even difficult!

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 19:30

Top shelf mags never went away, are you Keir Starmer's PR trying to convince us all his plan is working?! 😂

Muffsies · 27/08/2025 19:53

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 19:30

Top shelf mags never went away, are you Keir Starmer's PR trying to convince us all his plan is working?! 😂

Honestly, I never noticed them until just recently! Newsagents in our town mostly don't have them, but I've noticed two just recently started stocking (after my son pointed it out). Back in the 90s every newsagent had them, I thought they were a thing of the past since pornhub came along.

This is a politics-free thread btw, if that's even possible 🙄🤣🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

I'm just interested on people's opinions on kids being exposed to porn and if it's possible to help them to make healthier choices.

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Sadcafe · 27/08/2025 20:11

Not seen a porn magazine in a shop for years, I’m guessing this was some small independent shop which sells papers etc alongside other things. Is a magazine better than online , probably not much, though possibly less degrading, only so much you can see in a picture.

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 13:39

Sadcafe · 27/08/2025 20:11

Not seen a porn magazine in a shop for years, I’m guessing this was some small independent shop which sells papers etc alongside other things. Is a magazine better than online , probably not much, though possibly less degrading, only so much you can see in a picture.

Well, I don't expect WHSmiths will ever stock them, but I wasn't expecting the local newsagents to start!

I just feel that, at least with magazines you won't get illegal or extreme content. Also, the internet lends itself to cultivate compulsive or obsessive behaviour. We all know how easy it is to get drawn down a rabbit hole, spend far longer online than we intend, and end up learning things we hadn't even been looking for in the first place. I have also been unexpectedly exposed to things I REALLY didn't want to see, stuff I wasn't looking for or even knew existed at all. It's just too easy for a vulnerable person to be damaged by the stuff online.

I'm actually really glad that I had the conversation with my youngest about it. My two, much older, sons didn't have access to smart phones and WiFi, so I didn't have to battle the SM and porn risk when they were at vulnerable ages.

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BauhausOfEliott · 28/08/2025 14:30

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 13:39

Well, I don't expect WHSmiths will ever stock them, but I wasn't expecting the local newsagents to start!

I just feel that, at least with magazines you won't get illegal or extreme content. Also, the internet lends itself to cultivate compulsive or obsessive behaviour. We all know how easy it is to get drawn down a rabbit hole, spend far longer online than we intend, and end up learning things we hadn't even been looking for in the first place. I have also been unexpectedly exposed to things I REALLY didn't want to see, stuff I wasn't looking for or even knew existed at all. It's just too easy for a vulnerable person to be damaged by the stuff online.

I'm actually really glad that I had the conversation with my youngest about it. My two, much older, sons didn't have access to smart phones and WiFi, so I didn't have to battle the SM and porn risk when they were at vulnerable ages.

Most local newsagents have never stopped selling porn mags. You might not have noticed them, but it's very common in independent newsagents and even smaller newsagent chains. Nobody is switching from the internet to magazines - there's always been a market for magazines. Plenty of older people who don't use the internet still want to access porn.

WHSmith probably don't stock them these days, no, but they certainly used to at one time.

I doubt anyone is switching from the internet to magazines because of the age verification thing. Unless you only want to access material on some particularly iffy sites, there's little to no privacy concern attached to age verification; most sites people are using are owned by large companies who know their business depends on discretion. And if people are still worried, it's not especially difficult to bypass.

I guess whether or not you think it's 'the lesser of two evils' depends on what you think is evil. Any magazine you can buy in a newsagent is going to be a lot tamer than material you can see online - top shelf magazines are basically just photoshoots with naked women with their legs open and grim captions/reader's letters. But that means there's rarely content aimed at women or couples and it's entirely about looking at women posing passively. There is also very little variety in body type etc. Porn on the internet will obviously be more explicit - there will be images and clips of sex acts and it is obviously possible to find content that's disturbing. But on the other hand, you are much more likely to find content online that is made by people of every conceivable body type, every conceivable distribution of body hair and for every conceivable sexuality. Women who like looking at men's bodies are going to find nothing to interest them in a magazine at the newsagents. At all. Women in top shelf magazines are passive objects on a page for men to look at, and that's it.

