AIBU to feel like it shouldn't be a lot to ask for people to keep their mouths shut/be civil if they notice or see healed SH scars/non accidental scars on someone's body?

[Nonoanddefintelyno]

I kind of feel like as soon as someone sees that a person has scars, its seen as an instant get out of jail card to make stupid, inappropriate or careless comments. No one chooses to go through poor mental health or traumatic life events, and not everyone has access to, or is aware of the fact that there are healthier/more constructive ways of coping with difficult feelings, other than addiction and SH

I have pretty horrendous scarring over both arms from 20 years of self-harming and, your post doesn't ring true for me/hasn't been my experience.
I think I've only ever had one person make shitty comments about them and I'm 46.

YANBU
I am heavily scarred from self harm. I have overheard so many comments, and people trying to get each other to look. Sometimes, someone will just ask me about them, and I will tell them that I am not going to talk about it.
It is really hard in the summer as I will have my arms and scars out. I have been told to leave a pub because I was "making people feel uncomfortable".
I read about a lady who was refused wine in a supermarket because of her scars.

I haven’t seen many people with SH scars, but when I have, my only feeling was sympathy that they had been in such a dark place.
I have never made a comment and never would.

I've had lots of people make unpleasant comments and more. YANBU reasonable OP.

I would question whether those who have had different life experiences and not self harmed, or been around those who have, actually recognise them for what they are or understand their meaning.

Stupid, careless and inappropriate comments that are well meaning are different to if they are said to be deliberately unkind, so a bit more context is needed to really understand what happened to cause you to start this thread.

YANBU
at all
i have old scars
i spot other peoples sometimes, i would never judge or comment or expect any one to make shitty comments,
really sorry to hear you have had that happen

I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience. Nobody ever comments on my cuts/scars apart from my MH team.

You would think so. But someone who works for a MH charity asked me why I did it and if I "got off" on doing it. She admitted that she could not get her head around why someone would hurt themselves.

I used to work in the NHS, and had to have a blood test after a needlestick injury. The nurse doing it saw my scars and said that I was too old to be doing that (I was in my 20s) and "only teens do it". I still self harm, and am mid 40s.

I'm so sorry, that's an awful way to be treated. I hope you're doing much better now?

I once knew someone, briefly through a short course, who's arms were more scarred from self harm than I had thought possible. While i felt desperately sad for her that she had suffered so much, I also saw her as a survivor of great strength & bravery.

Sorry you've had this experience. I have deep scars on my arms and I wear long sleeves all year round, so I've not had ignorant comments but it gets hot in a heatwave. You shouldn't have to hide them away but I would recommend it, I know people would never think of me as "normal" again if they saw me in a short sleeve.

Whenever I’ve seen them I feel very sad for the person and wish I would be able to help them in some way. Obviously I never say anything I just hope they do have someone to talk to.