Apologies, this is a long one and there’s still plenty I haven’t written!
For context; my parents divorced when I was 4 - I can’t remember them ever being together but they have remained good friends and I would say co-parented well.
Following their divorce, my dad moved on to a new partner “Sandra”. She has 2 children the same ages as me and my sibling. For years when we were younger we all got on pretty well and I would class us as friends. However, throughout my childhood my dad would drop me and my sibling to spend time with “Sandra” and her family.
Fast forward to high school age and suddenly “Sandra’s” daughter “Beth” decided she didn’t like me anymore and we drifted apart. (My dad and “Sandra” broke up for a bit and when they got back together everything had changed.)
From then until a few years ago our families had little to do with each other. We were all civil but not overly friendly. But a few years ago we all became close-ish again and acted like a family.
Until “Beth” didn’t invite me and my sibling to her wedding. This caused a huge divide between her and my dad (supposedly) and my sibling and I drastically distanced ourselves from “Sandra” and “Beth”. Ultimately we also drifted from our dad.
Over the last year or so we’ve worked really hard to repair our relationship with our dad, and “Sandra” to a point. - I still don’t really appreciate that she never stood up for us with the wedding situation but we can get along when around each other. We still have no contact with “Beth” and my dad has previously said he can’t stand her but has to put up with her for the sake of his marriage etc. which we understood and accepted.
This is where my issue comes in. Just after Father’s Day I was round at my dad’s house playing with my nephew when he knocked a box off the side and some cards fell out. I went to put these back in the box and caught sight of a couple. In short; there was a Father’s Day card from “Beth’s” baby and a someone special card from “Beth” herself, inside it went on to say how much she appreciates him and everything he does for their family etc.. That’s a kicker because according to my dad he has nothing to do with “Beth” and her baby unless he has to for “Sandra’s” sake.
For a bit more context; my dad lives in the same town as “Beth” and I live 30ish minutes away. I understand he is likely to see her more and can accept that. He had promised to make more of an effort to see me and my family when he retired but then “Beth” had her baby and the promise evaporated. I’m lucky if I hear from him once a fortnight.
However, we had managed to arrange a day out last week with me, my family, my nephew, my dad and “Sandra”. It’s been long overdue and was a place we were all excited to visit. As soon as my dad parked he made a beeline for me and told me “Beth’s here”. My heart literally dropped. This was supposed to be my time with my dad and his time with his biological grandchildren. I was reassured that “Beth” was with a friend and would keep her distance, and she did, but I was unable to properly enjoy the day as I was expecting to see her everywhere we went. At the end of the day, we all said goodbye, got into our respective cars and went our separate ways. I haven’t heard from my dad since.
So, if you got through all that(!) my question really is would it be unreasonable to cut my dad off?
In my head it doesn’t sound like a good enough reason but at the same time I’m driving myself crazy being jealous of “Beth” and the attention she gets from my dad and lack of attention me and my family get. It seems really petty writing it all down but the time around “Beth’s” wedding when we cut off everyone, even though I was hurt and angry, I was also at peace knowing he chose her.