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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

7 year old asking friend to be her boyfriend

27 replies

Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 22:59

My dd has been great friends with a little boy on the street since they were tiny. They’re always playing at each others houses, he’s a lovely boy. Dd got it into her head recently that she wants him to be her boyfriend, I said to her that boyfriends are when you’re much older and it’s better to be friends. She made him a ring and asked him to be her boyfriend and he said yes.
What do you do in this situation, just ignore it and see it as being young or discourage it?

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 25/08/2025 23:12

Discourage it. That’s very weird.

blossombubblesbuttercup · 25/08/2025 23:16

It’s really normal actually! I’ve got a 6 year old, there’s a few of them in his class that have “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” it doesn’t mean the same thing as when you’re an adult, they’re just playing at it really.

Original poster
Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:16

PurpleChrayn · 25/08/2025 23:12

Discourage it. That’s very weird.

Do you really think so? I didn’t know if I was taking it a bit too seriously, I mean it’s all very innocent obviously and her friends at school say certain boys are their boyfriends, it’s just like friends really, they don’t really know what it means/what’s involved

OP posts:
Original poster
Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:19

blossombubblesbuttercup · 25/08/2025 23:16

It’s really normal actually! I’ve got a 6 year old, there’s a few of them in his class that have “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” it doesn’t mean the same thing as when you’re an adult, they’re just playing at it really.

Phew, thank you! You’ve made me feel very relieved after the first comment
How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
JLou08 · 25/08/2025 23:19

I had a 'boyfriend' when I was 7. We just chased each other around the playground laughing. I didn't actually kiss anyone until 13 and didn't have sex until 16. I wouldn't think about it too deeply.

Original poster
Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:19

blossombubblesbuttercup · 25/08/2025 23:16

It’s really normal actually! I’ve got a 6 year old, there’s a few of them in his class that have “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” it doesn’t mean the same thing as when you’re an adult, they’re just playing at it really.

Phew, thank you! You’ve made me feel very relieved after the first comment
How do you deal with it?

OP posts:
LoserWinner · 25/08/2025 23:19

I fell in love with Simon Fletcher when I was seven. That was nearly 60 years ago, in another country, and the world was very different then, but I can still remember that it was quite a different feeling to the close friendship I had with other kids. It lasted all of a fortnight. I wouldn’t worry - kids of that age are observing others around them and exploring the different kinds of relationships they encounter. That she shared her feelings with you is very healthy, and your gentle neutral response was entirely appropriate. Just let it fizzle out naturally, as indeed it will.

Original poster
Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:20

Sorry it posted twice

OP posts:
Mandarinaduck · 25/08/2025 23:21

I think it's quite normal at that age. I guess they are getting to grips with the concept. It passes.

blossombubblesbuttercup · 25/08/2025 23:21

Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:19

Phew, thank you! You’ve made me feel very relieved after the first comment
How do you deal with it?

Show quote history

I don’t really, I just say oh that’s nice or something along those lines. It’s no different to me as when he says someone is his best friend. Quite often, it moves on quickly and it’s someone else the week after😂

Original poster
Wishitwouldsnowww · 25/08/2025 23:23

blossombubblesbuttercup · 25/08/2025 23:21

I don’t really, I just say oh that’s nice or something along those lines. It’s no different to me as when he says someone is his best friend. Quite often, it moves on quickly and it’s someone else the week after😂

Show quote history

😂

OP posts:
mintich · 25/08/2025 23:23

It's not weird at all! I have an 8 Yr old girl and they all have boyfriends one minute , then forgotten they are going out with them the next. It's all just play.

CurlsLDN · 25/08/2025 23:23

Normal! Just like playing hospitals, playing cops and robbers, playing mummies and daddies…it’s all part of mimicking the grown up world they see around them.

lots of the kids in my child’s primary class were ‘boyfriends and girlfriends’ at some time or another.

i remember having a ‘boyfriend’ in primary. He stole his sisters ring and gave it to me but the teacher found out and gave it back to his mum. Despite his dastardly romantic ways there was nothing more to it than saying we were a prince and princess!

bosseyedboss · 25/08/2025 23:24

Normal! So normal!

Lazydaze123 · 25/08/2025 23:27

It’s not weird at all OP, very normal in fact! Just do as you have done explain boyfriends are for when you are older and move on. I wouldn't even think to worry about it.

Kimmeridge · 25/08/2025 23:28

My niece had a 'boyfriend' at that age. The big announcement was made & that was it. They sometimes walked to get the school bus together but he never came over and played. It seemed more an honorary title than anything. It lasted about a fortnight and he was never mentioned again

Just go along with it.

ShesTheAlbatross · 25/08/2025 23:28

I think I had a husband at 5

Lazydaze123 · 25/08/2025 23:29

ShesTheAlbatross · 25/08/2025 23:28

I think I had a husband at 5

Love it 👏🤣

SouthLondonMum22 · 25/08/2025 23:30

It isn't something I'd be encouraging. Boys and girls can be friends is what I'd keep reminding my child.

BansheeOfTheSouth · 25/08/2025 23:32

It will pass. I was raised by a single mother and didn't know many married people at all when I was very young.

I "married" my boy friend at 5 by swapping shoes in the playground for 5 minutes. He gave me a plastic ring. I wore it until it broke. No one made a big deal of it, we played together and held hands in the line at school. That was the extent of our marriage until I moved a year later.

I had many friends who were boys but he was my only boyfriend until I had my first kiss at 11.

Hairshare · 25/08/2025 23:36

Let them play at boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s sweet and harmless.

Morningsleepin · 25/08/2025 23:39

I spent my whole childhood telling everyone I was engaged to one of my best friends and that was some 65 years ago.

Btowngirl · 25/08/2025 23:43

I don’t think this is weird! When I was little my next door neighbours son was my ‘boyfriend’ in fact we had a fake wedding where all the other kids contributed 😆 was about 5. Didn’t mean a thing, I think it’s just imitating adults with zero understanding of any of the details!

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 25/08/2025 23:43

Oh come on, this is just sweet and silly kids games.
A little boy at our church has somehow become the 'stud' icon for all the little girls. He is 7 hahaha All of them are saying they are going to marry him and when you ask him what he thinks about it, he says I don't want to marry anyone, I just want loads of dogs.

Boutonnière · 25/08/2025 23:45

I had a boyfriend at 6, who I shared with my best friend Jane. No polyamorous inclinations since and it was all very amicable.

Not sure what the concept of ‘boyfriend’ was at that age, and it was many, many decades ago and totally innocent. No influences from TV etc and there was nothing sexual about it at all - we had no idea.

I then had some crushes at about 13 and a not at all serious boyfriend at 16.