Magazines are pictures of women mostly being directed, photographed and published by men with no real control for the models. And course, some online porn is equally male-led and the women involved are equally passive and objectified.
BUT online porn will always ALSO include a huge amount of content that's controlled and released by the performers who are choosing what they want to do and self-directing - so, so much online porn is amateur content made by individuals or real-life couples, of all ages, genders, body types, sexualities, preferences etc. There is a lot of material based around women enjoying themselves, to be honest, which is very much not the case in any magazine you'll find on the top shelf of a newsagent.

Some online porn is awful and exploitative and abusive, certainly. But the vast variety means that it's actually meaningless and reductive to talk about 'internet porn' as if it's one thing. It really, really, really isn't just one thing. It varies vastly - visually, ethically, financially. People who are against porn entirely do not, for obvious reasons, actually tend to watch much of it, which means there can be some really odd and false generalisations in their arguments. Obviously I have no problem with people being opposed to porn, but blanket statements about the kind of material on offer aren't realistic or helpful.

I personally would say it was healthier to have a wank while watching a clip on the internet of a couple of fairly ordinary people fucking each other where there's a big emphasis on them both enjoying themselves, rather than a lone woman staring blankly from a page with her legs open like a lifeless sex doll solely there to be stared at by a man and getting nothing out of it. Although there is some appalling, violent, exploitative and harmful porn on the internet, it also provides absolutely tons of the former type of content. But top shelf mags only provide the latter.

Basically, the insanely broad range of material covered by 'internet porn' is both the bad thing about it and the good thing about it. In my opinion, people will always access porn, and I'd much rather they at least had the option to look for content that women and couples have made themselves - and where women's pleasure is at least part of the picture. That is not an option provided by top shelf magazines from the newsagent.

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/08/2025 14:40

Smiths did stock them once upon a time, on the “Adult Interests” shelf.

I thought these mags were in bags with whatever was on the front cover, covered up and you just saw the highly imaginative mag title. They weren’t always like this, but they did in the end.

Never knew they were still a thing.

Deerstalkee · 28/08/2025 14:43

Porn mags on the top shelf of a newsagent shop? When was this, I haven’t seen adult magazines anywhere for ages.

Ddakji · 28/08/2025 14:43

BauhausOfEliott · 28/08/2025 14:30

Most local newsagents have never stopped selling porn mags. You might not have noticed them, but it's very common in independent newsagents and even smaller newsagent chains. Nobody is switching from the internet to magazines - there's always been a market for magazines. Plenty of older people who don't use the internet still want to access porn.

WHSmith probably don't stock them these days, no, but they certainly used to at one time.

I doubt anyone is switching from the internet to magazines because of the age verification thing. Unless you only want to access material on some particularly iffy sites, there's little to no privacy concern attached to age verification; most sites people are using are owned by large companies who know their business depends on discretion. And if people are still worried, it's not especially difficult to bypass.

I guess whether or not you think it's 'the lesser of two evils' depends on what you think is evil. Any magazine you can buy in a newsagent is going to be a lot tamer than material you can see online - top shelf magazines are basically just photoshoots with naked women with their legs open and grim captions/reader's letters. But that means there's rarely content aimed at women or couples and it's entirely about looking at women posing passively. There is also very little variety in body type etc. Porn on the internet will obviously be more explicit - there will be images and clips of sex acts and it is obviously possible to find content that's disturbing. But on the other hand, you are much more likely to find content online that is made by people of every conceivable body type, every conceivable distribution of body hair and for every conceivable sexuality. Women who like looking at men's bodies are going to find nothing to interest them in a magazine at the newsagents. At all. Women in top shelf magazines are passive objects on a page for men to look at, and that's it.

Magazines are pictures of women mostly being directed, photographed and published by men with no real control for the models. And course, some online porn is equally male-led and the women involved are equally passive and objectified.
BUT online porn will always ALSO include a huge amount of content that's controlled and released by the performers who are choosing what they want to do and self-directing - so, so much online porn is amateur content made by individuals or real-life couples, of all ages, genders, body types, sexualities, preferences etc. There is a lot of material based around women enjoying themselves, to be honest, which is very much not the case in any magazine you'll find on the top shelf of a newsagent.

