Did my mum send this ‘Mistake’ Whatsapp message to me on purpose

[Almostsickofsummer]

Received a Whatsapp from my mum this morning saying ‘Hi, how are you? Are you doing anything, thought we might pop round if that’s ok xxxx’

I live abroad, so knew it must have been meant for my sister as they can’t just pop round, our names also begin with the same letter and my Dm can be a bit ditsy at times, so it’s possible it was by mistake.

When I replied laughing, she said sorry and that it was for my sister as they hadn’t seen or heard from her which was normal. We chatted some more and I asked if she’d sent the message to her as it would be nice to see her etc, she said it was a sunny bank holiday there so she’d probably be doing something, so no she hadn’t sent it.

The last time I saw them they kept saying to me how they never see her (my Ds can be a bit like this, we don’t really have much contact to be honest) and mum was saying how with my grandma, she used to take her shopping once a week, pop round with flowers sometimes and would always call her once a week.
I didn’t know what to say when they’re saying this to me, but can see they feel hurt.
I actually posted on here about it and if I should message my sister to see if all ok, I decided not to and to just stay out of it

Now i’m wondering about this message and if it was sent by accident or not and also if I should contact my sister? Or stay out of it again

Mention it to your sis next time you speak to her -DM can send a message make a call if she wants to contact her

Stay out of it, they might prefer for you to do the communication or emotional work, but really it is better if they communicate directly with your sis.

Do you think they want me to do it, why?

Stay out of it. If your mother wants to communicate with your sister, she can do it herself. If there is a reason that she won't communicate with her, then the best thing you can do is not to be perceived as taking sides.

IME it is utterly pointless raising this with sibling. Just nod and smile and keep up your contact with your mum.
I have just given up on my sibling. As far as i am concerned i will do what i can to support from abroad, and if sibling shows up the sun will shine out of their arse and i will have to hear about how great they are.

In one ear and out of the other. And since they rarely show up, it's not much of an issue.

The thing is I can’t really say much as live abroad (although don’t want to be here and stuck for the moment) they live down the road from each other but only really see each other on birthdays and at Christmas, which seems bonkers to me

As you say, you've moved abroad, so you are not in a position to have expectations or voice opinions on how often your sibling sees your parents. You need to stay out of it.

This.

If your mum can’t send a basic text to make plans with her own daughter then she can’t really be hurt or say anything about not seeing her.

Sounds like your mother is quite manipulative and she's eyeing you up as a flying monkey, I wouldn't have anything to do with that, I wouldn't consider it my place to interfere.

Nothing to do with you though.

same though. For the last 2 years i have been going over for a week every other month, except this year because i took a week's holiday with DH, to see our parent, sort the garden, sort the house, try to persuade them to downsize so we can get them into a more manageable accommodation.

Sibling? meh. Lives half an hour away. Turned up once, out of the blue when i was there by chance, looking to take parent's car (and i had persuaded parent not to drive, and was ok with that but...)

I am over it. I just ignore any talk of sibling, any pretence that sibling is going to be anything other than useless, and just get on with my limited ability to help.

It is infuriating, but, it is what it is.

so what i mean is: carry on with your own relationship with your mum. And just leave your sister out of the equation. Nothing to do with you.