To use a a dummy a lot with 2 month old

[SophieRules]

Before I had a baby I thought dummies were bad and meant a baby was just being shut up when there is a need that is potentially being unmet. Our baby is very moany and cryey, almost constantly. We change nappy, play with him, talk to him, cuddles, burping, different holding positions, different places to be put down, go for walks etc, pay attention to how long he’s been awake and if he needs sleep, feed him obviously, have even recently stopped eating dairy incase that was irritating him, but he just seems to moan a lot. Sometimes crying hysterically and coughing and there seems to be no reason we can think of. The dummy is a life saver, but we are using it quite a lot :( it unreasonable to use a dummy a lot to keep a baby calm and the parents too!? Is it normal? Will it affect him badly in the long run?

Don’t worry at all! It’s a big change for a baby to come out of the womb where everything is very different and get used to a crazy world when things like their gut are not fully developed yet - the dummy will just help them self soothe. I didn’t use them that much with my kids and stopped at about 4 months - but they were life savers when my eldest was ill at two months for example. Cutting out dairy is probably a good idea (that was the issue with my eldest) but in general little babies have lots of small ailments that come from not being fully developed (eg one of mine occasionally didn’t poop for 4-5 days) and it can make them sad because it’s uncomfortable and the dummy is a good soothing / pain relief mechanism. They will never let you use it to shut up a big “need” but it calms them because it genuinely takes away a lot of their discomfort. I’d look it another way - if they are uncomfortable and you can make them more comfortable using the dummy why wouldn’t you. As they get older there are reasons to not use it but at that age do not worry at all (and it’s easy to get rid of when they are young as well). Also, to be clear, most baby crying is very much them being uncomfortable but not in “pain” and it’s ok to accept you can’t always fix that and just make them as comfortable as possible - you can see that from when they have their injections and scream their head off at something that as an adult we wouldn’t see as painful - that’s how they respond when in even small amounts of pain and it is super different than normal crying.

Using a dummy is meeting a need, it is not leaving that need unmet. If you try everything and baby is still unhappy, then better to use the dummy so baby is not unhappy, than leave baby unhappy for longer.

The need the dummy serves is comfort sucking.

Sucking is a naturally soothing action for babies. Often they don't want calories or to eat when sucking, they just want thr action of sucking. Its a comforter and a dummy does that comforting easily - so why wouldn't you?

There will be loads of things that, before you had a baby you didn't think you'd do, but then real life kicks in. Thus is just one of those things.

Dummies are ace.

Dummy’s are a great soother for some babies. My son used one for sleeping until he was 3! Which is definitely too old, but it worked well for us. His teeth and speech are fine btw.
You don’t win any medals for making your life difficult. Honestly, if it helps you then use them.