Some online porn is awful and exploitative and abusive, certainly. But the vast variety means that it's actually meaningless and reductive to talk about 'internet porn' as if it's one thing. It really, really, really isn't just one thing. It varies vastly - visually, ethically, financially. People who are against porn entirely do not, for obvious reasons, actually tend to watch much of it, which means there can be some really odd and false generalisations in their arguments. Obviously I have no problem with people being opposed to porn, but blanket statements about the kind of material on offer aren't realistic or helpful.

I personally would say it was healthier to have a wank while watching a clip on the internet of a couple of fairly ordinary people fucking each other where there's a big emphasis on them both enjoying themselves, rather than a lone woman staring blankly from a page with her legs open like a lifeless sex doll solely there to be stared at by a man and getting nothing out of it. Although there is some appalling, violent, exploitative and harmful porn on the internet, it also provides absolutely tons of the former type of content. But top shelf mags only provide the latter.

Basically, the insanely broad range of material covered by 'internet porn' is both the bad thing about it and the good thing about it. In my opinion, people will always access porn, and I'd much rather they at least had the option to look for content that women and couples have made themselves - and where women's pleasure is at least part of the picture. That is not an option provided by top shelf magazines from the newsagent.

That’s the most ludicrous justification for internet porn ever.

caramac04 · 28/08/2025 14:49

I think internet porn probably has a wider scope than magazines.
As a 13 yr old papergirl I used to absolutely hate delivering Mayfair magazine to one village house. Especially since I had thought the man who lived there was nice. It got worse when he started coming out of the house as I went up the drive and took the magazine from me. Looking back he was being vile and probably got a kick out of his clearly embarrassing me.
I literally have never watched porn or looked at porn mags. They make me feel sick.

Laiste · 28/08/2025 15:03

Ddakji · 28/08/2025 14:43

That’s the most ludicrous justification for internet porn ever.

I'm assuming that was AI.

Laiste · 28/08/2025 15:04

I can't help thinking of Richard Richard and his derision of '' Jazz mags!!!'' 🤣

Smittenkitchen · 28/08/2025 15:10

Magazines do seem very tame compared to what there is online now although as long as there has been colour print etc niche and illegal material has been made but not so easily accessible as everything and anything is now online.

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 15:11

Deerstalkee · 28/08/2025 14:43

Porn mags on the top shelf of a newsagent shop? When was this, I haven’t seen adult magazines anywhere for ages.

Just in my small, Oxfordshire town. It's definitely a new thing, I haven't seen them for ages either.

I'm sure they never went away in some larger city areas, but I haven't noticed them on my travels. Maybe I'm going to the wrong newsagents?

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Muffsies · 28/08/2025 15:25

@BauhausOfEliott
I agree with you that the depiction of women as passive things that you do sex to is the most disagreeable thing about porn mags.

I am aware that there is ethical porn being made which is accessible on the internet, which is undeniably a good thing. Perhaps there are ethical porn mags out there? If I'm feeling brave, I might even ask in the newsagents stocking them!

I'd like to reiterate that I do not think that porn is 'evil', but the effects of internet porn on young people has proven to be damaging, and in some cases devastating. I am doing my best as a responsible parent to educate my kid about it, but in reality all I can do is hope for the best that it doesn't become a problem for him.

Do you have young kids, and do you have any suggestions or strategies for keeping kids savvy and protected from what's available there?

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SueSuddio · 28/08/2025 15:27

Do you remember that every now and then people would find a stash of old porn mags hidden in the bath surround or a floorboard of a house they'd bought?

I honestly didn't know they were still a thing. VHS and dirty mags is how porn used to be, and my brother would trade them with his friends (aged 16).

The issue with anything on the internet is that it becomes addictive far more easily.

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 15:52

caramac04 · 28/08/2025 14:49

I think internet porn probably has a wider scope than magazines.
As a 13 yr old papergirl I used to absolutely hate delivering Mayfair magazine to one village house. Especially since I had thought the man who lived there was nice. It got worse when he started coming out of the house as I went up the drive and took the magazine from me. Looking back he was being vile and probably got a kick out of his clearly embarrassing me.
I literally have never watched porn or looked at porn mags. They make me feel sick.

Yuck, I'm not surprised you hate porn mags. Also a valuable lesson in there about 'nice men', too.

