Looking for opinions on whether I am right to feel a bit irriatated by this, or whether I’m being needy or high maintenance. I really don’t know!
I’ll preface this by saying I do have lots of longstanding great friends, it’s not a case of
me clinging to this particular friend at all or that I over-rely on her for emotional support, or rely on her anything actually as she’s proven herself to be so unreliable 😂
When our kids started school 5 years ago, I struck up a friendship with a fellow mum. We got on really well, and have always socialised lots both with and without our children, we are good enough friends we have always spoken very regularly and confided in each other lots over the years.
The entire time I have know her she has always blown very hot and cold. There will be some weeks I will hear from her literally daily with detailed accounts of her life, then at random she literally disappears for 2 months and doesn’t respond to any messages, and I’m left wondering what did I do wrong - this has happened again and again. At first I thought maybe i had inadvertently done something to offend her, or because of the sudden silence worried if something had happened and if she was ok, but it’s happened enough times now for me to know it’s just how she works.
I find this irritating and unkind, for a friend to just drop you at random and not reply to any messages, literally just disappear, then when they feel like it stroll back in. I don’t feel valued as a friend at all and I wouldn’t treat anyone like that if I considered them a friend. She speaks about a lot of friends in the past tense which makes me think she maybe doesn’t place value on friendships, but will always tell me what a good friend I am.
I guess what I’m asking is am I unreasonable to find this really annoying and be considering drastically cooling the friendship when she next turns up? Or am I being weird & taking offence too easily? Is it me? Is this how people usually operate? I don’t know anyone else who behaves like this?!