Sarah's law

[Hayley1993t]

I am considering doing a Sarah's law request but not sure if they will disclose allegations to me.

My child's grandpa was under investigation for historic child sex abuse. This was a while ago and before my child was born. I am very concerned about the allegations although no charges were ever brought and want to keep contact to a minimum and not to be left alone with j grandparents but I am getting a lot of pressure from DH that his parents should be able to look after our child and see child as often as possible. He thinks as there were no charges his father is innocent.

I want to do a Sarah's law although I don't think he has ever been convicted of any crimes there have only been this allegation from someone close to the family relating to when they were a child. But my worry is if they come back to say there is nothing to disclose this will be enough for my DH to say I have to let them look after child overnight etc. I personally feel like people don't just go to the police after all this time to make yo these allegations. It's actually causing me a lot of anxiety as I don't have any trust.

I would do it without telling DH and only tell
him if they come back and say anything. Even if they do I doubt your husband will believe it anyway.

Do it without telling DH and see what it says.
Frankly, the rumours would be enough for me to say No Contact!

Even if there is nothing coming up, your trust is evidently eroded and I don’t think you will trust this man with your child. So the results are a bit of a red herring.

Focus on having clear rules in place with DH and MiL around hours, locations and procedures for care of your child and the roles that the other adults play in these situations, and all what you are comfortable with.

For historic child sex abuse I would not at all be of the view that no charge meant innocent. It’s not exactly an easy crime to prove.
I mean, I can understand your DH - I’m sure none of us know how we’d react if a father we had a good relationship with and no concerns about was accused of something like this. But it means he isn’t able to be rationale about it, so you have to.

I’d absolutely make the request, but I don’t think Sarah’s law discloses allegations. Only convictions. So it sounds like it may be limited use to you.

It’s hard as i’m sure some people are entirely innocent of alleged crimes, but my own child and something as serious as that, I’d never be comfortable. Difficult as your DH is wanting them to have your child when parents not around, but i’d have to veto him on this, in the same way i’m sure that he would do the same if it was your family member (and be within his rights not to take that risk). I’d do the request anyway, and not tell your DH. Because if it comes back clear, he might push more for contact. If it comes up with something, then that obviously helps your case he’s never to see child alone.

Please don't ever leave your children there especially overnight!! If he IS a paedophile (maybe he isn't, but personally I think there is rarely no smoke without fire in these situations) then by sending them there to be with him alone (especially overnight) is literally an open invitation for him to abuse them, and if he did, that will impact them forever.

Not worth taking a chance just incase.

Bloody Hell. Ive never seen a poll on MN be 100% ever. Hope that tells you what tou need to know OP. Looks like the whole of MN thinks you should ask the Police.

Why are grandparents so desperate to have unsupervised contact?

Whats wrong with normal visits for a couple of hours with parents?

No way would I leave my DC with GPs in these circumstances. There is no reason to do so. Your DH is being ridiculous trying to force the issue. He’s risking his own child to
appease his parents. This isn’t healthy or normal.

No dc NEEDS unsupervised visits to have a decent relationship with decent dgps....
Your dh is a fucking sap...

I'm not sure if Sarah's law works the same as Claire's law disclosure, but if they do then allegations cant be disclosed.

Just because he wasn't charged doesn't mean he is innocent.

My rapist was never charged but that doesn't change the fact he is a rapist.

I don't know if Sarah's law discloses allegations but no harm in doing it - maybe do it without saying anything to DH until you know what comes back.

To be honest though, I wouldn't take no charges as a sign of innocence, especially for historic allegations. It is well known how difficult it can be getting charges brought in these cases but it doesn't mean they didn't happen.

I would not be allowing unsupervised contact - trust your instincts!

go with your gut

i would in no way allow unsupervised access if it was my child

Sorry it wont let me edit... claire's law disclosure CAN disclose allegations