AIBU to think people are rude re party invitations

[Antsinmypantsneedtodance]

My DD asked for a birthday party this year. We did one a few years back and although the party was good the attendance was less than ideal. Out of 38 invited 13 rsvp'd and 3 of those didn't even turn up. Looking back the location maybe wasn't the best distance wise for people and the date clashed with a lot of holidays. 10 is fine but it did feel a bit empty and less fun than lots of other parties we've been to where there's more kids.

So this time I chose a location nearer her nursery, one others have used that has had good attendance at. I chose a date that wouldn't be peak holiday time, and a day and time other parties we've attended have had good attendance at.

Sent out 30 invitations. Deadline for rsvp's is approaching and so far only 11 have responded. 1 a no. Of the non responders 8 of those we've been to parties for in the last year. We always RSVP, take a nice gift, say thank you. We obviously don't go to parties to get people to attend ours in return. But it feels a bit rubbish when people can't even be bothered to respond.

Is it me or is this just rude of them?

I'm pretty sure it's not my DD. She seems liked at nursery from what is fed back to us and when I pick up or drop off all the other children are excited to see her or want to hug her goodbye or wave and shout. But maybe that's just show and people secretly hate us or her?

Our child was slightly older but got one invitation from a child we asked who they were our child had absolutely no idea so we politely declined, weekends are busy enough and are not for endless kids parties of random kids we have no idea about

Especially over the holidays, it’s very normal for people to lose track of plans in early September. Yes it’s rude but it’s also very easy to lose / forget about a paper invitation that could easily get mixed up with the three billion other things that come home from nursery / school.

Any way of nudging / reminding people of the date? No you shouldn’t have to do this ideally, but it happens and it’s always v helpful. It certainly helps with rsvps.

I'm confused.. you had a party a few years back but your kid is still in nursery? So was it a party for babies? That you asked the whole nursery class to?

We take a nice gift

Don’t spend money on nice gifts. What do other kids buy? Spend a fiver.

at least now we know why some people are crumbling under the "mental load" if you make such a big deal out of nothing 😂

it's all started to make sense

nothing like that ever happens in any of the class whatsapp group I am on 😂

I would love the see the outraged/ offended/ shamed threads from parents if someone did *inform everyone up front how many there are and who is coming *on a class whatsapp group 😂😂

We don't even put class party invit's on these groups, no need to flood them with so much random nonsense

surely that's absolutely fine and completely polite?

you get an invitation, you see if a) you want to go, b) you can go and you RSVP yes or no. Total non issue

How can you have done one a few years ago when she is still at nursery unless she Was a year old??
bursery parties are such a pita, so we always do a combined one- cuts out alot of the admin

I agree with one of the earlier posts - 30 kids is far too many to invite (and very brave of you!) If I got an invite with that many children, I probably wouldn’t prioritise replying. I would respond eventually (as I do think it’s rude not to), but it wouldn’t be top of my list, especially if I realised it was a “whole class” party. That said, I’ve got a good memory so I’d remember to reply, but many people might genuinely forget, so not everyone is being rude. My DD sometimes gets invited to whole-class parties, and usually if replies are slow, a polite reminder goes out a week before with a list of who’s attending. That tends to prompt a few more responses, mostly “no’s.”

How would you know how many people are invited when deciding to respond?

Am I the only one who has no idea who the other kids in my dc's nursery class are? Aside from one who is DC's favourite friend?

Definitely don't know the parents. It's a big nursery and any parents crossed at pick up time are from other years.

My dc does have friends and a party, just with friends from life outside of nursery.

Yeah last week I invited the whole class to my son's party and had 3 replies. Makes it easier for me but he's really well liked so I think it's unfair on the kids that the parents can't be arsed. I'm going to get him to gee them up at school next week.

Because they are generally on WhatsApp and you can see. Not had a paper invite in years!

It’s incredibly rude not to RSVP. I think people these days have a lack of manners, the same sort of people who also don’t send a thank you card or text for gifts!

With modern communications available, even simpler to respond.

Totally rude. My son has a party this weekend and only 10 of 19 have responded so far. It takes 2 minutes to send a text saying yes or no.
I am a single mother of 2 small children and I work, yet I’m more than capable of sending a text saying yes or no. Astounds me that some people find this difficult.