The internet does have a wider scope, which as a poster above makes in their point, can be both a good or a bad thing. It is encouraging to know that ethical porn (in both content and the way it's made) is now a thing.

My biggest worry is the nature of internet sites encouraging obsessive behaviour, and the risks of accessing more and more extreme content. We've all had experiences where looking at one mundane thing has led us to something we didn't expect or want to see, some of which can be extremely disturbing. For an adult this can be bad enough, but for a kid with a developing brain it can be very serious, like introducing alcohol too soon.

I just want to feel like I can control all these risks somehow.

OP posts:
Muffsies · 28/08/2025 15:52

caramac04 · 28/08/2025 14:49

I think internet porn probably has a wider scope than magazines.
As a 13 yr old papergirl I used to absolutely hate delivering Mayfair magazine to one village house. Especially since I had thought the man who lived there was nice. It got worse when he started coming out of the house as I went up the drive and took the magazine from me. Looking back he was being vile and probably got a kick out of his clearly embarrassing me.
I literally have never watched porn or looked at porn mags. They make me feel sick.

.

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HelpMeGetThrough · 28/08/2025 15:56

SueSuddio · 28/08/2025 15:27

Do you remember that every now and then people would find a stash of old porn mags hidden in the bath surround or a floorboard of a house they'd bought?

I honestly didn't know they were still a thing. VHS and dirty mags is how porn used to be, and my brother would trade them with his friends (aged 16).

The issue with anything on the internet is that it becomes addictive far more easily.

My brother did the same.

Always kept them in the back of his Stereo stacker system or whatever it was (probably with his double cassette of Now That’s What I Call Music….. 1).

No wonder the bloody thing hardly worked!!

Now I know why he got grumpy when my parents got a Betamax video 😁

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 16:06

SueSuddio · 28/08/2025 15:27

Do you remember that every now and then people would find a stash of old porn mags hidden in the bath surround or a floorboard of a house they'd bought?

I honestly didn't know they were still a thing. VHS and dirty mags is how porn used to be, and my brother would trade them with his friends (aged 16).

The issue with anything on the internet is that it becomes addictive far more easily.

Oh, for sure. In the 80s when I was little I thought porn mags sprung out of the ground in abandoned industrial buildings 😂

The addictive angle is what I'm most worried about with the internet; porn and SM sites have become experts at keeping you scrolling and clicking, with instant gratification. It really can damage a brain right when it's most plastic. Teen brains completely rewire themselves at this age, which is why they have such an amazing capacity for learning - you have to be really careful about what that brain gets exposed to!

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8TinyToeBeans · 28/08/2025 16:13

They’ve always been around in independent newsagents but I bought anyone is swapping from online to paper content. All you need is a VPN, even the free vpn with your antivirus software would do the job. The most competent people at circumventing the restrictions are going to be teens! It’s not going to stop anyone who wants to access online porn.

Maybe we need to promote ethical, woman-led/woman-owned porn!

Muffsies · 28/08/2025 16:35

8TinyToeBeans · 28/08/2025 16:13

They’ve always been around in independent newsagents but I bought anyone is swapping from online to paper content. All you need is a VPN, even the free vpn with your antivirus software would do the job. The most competent people at circumventing the restrictions are going to be teens! It’s not going to stop anyone who wants to access online porn.

Maybe we need to promote ethical, woman-led/woman-owned porn!

We definitely do need more ethical porn. If men were exposed to more of it they might actually realise that women are just as willing and interested in sex as they are, if they actually stopped treating women as objects to have sex on.

I don't use porn for myself, but I did lookup pornhub once when I was trying to research doing reverse cowgirl. Big mistake. Put me right off the whole idea, literally for good. Luckily, my standard cowgirl is pretty hawt 🤣

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ginasevern · 28/08/2025 16:40

I don't know about men reverting to magazines, I doubt that. I suppose some men maybe prefer them, or maybe they can't afford the internet. Who knows. But for what it's worth, I do think that magazines are the lesser of 2 "evils". I doubt anyone has got addicted to girly mags, at least not in the same insidiuous way they do with online porn. It doesn't involve live action for a start, so there's only so much wanking you can do over a still photo of a naked fanny. There also isn't the potential or capacity to move on to increasingly harder core and really nasty stuff.