To be upset and embarrassed by the consultant's secretary?

[wuminzo]

I am deaf. I use hearing aids and can hear ok with them, but in certain situations it's a struggle to hear what people are saying.

The consultant's secretary was sitting with two others in a line. She was not directly opposite me but off to my right, that's how the desk situation worked and I couldn't get any closer to her. She was giving me information about upcoming procedure, a lot of information! I told her I couldn't hear her as I was deaf. She didn't acknowledge this and carried on. Despite repeated requests to repeat herself and constantly telling her I was deaf she did nothing, well she sighed and Word. By. Word. In. That. Fashion said it again.

She could have got up from her seat and stood in front of me which I said would work better but she didn't. I was so embarrassed as the office was full of people who were avidly listening (the irony!) to this drama.

I am very upset. I feel if I were physically disabled similar disrespect wouldn't have happened. I felt she saw me as stupid or thick (I'm old and grey ha ha).

When I got home I was livid, it's going over and over in my head. I was going to ring straight away, but am calming myself down.

Would you, or should I contact her myself and let her know how rude and uncaring she was, and that she caused me embarrassment? Or should I just sleep on it and forget about it. I think I feel better having got it out to MN, so I may just leave it.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!!

I’m sorry you went through this. As a fellow hearing aid user I do know how difficult some situations can be.
I second the suggestions of asking about hospital policy on communicating with hearing-impaired people; Do they give any training? And also about contacting PALS. You do not necessarily need to name the person involved; Just say you have found the assistance unsatisfactory.
Also, hearing-impaired or not, surely it is best to give important information in writing as well as verbally (although maybe they will follow up a letter).
I hope you get results; The more of us who raise these issues the better!

Yes that definitely is worthy of a complaint in writing. How rude that is awful behaviour.

I would raise this as a patient confidentiality issue as well as poor practice. I’m sorry this happened to you OP. It’s unacceptable

I also wear hearing aids & have another more visible disability and often have to remind people to come closer / face me if they want me to understand so I really feel for you @wuminzo @GravyBoatWars had a good suggestion for the complaint letter; I’d also add that under the Equality Act they should make reasonable adjustments to ensure that disabled people aren’t discriminated against, and the set up of that area sounds as if it does discriminate against members of the Deaf community. That might add weight to your letter.

Sending you a big hug.

What a horrible, humiliating experience op! I felt quite choked up just reading that, so please, please follow through with the complaint.

Another one sending a big hug.

I really think you need to submit a written complaint to the hospital complaints department. I would not contact her directly about this.

Please complain. Totally unacceptable behaviour and a breach of confidentiality.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you feel better soon x

My husband is a hospital consultant and funnily enough I am deaf and wear a hearing aid too . Complain, she probably has this ignorant attitude with other patients.

I am sorry. She is in the wrong job but you cannot do much about that. I hope you have better experiences in future, not all med secs are like her (I'm a retired one).

As for a copy of the letter that will be sent to your GP. That will give all the details you need to know.

I feel sad on your behalf - which doesn't help you of course. People are often not properly trained for jobs and this is the result.

Thank you one and all. I feel a little better now having had some tea, it was a long afternoon TBH.

I am so glad I posted this, I didn't know if I should as I thought I was being dramatic and that I was overreacting. But I know now I wasn't. I would hate for anyone else in my position to have to go through that.

So tomorrow after a hopefully decent sleep, I shall write (is email better do you think?) to the hospital and as you have advised, keep it professional and not personal. I will take your advice and suggestions on board in drafting it.

I hope that my letter/email will wake them up and ensure that we are all, both able and disabled treated with kindness and dignity, as we should be.

My sincere thanks to this little corner of Mumsnet for understanding how much this affected me today.

I'd complain to pals and I have before about patronising behavior to my disabled child. The first eye roller got a "look, he doesn't understand you. You can raise your voice as much as you like but it's not going to make any difference. He's disabled, not thick"

tbh when this happens repeatedly and I get a tut and eye roll I'm going to repay the favour of humiliation. Fuck it. sometimes they snap and tut and im only human too. Life is hard enough with a disability without this shit.

When I got past this gatekeeper I had the entire same thing with the nurse wjust he just would not accept that we was wasn't just both thick as shit and making things up. So I complained and it did make a difference. That nurse won't do what he did again in a hurry. He totally dismissed us, didn't belive me therefore didnt examine my son and completely missed a very visible and obvious injury.

Yes, absolutely send it by email - if you phone, not only could it be forgotten/ignored/not acted on', there's always the chance you get somebody who doesn't put the handset near their mouth, is in a busy area with lots of background noise or, worst of all, answers calls on handsfree.

There's some info on PALS and how to make a complaint here;

What is PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)?
www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospitals/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/

Definitely complain as others have said so she can improve. Some hospitals are really good, I’ve been lucky but the others need to improve.