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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to stay in and have time to myself

2 replies

moonbeam8 · 27/08/2025 13:53

I live around the corner from my son who’s in his mid 20s but only has a room in a shared house and gets quite lonely.

Since moving out he doesn’t tell us when he’s coming in and just walks through the door and sits down for what’s an unknown amount of time as sometimes he stays an hour and sometimes all evening, he rings me at least a few times every week inviting me over to sit with him at his which as I am so exhausted after work I don’t really want to but knowing he’s on his own I end up going.

I work long hours and just want to sit down in the evening and relax with my husband, not have to keep our adult son company because he’s lonely.

We encouraged him to move out because we felt it was time as he was very dependent on us for company and spent all his time around us and thought some independence would do him good.

I just feel so exhausted I need time to myself but I don’t feel like I can say anything to him without him seeing it as a rejection.

He is autistic but manages to keep a job, drive, cook etc and is very intelligent.

He doesn’t have any friends but I can’t be all his friends and his mum.

OP posts:
MamaElephantMama · 27/08/2025 17:55

Ahh bless him! I’d rather suck it up and have my child over than feel lonely.

Maybe suggest he finds a hobby.

Theolittle · 27/08/2025 18:01

oh gosh that’s so sad but he does sound like he’s doing well to have a job and cope with living independently

Perhaps set some time limits on visiting to start with, so that you get some down time.

Let him know you love him lots and are proud of him - it may be lack of confidence that stops him engaging with other people.

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