To say no to this 'fun' day?

[Tuningfork]

I'm part of a group of lovely ex. work friends who meet a couple of times a year for a catch up. Over the years since we all worked together, most of us have moved further afield from the workplace and live some distance apart from each other, so when we get together it's usually for an all-day do. We've done everything from race days, theatre and dinners, shopping trips, sightseeing in various cities. And spa days. So. Many. Fucking. Spa. Days.

Guess what the majority vote for the next meet is? I am increasingly starting to loathe spa days. I have a disability and as I get older, my mobility is getting more of a challenge, so I find spas tricky to navigate - they often involve a fair bit of walking and wet floors aren't my friend.

I find the whole experience the polar opposite to relaxing. All that hopping between one hot, sweaty room to another, hot tubs of water stinking of chlorine and probably other people's bodily fluids. And in the rare event you do find a room you like, after two minutes, a friend will announce "right, on to the next room". The constant clock-watching of waiting for your treatment time. The 20 minute 'free' treatment where you spend the first 15 minutes trying to relax and praying that the bored therapist doesn't massage your roll of fat and michelin tyre stomach. Trying to work out what time you need to start not getting wet again, so that you don't squelch your way into a restaurant for the healthy lunch offering, and sitting in a rigid panel of cardboard towelling bathrobe while you eat the buckwheat and quinoa sunflower seed special. Spending 30 seconds in a sauna fighting the onset of heatstroke, before trying to explain to your friends that a bucket of ice really isn't going to make you feel totally amazing. And to top it all, fighting to put your skinny jeans back on in a hot, humid changing room.

I am going to use my increasing unsteadiness on my feet as the reason I'll decline this get together, which is absolutely not untrue. But I'm curious to know if anyone else shares my dislike of spas and if so, why? I feel I must surely be in the minority, but I just don't get it!

Can’t see the point of spas.

Love a spa day ! Can see why you might not though…

I love them but would absolutely be happy to go elsewhere if I knew it didn’t suit someone in the group. I basically like sitting around and snoozing if I can.

Goodness yes YANBU, can’t bear them. For all the reasons you mention and more.

It's something I've never ever been interested in.

It sounds absolutely boring. I just couldn't be bothered .

Why don't you just tell your friends that you don't enjoy spa days? I don't see why they should take offence - just because you are friends you don't have to have identical tastes.

I quite like a spa day.

but.

I have chronic sinus problems. Steam and sauna and hot tubs sort that right out. We don’t book treatments. I like a bit of gentle swimming. Love the bubbles in a jacuzzi. Quite happy walking on wet floors. Only go with one friend so working to two peoples attention span for any item not three.

And I really like salmon and husband doesn’t and they’ve always got that on the menu.

And I have a 3 yr old.

From your perspective. Would be hell.

I love them but I get why they aren’t for all and I don’t see it working that well as group activity if there’s more than 3/4 of you

It’s fine to say spa days aren’t for you and for the others to go and enjoy their day.

Love a spa day. Pedicure, massage, manicure, swim, delicious lunch, chat to friends; my idea of a lovely break!

That was a lot of typing to justify why you don't like spas.

There's no need to justify it, just tell your mates to drop you out this time because you don't like spas 🤷‍♂️

I loathe them, so I don't go to them.

I am absolutely with you about spa days!

A Spa day is my worst nightmare - for all the reasons you have just mentioned plus I hate being touched lol

Spa day is also my worst nightmare. Runner up is a head massage from the hairdresser. Bleeeeeuugggh!

I love a good waffle about the same amount that I hate a spa.
I'm just interested to know others' opinions of them, and went a long way about it!

I hate a spa day too. It’s tolerable if they have a nice swimming pool and I can just pootle about and do some lengths but I actively dislike the rest of it. We once went to one where there was some special floatation tank thing and I lasted about 30 seconds before I had to get out. I also hate massages and facials.

@Tuningfork love a spa day on my own. Not with others - the whole point is to relax and not have to please anyone else. In a group, my idea
of hell (someone’s always late, someone doesn’t like this or that, someone else talks when you’re in a quiet zone and I’m on tenterhooks). I cannot believe people are not noticing it’s not the right choice for you and aren’t being a bit more mindful either …? I’d want everyone to enjoy it - not have you struggling with wet floors and so on.

I hate spa days too, but in the event that hell froze over and I did go on another one, I wouldn't be moving rooms as a group, that sounds awful! If you find one you like just stay there and catch up with your friends later. In the restaurant, say.

I loathe spa type activites.
Mainly because of body image problems - I have no breasts due to cancer and a round fat tummy so look like pooh bear . I get bored during massages and wish they would end soon as it just annoys me.
I also have dietary issues so those healthy lunches would not be good for me. Plus its usually a lot of money for something Im always dissatisfied with . I think I would rather pay not to go to a spa.
Oh -and I cant swim so end up sitting at the side anyway if theres a pool. Bored and fed up watching everyone else having a great time.

I’ve never been on a spa day.

Fine not to like them. Weird to make such a massive deal out of not liking them, though.

The first experience of a spa day was similar to the one you described, OP. I got so stressed out by the tight timetable.
After that, I vowed I would only have 1 treatment then lounge around with a book or magazine until lunch. Then another treatment in the afternoon followed by more lounging in the bar. I felt so much more relaxed.

Hate them.

I don't like getting wet (tbh, even showering on a regular basis is something I do only out of social obligation) and I HATE strangers touching me, so the whole concept of a spa day is completely wasted on me.

Make the excuse of your mobility. Hopefully in future they might do something else.

Yanbu to hate spa days.

Yabu though to wear skinny jeans to a spa day.
Easy breasy clothes only after a spa / pool session 😅

I like a spa day but onlu by myself or with one other person. Spa days with a large group isnt my thing.
If I was invited to an activity I didnt want to do, then I wouldnt go regardless of who was going.
I would explain to the group that you won't be joining any spa days but still want to keep in touch. Is it possible just to mert them for the lunch in the restaurant if its not too far? Otherwise sugges you will join next time if it is a meal for example.

This.

It’s an invitation, not a summons - you don’t have to go to any event that you don’t enjoy.